i am a leaf on the wind

The forest depends on how one looks at it. It is possible to see anger in the way the roots tangle together and snarl through the earth. It is possible to see a fight for space in the odd angles of the tree trunks, each looking for its own place in the sky. But it also possible to see roots entwined together, sharing space with the dirt and the rocks and the grass that all call earth their home. It is possible to see trees all reaching for the same sky, branches lifting one another up.

It is possible to believe there is good in this world. In this place that reminds her daily of all the things she has lost. There is beauty in the red, ruby pool near her feet; not just a grisly reminder of her brother’s blood. There is peace in the sunlight that filters through the tree branches in windows to the heavens, not just claustrophobia in the darkness that presses in.

If she does not see the good in the world, she would have no reason left to live at all. It is the only way for her to keep going. It is the only way it doesn’t all just feel like it’s gone to hell. Like there is no coming back.

There may be no coming back, but she doesn’t know for sure yet. She could always try the Throat. Sometimes she still wonders if perhaps, simply, the Edge isn’t her home. But she cannot bring herself to leave it either. Not yet. 

His eyes snap back to her as she unfurls her wings, and for a moment, she feels strangely like herself. She has never needed, or even really wanted, attention. But she is used to it, and for a moment, this reminds her of what she used to be. Not some invisible creature with nothing to offer, but rather, something grand. Something with the ability to soar above the ground, to draw eyes as she moved. It’s a fleeting thought, but it’s enough to pull her head out of the rabbit hole of ghosts. 

He tells her of his home before this, and she listens raptly, both ears turned toward him. What he describes is rather like what she thinks that Throat might look like, not that she knows for sure. She’s never been so brazen as to fly over other herd lands, though she’s come close to the border. “It sounds like a lovely place,” she offers, not asking why he left. She doesn’t want to have to offer the answer to that in return. She’s only been asked once in Helovia, and while she will answer, she’d prefer not to. 
 
“There are places more like that here too. I can show you, if you want. But perhaps for now,” she nods her head a bit off to her left, away from the pool. She turns to lead him away just slightly, glancing back to see if he’s even following. There’s a slight clearing in the trees. Nothing all that large, nothing all that impressive, but just a little less dense. 

watch how i soar.

lyanna