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YOU'RE LIKE THE BURDEN WE BEAR, YOU'RE ALL THE HATE THAT WE SHARE His bite finds its mark, and he silently berates himself as it causes far more damage than he'd intended - her tail whistles past his face as she darts forwards, and he takes it as a subtle hint that the battle is over. Her defeat is absolute, his victory assured, and yet it doesn't give him his usual spasm of delight at another success on the battlefield. Instead, the cold pit of guilt in his stomach tightens further at the sight of her; bruised, battered, crushed beneath the heavy blows of a man far more experienced on the field of battle than her. A man who, perhaps, should have gone easy on her - but again he reminds himself that this is the best way for her to learn. Had he pulled his punches, landed only the faintest of blows, she might have gained unfounded confidence, and then had an unpleasant surprise when she faced a real opponent. Instead, she has learned that battle is not the idealistic playground of girls, nor is it usually a place for honour. It is a place of blood, sweat and tears; of pain, of suffering, of being better than the animal opposite you. No, it's for the best that he taught her firmly, the same way he teaches his children. But now the fight is over, and they are no longer enemies - she is just a badly injured mare trapped in the forest, and it is his duty to aid her. "Enough," comes his rough baritone, the first time he's spoken during the entire fight. "You fought well, but you are badly injured. Do you have a herd, so I can escort you to their healer?" |
Spelling/grammar/prose - Like in the rest of the fight, this was spot on - great job!
Emotion - Same as above. You've really done a good job keeping true to her personality, and she was a delight to read all the way through.
Attacks - N/A
Damage taken - -winces- Unfortunately Vol rolled another 6, which is another load of huge damage for poor Ru. Given that his bite probably doesn't warrant that much injury, I personally would have had her take some of the damage from her surroundings. You mention that the bite hit, but don't go into detail about how painful it is - for a 6, it'd have to be very deep and lasting pain, as 6 is the highest damage that can be rolled. You could have said that his teeth caught in a joint and maybe damaged a bone in her tail, but I personally would have just had her take some medium-depth bruising from the bite and then run into a tree to take the rest of the 6 roll. She could have cut her chest/knees or done some deeper bruising to her front half in order to be hurt enough for that 6, or perhaps sprained a foot as she tried to move away.
Don't be afraid to take damage from the surroundings if your opponent's attacks don't seem to warrant the level of the roll. It'd be quite hard for a bite to cause a 6 amount of damage, which is why I'd say take something from the trees as well :)
Other - Like I've said, you did a good job through the fight, and it's just the small things of damage-taking that you could work on - it's definitely nothing major though! :D Unfortunately, because there's a greater than 20 HP gap at the end of the dice rolls, we won't get an official judging, but please feel free to ask anything else you're unsure of :)
[ you can't stray from what you are, you're the closest thing to hell i've seen so far ]
[ use of force/magic on him is permitted aside from death/maiming ]
