ISOPIA
Realism [+1.5]
Overall described actions well and took appropriate and well depicted damage. Your timing was well done and nothing was terribly out of the ordinary. Although using companions to fight is fine, I would have liked to see much more impact on the characters from this - i.e. feeling the pain your dragon feels, not just the absence when they black out. Additionally Hubris seemed to come from nowhere to defend Isopia; some background about where he was and how he got there in time would have been helpful. I’m also not sure how him falling to the left in post two meant he avoided being burned by the other dragon’s fire, so that needed more explanation.

I found it a little hard to believe that Isopia kept her head still as it was being clawed to ribbons by a dragon. Emotional or not, warrior or not, protecting one’s face and jerking away from pain are all natural and that wasn’t. Your first post was definitely the strongest, tying in some scenery which other posts significantly lack, along with breed comparisons.


Emotion [+2.5]
Very emotional all throughout, though it seemed strongest in the beginning. I fully understood Isopia’s motivations and got a great sense of her with the entire fight, and I thoroughly enjoyed how separate Hubris was and how he responded to the other dragons’ assaults. Namely when he still tried to help the trapped gold that had just been savagely fighting him for several posts.


Prose [+3.5]
Well written with a great vocabulary and flow. I enjoyed your imagery and some of your style choices interspersed. Your first post particularly was beautiful.


Readability [+2.5]
Easy to read and understand all throughout with proper grammar and sentence structure. Avoiding starting so many sentences with “and” and “but”.

P3:
“...a rough cave him so …” (missing something)


Finally tally: 42+(10*2)= 62 HP


VOLTERRA
Realism [-2]
You described your attacks well. Your injuries were generally well described, if frequently over the top - I know you took a lot of high damage rolls, but you reacted to most of them like critical hits. I’m also not sure why you broke more of your ribs in your fourth post when that was only a damage roll of 4 =/ yet on the opposite end you have your dragon take a full electric breath attack from Hubris and she seems unphased, which wasn’t plausible.

I liked that the heavy damage Volterra took early on with broken ribs heavily affected him the whole fight, however in both instances when he broke ribs he tried to speak directly afterwards which seems unlikely - similarly when Vadir broke her ribs, it seems unlikely she’d even be able to unleash a flame breath still, much less still want to (even for all her rage, something as severe as multiple, still breaking ribs tends to dampen oneself…).

Throughout the fight you seemed to struggle with timing. In your first post you write Volterra as confused/bewildered, yet he somehow still has the time to erect a partial barrier of earth around himself - which doesn’t explain what earth he uses since Isopia took that right around him and controlled it (I would also have like to see his balance much more affected by her magic). Your timing is also off in your fourth post where you write Isopia as being burned after Vadir falls, when it was before, and similarly say that Isopia hits Volterra with her earth magic after Vadir falls when that was also before.

The fight lacked surroundings and breed mentions, and with it being so heavily focused on the companions fighting instead of the characters, I would have liked to have seen a lot more reaction to the injuries and feelings happening with the dragons. Your second post was your strongest.


Emotion [+1.5]
I enjoyed the emotion Volterra displayed, especially the variety of feelings he went through, however I often felt told his feelings rather than shown. I thought you played the two dragons very well, but was expecting some stronger reactions to their injuries, defiance, and faints - the companion link affects emotions as well as thoughts and images passed along, so given just how upset Vadir was, I would have thought it’d affect Volterra much more significantly.


Prose [+2.5]
You had well written posts with some great flow and imagery throughout. I thought your third post was the strongest.


Readability [+3]
Very readable and correct, however sometimes too many commas were used which made sentences more choppy.


Finally tally: 31+(5*2)= 40 HP