Sohalia

the Transcended

“Is it that obvious?”

“Maybe not,” Sohalia responded, her voice tired. “But I feel it, too.” She wasn’t actively trying to hide her shattered soul, not really; but she was aware of those affected by her actions. She could not bring herself to disappoint her shrinking family yet again by falling apart. She had left them alone for so long… what kind of mother would she be if she returned only to desert them mentally? What use would she be if she offered only her empty body, but not her mind or her soul, to those who needed her? And so she sought them out or stumbled across them in turn, placing her tattered emotions into a well-worn box that sat in the back of her mind, threatening at every moment to overflow.

Impulsively, the dove reached out to the blue as the other mare’s voice broke, carefully sidestepping the newborn and stand closer to Ampere’s side. If allowed, she would rest her muzzle on Ampere’s shoulder in an unusual show of camaraderie. When she spoke, her voice was thick with emotion and her eyes glazed with tears; it was obvious that she was fighting the pain that threatened to take over.

“Of course it hurts,” she whispered fiercely into the mare’s shoulder. “The last time I spoke to him, I said awful things. He killed my daughter, you know – back when he was under the Moon’s curse. And after years, I brought that back up just because I was hurt in a stupid argument. I never got to speak to him again, never got to touch him, never got to say –“ Goodbye. “He’s everywhere, you’re right, he’s in everything here. I just want to – to leave, to get away from all the memories, all the regrets -“ She stilled for a moment, silent tears leaking from between closed eyes. When she continued, her voice was choked and soft. “But there’s such good here, too. He did so much for our herd, for our family. And I can’t abandon them to face this alone.”

Vinati’s way of thinking would be welcomed, but it wasn’t so easy to adopt. No, where the girl had managed to placate herself with Gaucho’s ghost and the promise of someday, her mother was selfish. She wanted the real Gaucho, here and now, in the flesh. There might be life after death, her mate might be waiting on the other side of what came next, but for now… for now, she just couldn’t see it.

Of bravery, the mare knew little. She had never imagined herself to be particularly courageous, always doing merely what was needed of her. Perhaps that was brave, in a way, that she never questioned what harm might befall her if she could do something for a loved one. And she might have responded this way, shaking her head and denying the compliment, but then the blue thanked her, and she withdrew to regard Ampere thoughtfully. A worn, lopsided, exhausted half-smile appeared on her features. “Of course. Any time.”

She paused, then added: “I used to hate the thought of you, you know – not you yourself, but just the idea that someone might have the ability to come between Gaucho and I. And, gods, you tried so hard when we first met!” A soft chuckle left her in spite of herself. “But I realize now that whatever happened between you and Gaucho, it was just… him. I asked him to be something that he wasn’t, but I wasn’t ever around to give him a reason to be that, and now – well, it’s almost… comforting. I’m not alone in feeling this – this heartbreak. So… friends?” It was odd, this new turn in the conversation, particularly in its timing, but somehow it felt natural to divulge this to the blue. After all, no matter how hard they’d fought it, they had turned out to be just like each other in the end.

"Talking."
-Astraeus.-

@Ampere