How could you, how could you, how could you? echoed again and again, twisting and morphing into a shout in her mind.  She hadn't meant to laugh, certainly not at him, but it had tumbled forth all the same.  How could she not?  The irony of it all - that he had betrayed her, that he found it acceptable to fuck another mare without even bothering to look for his supposed khaleesi, all the while blaming her for one lapse of judgment was laughable.  Suddenly, she didn't feel so ashamed.  No, she felt vindicated.  Lightning flashed, tracing the lines of her face and his; the mare saw the snarl upon his features and her glare hardened.  He didn't get to hate her, not for this.

His argument stunned her.  She felt as though she had been kicked in the chest.  Was he joking?  Surely he didn't actually believe that?  "You never made me a khaleesi.  The Sun God made me a khaleesi when you had disappeared.  Remember?  You were gone, and I managed to wait for you.  You forgot about me, and I managed to wait for you.  Don't you dare -"  Again her teeth clenched with a hiss.  "You taught me the word, but don't you dare claim to have made me."

She could see the rage in him, the hatred that was broiling just below the surface; she wondered if he saw that same in her.  No matter how angry she was, no matter how much she wanted to hate him - gods, this would be so much easier if she hated him! - she couldn't, not after all they had been through.  A part of her wanted nothing more than to take it all back, to stem the flow of words violently spewing from her mouth like poison.  I love you! she wanted to shout at him, rage at him, beat her hooves against his chest in fury.  Why has that never been enough for you?

He claimed to have given her love, but when she looked back on their past, all she saw was a pale imitation of it.

"So Kaj do this to you?"  His words cut through the heavy silence.  It took a moment for her to understand the implication; for half a second, she wondered if she could just say yes, if she could deflect his anger and blame onto the golden stallion who had provided her with a blessed reprieve from the dismal life she had returned to.  But no - she could not place the blame solely on Kaj's shoulders, not after all he had done for her.  Not now that she counted him among her dearest friends.  "When I came back, you were with another mare," she reminded him flatly.  Then, with an ugly sneer, "I didn't want to make things difficult for you when you were clearly so happy without me.  You didn't want me when I wasn't around.  Did you -"  Did you miss me?  Did you ever love me?

Her voice was no longer raised; her rage had begun to subside.  "You know," she began, "There are some who would say that claiming another mare without caring where I was is unforgivable.  There are some who would say that murdering your mate's children from before you is unforgivable.  There are many things that you have done that should be unforgivable, and yet I have always tried to do right by you.  I have always loved you.  I have always forgiven you, even when it should have been impossible."  She looked him in the eyes defiantly.  "I know I have made mistakes, but you refuse to acknowledge yours."

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