the Rift


[JUDGED] Play Studies (open spar!)

Isopia the Mountain That Knows Posts: 780
Dragon's Throat Apostle atk: 6.5 | def: 10 | dam: 8.0
Mare :: Tribrid :: 18hh :: 3 - is now aging slowly HP: 90 | Buff: NUMB
Hubris :: Royal Bronze Dragon :: Shock Breath & Frost Breath & Babel :: Royal Gold Dragon :: Fire Breath Odd
#5

Isopia
          Does your imagination try to make you what you wanted to be?
Because I'm sorry I do what I did, but it came naturally


The muddy mixture which coated the slowly coagulating wound on her side stung and itched with a dull throbbing sensation that Isopia didn't care for in the slightest. Though now that her base-instincts were falling under her control once again, she tried to numb her mind to the screaming sensation and merely allow it to pass over her. She exhaled a breath of frustrated disappointment in herself, silently vowing that the few moments she had spent underestimating the set-up of this spar were now over, just in time to see the icy mass strike Sjal's side. The girl had pivoted and instead of hitting the fleshy portion of her shoulder, Isopia's missile had struck the unicorn's ribs. The demi-goddess only heard a muffled gasp escape the girl's lips, causing the Mountain to believe that her attack hadn't been very successful.

Her teeth clenched together in another uncharacteristic display of frustration. 

Coming! Hubris suddenly interjected, flashing an image of the winged cat skimming across the ground. Isopia had nearly missed the griffon's movement, for her mind was still only reaching mediocrity when it came to battle-strategy, and half of it was focused on the unicorn and the damage Iso's attack may or may not have done to her. 

The demigoddess shimmied to the left - directly into the griffon's claws. The image Hubris had presented in her mind was like looking into a mirror: she didn't see what he saw, but rather the reflection of it in her mind. She thought she was moving away from the danger that he was showing her, but in fact, she moved right into it. Bright red streaks of pain swirled with dangerous precision in her mind as she felt her tense muscles greeting the light of day. Throbbing flesh screamed as the gentle breeze that surrounded them brushed over the exposed flesh, feeling more like needles dragging across her skin rather than a calm wind. And then it was Isopia who was screaming - a sound muffled by her lips as the state of impassiveness that she tried to always maintain tried to douse the sound by forcing her mouth shut. She succeeded in half biting her own lip and shook her head wildly to try and regain her thoughts from the clusterfuck of warbling cries of pain that were echoing from inside of her shoulder and out through her clenched jaws. 

Similar to the tactics of the unicorn and her bonded, it was Hubris who answered this attack, allowing Isopia her own moment of respite. 

On swift wings, the dragonling followed the blur of feline form. His wings beat hard against his dappled brown sides as he attempted to track her movements and gain on her. It was difficult though, for the griffon was nearly his equal in size and wingspan. His body might have been slightly more aerodynamic than hers, given his elongated face shape and neck, but he did not have any clear advantage. With a burst of effort to try and minimize the distance as best he could, the dragon's jaws opened. A beam of electricity jagged forward in a blue streak aimed for the griffon. Hubris' attack was not meant to be fatal by any means, nor was it overly aggressive. He knew this was a spar, and that like it or not, unicorns and griffons had talons and horns that caused pain. He did not fault them for their attacks, but nor would he stand idly by forcing Isopia to act while her body still swam in a fog of pain.

He was her companion after all. Not her bonded, her companion.

As this occurred, Isopia stood, weight shifted to her right to try and eliminate the tension on her bloody shoulder. Again, she created a mixture of mud that she placed over the wound, and again, she had to stifle a scream as a fresh flash of pain bolted through her muscles and up her neck. Despite the urge to pin her ears against her skull and glare at the mare standing opposite to her, she refrained. Like Hubris, she knew that they had asked for this, and the fault was entirely on her for underestimating her opponent's intentions and misreading Hubris' warning. Any outward display of animosity or frustration would be childish, given that she knew those emotions were more properly directed towards herself.

Isopia stood rigidly, trying to force as much emotion from her features as possible. All the while her golden gaze was fixed on Sjal, prepared to break herself from her temporary rest should the mare move to attack again.

It was her turn after all, and the demigoddess doubted whether their companions would finish this spar themselves. Though in her current state of agony, the demigoddess wouldn't mind if they did.





WC: 797
Attack: 2/3



I'm such a jerk. I say I want a quick spar and then take three weeks. What is muse even ;-;

TEACHING NOTES

I have almost NOTHING but good things to say about this. I really enjoyed reading into the relationship between Sjal and her companion. It was subtle, but it came through in the way you wrote, making it a really enjoyable read. I thought Sjal's reaction and Angsar's actions perfectly matched the thoughts going through both of their minds. Your post was easy to read and free of errors. You might mention a bit more of the surroundings (did the grass tickle the griffon's belly as she glided so close to the ground?) - doing so would boost your post up a bit in terms of judging, I think.

The only comment I'll make is with regard to damage taken. Yes, Isopia rolled a 5/6 making her attack almost the strongest it could be, but broken bones are a big deal, even ribs. Almost any time the judges see a broken bone they cringe, because realism-wise, it's usually unwarranted. Yes, Iso basically threw a rock at her, but unless it hit in precisely the right place, I'm not sure a rib would break - and your post made it sound like more than one did: Later, she would realize that the ribs that had broken were the more pressing issue. So I would watch that. A roll of 5 is definitely not something to brush off, but given that Angsar took some of the damage by being slightly chilled/frozen, that means Sjal could have taken even less.

I also think you probably ran out of words, but I would have loved to see more of what Sjal was thinking/doing while her companion attacked. She let out a grunting sort of sound, but didn't make any other noise. With a few broken ribs, I would have expected more. I know Angsar screamed in response, but I wanted more from Sjal. Was she worried Isopia would evade the griffon again and attack her? What will she do if Iso starts throwing more balls? Again, probably just a WC thing.

Just something to keep in mind! Other than that, super post!








Image Credits


Messages In This Thread
Play Studies (open spar!) - by Isopia - 05-30-2016, 04:15 PM
RE: Play Studies (open spar!) - by Själ - 05-31-2016, 12:35 PM
RE: Play Studies (open spar!) - by Isopia - 06-01-2016, 01:48 PM
RE: Play Studies (open spar!) - by Själ - 06-02-2016, 07:16 PM
RE: Play Studies (open spar!) - by Isopia - 06-23-2016, 08:25 PM
RE: Play Studies (open spar!) - by Själ - 07-04-2016, 02:22 PM
RE: Play Studies (open spar!) - by Isopia - 07-24-2016, 01:22 PM
RE: Play Studies (open spar!) - by Själ - 08-05-2016, 01:25 PM
RE: Play Studies (open spar!) - by Jen - 08-05-2016, 06:36 PM

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