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11-16-2016, 01:28 PM
Sunspear
His name hung desperately from her lips, a prayer as holy as any she had ever uttered. The Sunspear had to rebuild her life and her family but was so unsure how to ask them to forgive her. She was not yet sure if shou could forgive herself. Pride and assurance in her own independence had been her downfall and now, realizing how much she had needed the support of those she love, they all seemed to be flitting away from her. If Gaucho was gone, if Einarr had been lost to the the wilderness, she needed Cera. Her mentor, her lover, her friend: Megaera's holy trinity. To loose one was devastating, two was catastrophic...She thought three might surely kill her.
It was no balm to her conscience that Cera looked as bad as he must be feeling. Meg's gaze fell on mark after mark and each mark made her flinch as if they had been inflicted on him by her own hand. These marks of Gaucho or Einarr would have filled her with pride; to her those two had represented Strength and Passion but Cera had always been Goodness. It was he she would have always sought to shelter from harm, and not because she though him weak, but because he was gentleness itself. She had seen his strength, his passion, even before she knew him, when they had stood together over Gaucho. None could say he did not have the Sun's fire in him, but more than anyone in her life he had held the purest light.
She wanted to rush to him, to find a healer for his wounds and soothe his hurts but he spoke and his voice was a dark and terrible thing in her hears. His words struck at her heart like shard of ice, and she welcomed the pain of it. She deserved that pain. She didn't dare move forward, knowing one wrong move could send him beyond her reach. Even though he started resolutely at the water beneath him, he did not attack, did not run. The Sunspear wondered whether she dared hope; she scarcely dared to breathe. She did not answer his first words yet, if she was here she would remain here.
His fury she could have withstood (Ampere's had only strengthened her resolve) but the way he turned to her and spoke her name created such a terrible frigid distance between them. Her pain redoubled in her chest but she did not recoil from it. This was her shot, possibly her one single solitary shot, and she would not back down from saying what she meant to say.
She began slowly, speaking each word as a solemn oath, her voice strong and unwavering even as her eyes watered with emotion. "I was prideful and selfish, I failed this herd, our God, and Cera I failed you. I was a terrible fool, the think I could leave what I love--who I love behind because I was to hurt to face them. There is no apology I can give for the things that I have done and said that makes me worthy of forgiveness. I am not worthy."
"But Cera, I could no more leave this place, leave you than I could rip my own heart from my chest. I must beg forgiveness anyway because my life will be worth nothing if I cannot spend every minute left of it trying to win back the faith I have broken with you and our Almighty God!" Every word she spoke gave her more conviction and without warning she reached under here wing to unsheathe her gilded spear and she stepped forward to place it at Cera's feet. She sought his gaze, tried to hold it. "I swear upon this holy steel, I will remain in the Dragon's Throat until the breath of life leaves my body. If the Sun would have it otherwise, may his servant drive this through me and pierce my heart."
FAC FORTIA ET PATERE
be brave and endure
:: permission given for use of magic and force :: please tag Megaera in all posts ::
