She can’t help but flinch backwards at his approach. Head still down, and eyes turned away, nothing he said could take the guilt from her. She was failing all over again- and it was the worst case scenario she wished to avoid. It took all of her willpower not to move as he reached out to her. She never deserved this forgiveness.

But how much worse could this whole situation get? Even in Elsa’s terms, this was the worst of the worse. Yet as he spoke, and the word ‘another’ was voiced in his speech- time seemed to stand still for a moment. She knew it, once again she was a rebound. For Oxy, she had been the reminder- nothing more. For him… well I guess she was just the sideshow. And for the second time in her life, she watched everything she built up burn to the ground. Her fledgling city of confidence utterly decimated in the aftermath of his words.

Yet, all she could do was smile. Her body however, physically recoiled and suddenly the touch she once found comfort in burned her. It was like boiling water was being poured over her with each small brush against his skin. She fought her way out of his grip- and it was the only action that would occur to show her devastation. Edgar on the other hand, was fuming. The bird, although restrained by his bonded, was fluffed up with extreme anger and distress. It took all of his willpower to not rip out his eyes and make him feel the physical manifestation of Elsa’s broken heart. He trusted him- and once again, it was destroyed.

“It is fine. Mending is what I do. As long as you’re no longer broken, then I did my job.” She said calmly, smiling. ’Even if the process continually tears me apart.’. So much of her dialogue was masqueraded by faux words and smile. The heart that had thawed was once again bound in nothing but ice- for none of her heart was left to salvage. He never cared for her- maybe saying that made him feel better, but if he was truly in love with another, she was an object of lust. A fuck toy. I guess that’s what everything has boiled down to. She was not what he needed, she was the one who once again faltered beneath kind words and good intentions. Hardly had she ever been “his queen”. Someone else had taken that title in his heart. He could hear it in his voice, she was no longer loved, even if he tried to convince her so.
 
“I bet she makes you happy. You deserve that. Maybe one day I could meet her.” There was a forced, rigid shrug as Elsa fought back a wave of nausea and Edgar wrangled in his anger. But neither of the two could stop the horrid thoughts that suddenly raced into her mind. He had talked her off the edge- and now there was no one to do that anymore. The thought of death and lifelessness felt, for the first time, like the best option. It was selfish, but she had been told time and time again that things would become better. Only they just became progressively worse. The rollercoaster of her life was in a continual downward spiral.

“I hope she finds the Edge to her standards. But she’ll more than likely love it, I’m sure.” The whole nonchalant comments were unnerving. She sounded so fake and bubbly, matching the opposite emotions of hurt and sadness that raged inside her. Her urge to yell at him, and to blame him were all but snuffed out. Nothing she said, or accused him of, would change anything. So why waste her breath when his mind had been set?

“But please, Elephant King, do not speak of our relations to her. I don’t think she would appreciate it. I can keep my distance well enough away. You never cared, so please spare me that. I’m sorry I interfered. If she knows of Hawezi, and she is angry, just tell her it was my fault for taking advantage of you while you were hurt emotionally. Was she why you were so hurt? If she was, then I know she means much more to you than I could ever understand. I apologize for interfering.” Her demeanor had faltered for a moment, her voice cracking here and there as she struggled to keep her composure. She wanted this to sound formal, cold, like a business deal. The quicker she could move this along, the better off she would be in the future. Edgar, for the first time, released an angry, garbled cry as his body stood rigid and on edge. His talons were digging painfully into his bonded’s head and mane as he fought against his urge to protect her.

“Ignore him. He doesn’t understand.” But Elsa knew full and well that Edgar understood. They were the stepping stones- they were used to get others to their final destination. And Elsa just needed to accept that she was in no one’s final plans, she was only a means to an end. The queen was once again bound in ice.

Fire & Ice