Tilney is very different from Raeden, Gawen can't help but think as he gazes up at the gentle smiling face and round, amused eyes. Raeden was a paragon of beauty and grace, cleanliness and appearance. Gawen strove to idolize her, but with every handhold that he fell short, he could see the chasm between them widening. Without a doubt the hawk knew that his mother loved him, but he also knew that she despaired over his lack of a father and Gawen's own peculiarities. He was not like the other foals, like Maude, as his mind so often circled back to. Maude, who would have been the perfect daughter to a mare like Raeden, with her inherent beauty and her kindness. Gawen knew his imperfections, tried to hold his head like mother said, to clasp his wings because he still did not know how to fly adequately, and Raeden could not teach him. Tried to be the son she wanted. Tried to be quiet and sneaky like she was, to be prim and clean and handsome. Instead, his legs wobbled and his wings shed down like a fuzzy fledgling, and his words came out wrong on the stream of his excitement. She would gently correct him, but it hurt more than she likely knew.

Tilney, in contrast, played to his characteristics like an actor. He let Gawen explore, and shout, and laugh. Laughed alongside him, at that. Lyanna was the only other friend Gawen had in the world, and the boy was slowly gluing himself to Tilney's side as time went by. He wanted to learn everything the gilded gentleman had to offer, soak up his aura like a sponge left too long without water. So when the stag turned them down the path and spoke of ferns, Gawen's ears were rapt and attentive. He murmured the words to himself softly, the name and description of the plant just as he had with Alysanne.

They wandered around together, their eyes scanning across foliage that did not reveal their intended bounty. Gawen, given a task his mind could settle with, felt the tension and excitement seep away into academia. And with it came the clarity he'd discovered with Alysanne - as if the herbs themselves and his love for them calmed his ever-racing mind. The only solace he'd found so far.

When Tilney called his name Gawen hummed softly in reply, reluctantly dragging his eyes from the search to focus on his mentor's words. At first his eyes lit up with the chance to impress Tilney, but then his mouth remembered that he didn't really have any friends and his little face went still. If he played dead, could he avoid the question?

"I...um...I think I'm friends with Maude?" his meek voice warbled out, suddenly unsure. "I don't know the other foals. But Anna and Miss Alysanne are really nice! They teach me sometimes!" He grasped onto the distraction with both desperate hands, ears perking back up and smiling a little too widely. Gawen wasn't stupid, he knew he was different and didn't have friends, but he didn't Tilney to know that. Not when Tilney thought he was cool. He cleared his throat and looked away, as if hunting for the fern once more. "But it's okay, I like the herbs. Mama says it's important to "know people", but I'm not much like mama anyway..." Gawen's voice trailed off, shoulders hiking up around his neck, suddenly nervous he'd said too much. Raeden had meant it in the way of knowing who could give you what, and the game of leverage and skill, but Gawen had only ever wanted friends. Except he was far too awkward to make them himself - thank the Gods that Maude was kind enough to have reached her hand out to him first.

Instead he went toddling off towards a glint of warm color, and lifted his head to call Tilney over. "Is this it?" Perfect distraction.