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Luck is a strange thing. There are many warriors who swear that there is no such thing as luck on the battlefield. They believe that strength of body and mind will always override fortune's interfering hand; that a true warrior will be able to overcome any unfortunate incidents flung into his path, and rise victorious with bloodied sword and triumphant heart. To an extent, Volterra agrees. He trains as arduously as he does so that he can crush mitigating circumstances when fighting; minor things like sun, mud and wind have been tested and conquered by the ebony leviathan. Small quirks of chance will not take him down. But he also believes that sometimes, things are meant to happen. He remembers his spar with Grimalkin, when one fateful slip of a hoof sent him skidding to the ground and nearly cost him the fight. Sometimes luck bites him on the ass. Sometimes, the Gods send him events that are meant to try him, events that no mortal man can hope to plot against. This is one of those times. His haunches, which he'd violently swung to the right to allow him to turn faster, are the cruel architects of his downfall. He realises he's misjudged even as he's pivoting, realises that he's put too much into the movement, that the ground is too slick to warrant such a vigorous flinging. His right hindhoof hits a patch of muddier ground and slides outwards, sending his whole body into an ungainly lurch. There's a sickening jerk in his stomach as he realises that he's falling, and he desperately throws out his legs to try and save himself. He's Bambi on ice, and he can't stop his hindlegs from folding beneath his weight as they struggle to compensate. Before he knows it, his rear legs are trapped beneath his colossal hindquarters and he's sat neatly down upon them. Pain spasms through the tendons of both hindlegs - they've been badly jarred and twisted in the fall, and sitting his full weight down on them certainly hasn't helped. With a monstrous roar, the behemoth manages to unfurl his trapped limbs and lunge back to all fours, aching as he realises the true extent of this colossal mistake. Falling over in battle is a cardinal sin. It is a foolish, foolish thing to do, and his savage temper bursts free in an ungodly snarl of frustration. His ears slam backwards, his eyes roll, and he realises that he can see even less now - he's managed to kick mud into his own eyes, he's nearly completely blinded... CRASH. Did he think his opponent would be gracious enough to allow him to stand before attacking? No, this is not what happens in battle. Battle is bloody, messy and every man for his fucking self, and Volterra would have done the same. Seanan's chest slams hard into his; normally, this wouldn't have even caused him to budge, but he's still unbalanced having stood up less than a second ago. A light bruise erupts onto his chest and he feels the strain of his injured hindlegs as they fight to stop him tumbling again. He throws up his head as an automatic reaction, which prevents his foe's teeth hitting their mark. Then, the coup de grace; the other's right foreleg misses as Volterra staggers backwards, but Seanan's left foreleg crashes against the leviathan's right cannon bone with a sickening thud. The pain is intense; as well as the hoof scraping down his flesh, it also badly bruises the tendon within. The leg is almost useless now, and the beast immediately shifts to lift his weight from it. David 1, Goliath 0. Volterra explodes. Fuelled by frustration and disgust at his own clumsiness, infuriated by the pain rippling throughout his body, he feels a sudden crack in his mane as one of the amulets he keeps stashed there smashes beneath the force of his will. Suddenly, his teeth are coated in something, and he loses no time in lunging his neck forwards in an attempt to pepper Seanan's face and neck with bites. He might hardly be able to see, but he can smell the reek of another stallion, and uses this to aim with. He doesn't realise that his mother's corrosive magic, placed in the amulet at his birth, is clinging to his teeth like a broken promise. His dragons itch to help, but he forbids it. If he is to lose because of his own stupid mistake, then he will lose alone. ________________ Teaching spar for @Seanan !
Uses his Moon Amulet with Confutatis' magic in: 2/3 - 752 words |
This is going well, isn't it? Lmfao xD Remember my advice in my previous post, not to get disheartened by bad rolls? It's very, very rare that the rolls are THIS bad. Critical misses are incredibly unlikely (unless your name is Snow) and for your opponent to then roll a critical hit is rotten luck as well. BUT. Sometimes, dodgy rolls actually make battles a lot more interesting. As I said in my previous notes, Vol's got the emotional range of a rock, but when he takes a few heavy hits and falls on his ass, his temper flares up. Angry, berserker-Vol is much more fun to write than oh-yay-another-spar-Vol, so I actually don't mind these dodgy rolls that much. They make things interesting - if you ever get them against you, you can use them to get some character development in, or to really spice up your fight posts. In other words, even shitty rolls can be used to your advantage :)
Now watch me miss my remaining 2 attacks. It's just one of those fights I think xP
ALSO. In this post, I used an amulet. If you haven't already read the Guidebook page on amulets, I definitely recommend you do. I've never used one before (desperate times, desperate measures, etc) but basically they provide a one-off stat boost. So basically, now I've used this amulet, Vol's attack will be 8.5 (instead of 6.5) for one post, and his defence will be 11.5 instead of 9.5. It means his attack will hit provided I don't roll another critical miss (which is actually pretty likely lmfao). Don't worry too much about the defence part - Seanan's attack is so high that he'll probably still hit even with my defence boost. Basically, if you get a nice stash of amulets up, they can come in really useful in battle :D
Spelling/grammar/prose - This part was excellent, again. You'll definitely have no problems scoring highly in this section! I only noticed two typos ('His teeth snap are the blazing red eyes' should be 'at' not 'are', and 'lightening' as no E in it) so it's obvious you proof-read, which is great! I always say that this section is one of the easiest ways to earn points purely by maintaining a high level of writing, which you're already doing. So definitely keep up the good work!
Emotion - Good again! :D I love how he has a kinship with Vol over fighting, and how he remarks that sex and combat are both forced types of intimacy. Vol would definitely bro-fist him about this....if he wasn't currently getting his ass handed to him xD I also loved the little hint of his past, when he mentioned seeing golden sands and a smaller opponent.
Attacks - Your attacks were great, really well described and easy to understand. As I said, I love simultaneous attacks, so these were really effective and clearly-written. I also loved the brutality of his hoof attack. Overall this was a brilliant post attack, defence and grammar-wise, so great job!
Damage taken - Critical misses can be a pain to react to, so I can definitely understand why you weren't sure how to respond to it. What I always do is err on the side of vagueness. I explain why my character took no damage (aka they moved) but make no mention of damage the other character might take - I leave that up to their writer. In other words, just focus on how you avoided the attack, and let your opponent worry about how they're going to take their critical miss damage :)
You did well reacting to it, I think. You explained why it missed (some people just say it missed, which borders on GM/PP as there's no reason WHY it missed) by having Seanan move away from the attacks, but didn't risk PPing by mentioning how Vol hurt himself. So you did the right thing!
Other - You did well mentioning the rain ('He can feel the change in the angle of the rain on his body and he has half a heartbeat to wonder if it is a mistake'), and also that he's struggling to make out Vol against the dark landscape. Incoporating these things into your posts is, I find, a really good thing to do because it gives a sense of realism that isn't often mentioned in RP fights. So definitely keep doing it!
[ you can't stray from what you are, you're the closest thing to hell i've seen so far ]
[ use of force/magic on him is permitted aside from death/maiming ]
