Essetia

The sound of the ocean had always soothed her. It was monotonous and true, an invariable entity that never failed to exist. At times Essetia found everyone to be changing around her while she herself remained the same. Others had managed to afford themselves new positions and new lives while Essetia had chosen to have children (of whom she couldn’t yet understand). Her son was more content to waste away the days alongside his father while Gyda preferred to wander wherever Romul would allow. Essetia had certainly grown to miss her companion, but enjoyed the solitude of being childless and alone. Somehow she had grown to desire the quiet of her thoughts where not a single soul was about to taint them. They were a fragile collection of hopes and dreams that threatened to decay almost daily now… yet, the spy couldn’t muster the strength to move forward anymore (or backward... or in any direction for that matter). She was alone again and that made sense to her. It was something she had come to expect.
 
The trip to the Endless Blue felt far too short beneath a warm and comfortable summer sun. It was not as overbearing as it was in the South, which Essetia appreciated after waiting out the worst of the TallSun heat in some form of agony or another. The whitewashed sands that greeted her upon arrival were nothing like the red, callous shores of the Throat either. Somehow, they even felt softer and finer than the average southern coast she’d grown accustomed to. As she debated the texture of the sand, she began to realize just how large a part her wolf played in keeping the mare sane. Without him close by, whispering sweet nothings (or sarcastic somethings) in her ear, Essetia felt somehow naked and vulnerable. And bored. She had never been this long without the wolf beside her. It forced her to become her own being despite the bond that was inevitably strung tight between them.
 
After a short time studying the bleached shore, Essetia waded knee deep into the lapping waves. They were kind that afternoon and nothing like the monsoons she’d witnessed years prior. It was certainly a perfect day to spend at the beach… even if she hadn't anyone to spend it with. However, instead of brooding over the many tribulations that had brought her to the Blue, she fancied other, more romantic ideas, at the expense of feeling like a giddy, young filly. The waters rushed up to graze her belly and she stared out toward the horizon, forcing images of Ulrik and her children from mind. Essetia was finally alone and that made sense to her… It was perfectly fine that it was something she had come to expect.