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Erebos
Realism [2.5]
You did a good job of considering previous experience (Rexanna, Ashamin) and you mentioned Rikyn's build (though it couldn't have hurt you to take this more into account.) I would have liked to see more recognition of the surroundings and how they affected Erebos and his decisions, it's important to remember the physical things and keep the reader grounded. As is, your attack (while smart and clear, particularly given his relationship to Rikyn) felt as if it were made in a void. You took way more damage than you needed to in your second post. Rikyn's damage isn't particularly high, and a 1 should be very minimal, so there was no need to have Erebos lose a chunk of flesh. You might not have meant it to sound so dramatic, but "flayed" is a pretty severe term. Your use of Orsino's magic (I think that's what this was, I would not have known for sure without Bunnie's response) in your second post was very unclear, and continued to be in your third post where it seemed like it was affecting Erebos as well and made it seem as if the floor was actually shaking and it wasn't just an illusion. I was also really missing the description of damage in your third post; it was there but slipped in barely, and you didn't address Rikyn's horn attack very well. That all said you took the damage in the closing defense really well and did a good job of thinking about how the rest of the fight would affect his physical state at that point.

Emotion [2.5]
The emotion was here right away. Your use of Orsino's calculated character as a foil to Erebos' particular weakness for Rikyn was masterful and helped convey why this spar is unique. This overlapped with your prose because of how you write and what you focus on when you do.

Prose [4]
You're a great writer and it shows. My major caution would be to make sure you are always clear and that you don't forget to talk about the more concrete aspects of a fight. Your emotion score is higher than your realism score for a reason, and it's because of your prose!

2/3: "I missed you was one, and Where did you go? was another, but within the twisting convolutions of their world – with boys being boys, with heroes’ armor rusting, he was forced to say nothing. "
3/3: "It should’ve been, because ... One day he’d just left him behind."
Some examples of where your skill makes something beautiful to read that contributes to the emotion you were working towards. Great job.

Readability [1.5]
There were a few times where your poetic style tripped me up in ways that can cause trouble when considering that this is a battle, so be careful with these and maybe just give things an extra run through sometimes if you aren't sure.

1/3: "Did he seek to destroy the other, like he’d done to Ashamin (he’d hadn’t known it was him, down deep in the labyrinth’s gutters)? "
Unclear and took several read-throughs. Maybe it was the he'd hadn't, but even so it wasn't clear what you meant. Also, grammar marks always go inside parentheses.

1/3: "on a spit of anger?"
This and the phrases that followed were where lyricism overtook clarity, and I wasn't sure what you meant entirely.

2/3: "But Erebos’ teeth gnawed on his companion’s flesh, Orsino rasped in between movements"
Careful of your use of companion here, it sounds like Orsino is the one hurt rather than Rikyn.

Finally tally: (10.5)*2 + 51= 72 HP



Rikyn
Realism [2.5]
You did a good job of talking about Erebos' build, and particularly the surroundings. Noting how the rocks and gravel might affect the opponent was smart and showed you were thinking about the situation. You could have noted previous experience more; you mention broken ribs but outside of any context and in a way that further hurts your damage taking. Leading into... your attack made sense in your first post but your damage was taken strangely. Erebos' bites were specifically stated as being careful, so it was good to take damage from elsewhere (Rikyn's own hoof) but you didn't describe that second source of damage very much and overall it didn't seem as if they added up to a 6, which is something that should bother you throughout a fight. You also weren't clear when describing Rikyn's forward movement towards Erebos, so when you wrote that he contributed to their collision I was confused at first and had to hunt for where you wrote that Rikyn ran forward. In general, you can't be too clear. Your understanding of Orsino's magic was great and also considered the fact that they were in the heart, great job. The damage in the second post though just further highlights how strange your damage in the first post was, since the 2 rolled shoulder kick seems to bother him more than that hoof, which is irritated by some sweat in post 3 but not having weight put on it (your opportunity for showing the real damage of a 6.) When Rikyn is bucking it's his shoulder that he thinks of and that cries out in pain, not the more severe damage from post one. Your attack in this post and your last loses the same clarity of the previous ones since you're less specific with directions (even when you could be, not just because of the confusion with Orsino's magic) and his hopping forward while bucking to buck again is incredibly hard to visualize.

Emotion [2.5]
This spar showed the differences between Rikyn and Erebos. Rikyn might not be as emotional inherently, but given who Rikyn is you had the appropriate level of feeling and it showed. Good work.

2/3: "It is probably less than would strike me should I strike Aithniel (a girl, my sister, flame and ash, not Erebos, the General Lord’s son, made from steel and shadow), but it still makes me gasp in apology as he pulls away. Our dance rattles staccato deeper into the heart of the caverns; the dark edges that are not illuminated by the ruddy glow of the fire falls edge closer."
2/3: "I pull away from the impact of his hooves, counter clockwise, my thoughts now lured by the tempting thought that I had found a weakness in my brother… and if that weakness might just be me."
These was lovely. It reminded me why this spar has stakes for Rikyn, but also that he is a fighter at heart and there are only a few who he holds dear.

Prose [3.5]
Your prose was well written and true to Rikyn's character, well done! You had one small issue noted below but otherwise your grammar was on point.

1/3: "I thought of how much I had learned, ... It’s "
You switched to past tense for a moment here when you were otherwise in present, be careful because a quick read over can fix this.

2/3: "The thought hadn’t crossed my mind that Erebos would timidly approach this spar, afraid to shatter a relationship that nothing could destroy. It hadn’t crossed my mind that, maybe, I hadn’t done enough to ensure him that, come Moon’s curses or Time’s flux, we would always be the sort of friends that others were envious of."
This also contributes to your emotion score, but I put it here because it's particularly well written and I think a good example of how your style is a prime example of spare language peppered with more beautiful moments.

Readability [1.5]
There were just a few places where style clashed with clarity and I wasn't sure what you meant, so watch out for these spots since spars need to be crystal clear for judges.

1/3: "... – of which, he could be assured, I’d drag him to whenever the itch to be threatened by some big boss or another grew too strong. "
You lost me here, I read it more than once and I wasn't sure what Erebos was being dragged to. The falls or adventure? And what about big boss, who you mention more than once, what does that mean?

2/3: "feeling my stomach clench, the buck I’d attempted to lock and load is stilled in the sudden tumult (an odd ripple of convulsions puckering my skin)."
Wasn't sure what you meant here... and I wasn't sure either how Orsino's magic would have an effect on Rikyn's skin/body.

3/3: "I do not think of his lost ones so much as I know, and expect, this depth of heaviness to my friend, his somber evening to Aithniel’s brilliant morning having shaped the conundrum that is me, the remnant afternoon."
I could tell that this sounded nice, but I couldn't tell 100% what you meant. Remember to balance clarity with style.


Finally tally: (10)*2 + 43.5 = 63.5 HP