Numb is what she felt; more numb than she had ever been in her entire existence. She didn't know how she was even moving, yet that stubborn primal need to live urged her onward and deeper into the depths of the caves. The Mountain's instructions had been awfully helpful, and though Myrrine had gotten lost many times on her way, she had finally made it to what was known as Helovia's Heart. How her heart was breaking at the loss she had just witnessed not two days ago. She hadn't known what to do with the body, so she had simply left it- no - him curled within the fine silk of the Rotunda. The tears began to fall again and she begged to the Gods for release of this agony, to free her mind of the anguish Quilyan had placed upon her soul.
Yet had it really been his fault? Was he truly responsible for the dull ache she felt with each thud of her saddened heart? Of course not; if anything it was her fault for not being there for him sooner. She had found him as a bloody mess with barely a recognizable face, and she had tried everything in her power to help him. Yet in the end all she had helped him with was an easier transition to the afterlife. The hazy image of that smile on his lips was her only salvation, because it had meant her magic had worked. He had made him happy for one last time. Would he remember her in the afterlife? Would he remember the way his lips had fit so nicely into the curve of her chin, and that his wings had been one of her most favorite places to be? These hadn't thought about before, no, not when she had been so selfish and simply left him, avoided him like he was trash.
He had been anything but, yet her idiotic mind hadn't been able to realize until it was too late: That Quilyan had been worth keeping after all. And even then that thought was selfish, because why did she have the right to claim him as hers when he had a mind of his own? He could choose to be with her, and honestly he might have if she hadn't in the past thought it was just because he wanted to support their baby. Their baby, the one where she didn't know the location of, and hadn't for the majority of her life. If that didn't scream bad parenting she didn't know what did. Everything about her screamed bad, disgraceful and pathetic. Gods why hadn't she just off herself already? She didn't deserve to be in this life. Quilyan did.
Now she was collapsed upon the stone floor and sobbing, screaming why into the darkness that echoed further into the cavern. Because it wasn't fair and obviously they had to see that; everyone had to see that she should have been the one bleeding on the ground and gasping for her breaths. Because then the world would have been better with her gone. Coughing from the exertion of sobbing she finally stood, trying to rid the hate and malice that crawled upon her like vicious demons in search of blood. Before she was going to hide away from the world and wallow in her sorrows, she needed to finish the quest the Earth God had sent her on. In order to do that, she didn't need to be such a blithering mess. Snorting and wiping the tears that had simply run over crusted ones, she finally took in the expanse of the lava wall before her. This was where she would need to be she assumed, as that was where she would find her prize.
" Speak"
OOC: Ignore Myrrine's little... rant? xD
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