It was hard to focus on the talk of the sea-horse-creature-thing when there were so many faces in the crowd that drew Mesec’s attention instead. One in particular he had to actively force himself to not stare at. The relief at knowing Zero was walking and whole was so overwhelming it made Mesec’s pulse beat rapidly and loudly in his ears, drowning out the chatter of the collection of foals that was gathering around his children. He wanted to interrupt everything, to shout at his friend (were they still friends?) that he was sorry. But words were hollow and meaningless compared to the betrayal that Mesec had performed.
And he was sorry but he did not deserve to be forgiven. The fact that nothing more had happened, that Mesec had been able to stop himself from killing someone he loved, was almost inconsequential - he should have never for a single moment allowed weakness and darkness to override him enough for a single scratch to be laid on Zero. It was unforgivable what he had done.
What Mesec wouldn’t do to take it all back, to make it so that he had never hurt Zero.
Truthfully, it was Lucius that reminded him of the memory locking key - as the zephyr reached out to nip at it where it rested in Mesec’s mane along with the motley of other trinkets he collected there. After the reminder, it was only a matter of waiting until the crowd began to disperse. Those moments were absolute agony as Mesec tried to guess how he would be greeted. Would Zero scream? Would he run and hide from the monster his silver-lined friend had shown him? Would he fight like the brave, incredible boy that he was?
Lucius, again, was the one that snapped Mesec out of the tidal wave of nightmares by nipping him lightly when there was enough space to move.
First, he addressed his children - nudging each twin gently to get their attention. “You two stay out of trouble, okay?” His silver eyes drifted between them both but he managed a weak smile for them. Their presence did make it easier to cope, to snuff out all the dark thoughts, but the effect was only temporary. It would leave him as soon as he stepped away from Vesper’s energetic presence and Virga’s watchful gaze. “I’ll uh… I’ll be right back.”
As the crowd dispersed, Mesec drifted - just far enough that he hoped he would be visible to Zero while still sticking close enough to his kids to keep an eye on them as well. Fortunately, he had an extra set of eyes in Lucius but the zephyr was sticking close to him, unwilling to let Mesec face He wanted to approach the young stallion, wanted to offer him the gift of the key he wore in his mane, but he couldn’t bring himself to actually move closer. He didn’t want to force his presence on someone he still cared about, someone he had hurt so thoroughly. If Zero didn’t want to talk to him, didn’t want to approach him, he’d be free to look the other way and join some of his other friends.
But it would be his choice to do so, not Mesec’s. It was the very least that could be done.
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