She hadn't missed the look of panic that crossed his complexion. It had been only for a second, before that strained smile crossed his features to hide what he was truly feeling. He could not fool her, the Queen of Masks, she knew the signs all too well. Feeling his velvet upon hers was a strange sensation, one that she didn't know if she liked very much. They were literally touching nose to nose, and yet he felt so faraway. This wouldn't have happened if it were meant to be then, right? All of this was so new to her, this game of... love? No. Not love, something much more shallow. They had obviously never been an item, they had been something for one night and one night only, and it had to led to the life swirling inside her right in this moment.
She didn't know if she should be bitter and resentful towards him, or ashamed of herself for divulging in such temptations. If only the Gods could cleanse her impurities. Hazel eyes met violet, a warm smile still on her expression, though for how long she didn't know. His words were scattered, full of hesitancy and empty words, things she saw through immediately as she looked into him, his soul; calmly. Obviously he didn't know how to react to a pregnant mare that might possibly be carrying his child. Could that mean this was his first? The thought sent her heart racing, the revelation something she hadn't been expecting. He seemed experienced, knowing in the ways of a woman and how to please them. Surely he had to have sired more children than just this one. In fact, somewhere deep within she felt that he had another child, but her reasoning as to why had no foundation.
Because of this she let the thought leave her mind, setting it aside for another day should she decide to delve into it deeper. There were more important issues at hand, ones that she would be facing here today with the painted prince who for one night had managed to capture her heart. Taking a deep breath, she kept that smile one despite a sadness filling her within, and after what felt like hours of silence she managed to find her voice again," I'm fine. Thank you for your concern. There's no need for you to apologize, I'm sure you were very busy." The final words left a bitter taste in her mouth, because for all she new he could have been busy; with another woman. She mentally chided herself for such a rude thought, to assume such a thing from him just because she was upset about the situation at hand. It wasn't fair to him, or for her for that matter, to have that way of thinking. This was a decision both of them had made, and it had resulted in something that they both had to face together.
Upon this realization, Myrrine felt more confidence, and thus took a deep breath and looked into those eyes she had once been so entranced by, speaking what was fully on her mind," Look, I... I'm sorry I asked for anything that night. Neither of us were in the proper emotional state to be making any of the decisions we did. Now it's led to this and well-" She paused, not knowing how to word it properly, how to ask anything of him; but for the sake of their unborn child it had to be done. She was scared, if not utterly terrified of taking care of this babe... especially alone. Sure she would have the herd, but they didn't have an obligation like she did... like he did. Yet she couldn't force him to do anything that he did not want to do, so to assume he would just be there for the child would be naive of her. And she was done being naive.
" I understand if you do not want to be involved with the baby. I will not hold anything against you should you decide to walk away. You're fortunate enough to have a choice as awful as that sounds," she laughed bitterly at her own words, doing her best to keep the tears at bay as she continued with her mini speech," But, if something should happen to me; if I am unable to care for them... all I ask is that you take over. I will... I will not have my child be left by their parents like I was." She was fighting so hard now, to not let him see just how much she was hurting on the inside because of all of this. How much she had hurt because of one silly little decision she thought at the time was a brilliant idea. It all came crashing down around her, and with it came the bitter tears. Intense heat trickled down her cheeks, and she looked away swiftly, refusing to let him see that she was in pain, that this was something that was killing her on the inside.
She would love the baby, she would always love the little child that would be arriving soon, but Gods did it hurt to think about what her new life would be now. She felt trapped and alone, afraid that nothing would go right and that she would be an awful mother. That he would leave and never come back, and that she would face this burden alone. Is this how Mother had felt when she had taken the responsibility of caring for her when her parents had left her to wither away? If so, she didn't know how she could have done it, and deep down she felt awful for placing such a task upon her. The tears continued to fall and they wouldn't stop, couldn't, and it took all of her strength not to fall and sob then and there. Instead she took a deep breath, cleaning her face upon a swollen spotted leg, and looking up into those eyes determinedly," I will leave the choice up to you Quiylan. All I ask is that should you feel you are not up for the task, then to walk away now."
OOC: Myrrine isn't feeling quite like herself today xD
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