The frosted ground is beginning to thaw; warmer weather is on the horizon and a wave of eagerness ripples across my back. The clearer patches of this meadow, those free of snow, are showing signs of life. Small blades of infant grass are pushing relentlessly against the bitter cold that enveloped this unfortunate place for longer than usual. Hope glimmers in cerulean pools and lips twist into the softest of smiles; features lit in emotion not often found there. A chilled wind blows past and for a moment I consider it a warning to drop the well worn and well loved mask back into place. Under black lashes I peer around while audits pivot and dance; nostrils breathe deep. I am alone in this section as far as I can tell though there are scent trails of others nearby. I keep the neutral mask hidden away but close enough to be recalled when needed.

Emotions, oftentimes, go unexpressed.

It is truly freeing to allow myself this small pleasure and as I walk deeper into the meadow charcoal lips press back into a larger smile. Graceful legs carry me toward nothing; I have no goal or destination in mind. I simply need to think through all options presented and weigh the pros versus the cons. My brain is well trained in this regard yet I seem to find naught but struggle in this task. An offer of a home or at least a place to rest, made by a rather kind unicorn named Ciceron competes with my desire to be wherever my brother dwells though he claims to want nothing than to follow me now. Taking him from his current land is difficult as he has no doubt made it into a fine residence and  knows many there. These two options also must battle with my weakness of what is familiar. The ideas of a home, a leader to answer to and the laughable notion of “ranks” are entirely lost on me.

Words, oftentimes, go unannounced.

Grey-black hooves come to rest on the bank of a river branch and I furiously wish my brain too will rest. The upward twist of lips fades leaving a dying spark of hope in an otherwise now blank face as I fold down onto my knees. This area bears a peaceful quality and when combined with the day’s warmer sun, I begin to feel some of my tension slip blissfully away. For now, I have given no answer and truthfully have not seen Rift or Ciceron since my first night in this land…avoidance does little to ease this process but I cannot find the correct path this time. I cannot find which way will be best and the whole of my being rebels at thoughts of herd life. The wind blows harsher this time as a cerulean gaze pierces the thawing river; another warning I suppose. The only mask I can ever remember falls quickly back into place, midnight features wrapped in neutrality. This. This is why I will remain so utterly alone.  




"speech"

OOC: I'm sorry this took me so long <3