shahs trying to find the temple, someone help him --

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There has been too much time since I boldly stepped forward and made people notice me, as I have lingered for far too long on the edges of social gatherings in utter silence. I have failed to be an active member, to join in on the mourning of Gaucho (a man I never truly knew much about, despite living within his herd) - instead I lingered nearby, listening to the woes of an entire land moved by the death of a single warrior. I felt the radiance and unearthly presence of the Sun god as he crowned a new Sultana (Sikeax, I do not know her), who was to take the place of both Gaucho, and an absent Megaera (I do not know her either). The leadership role was passed swiftly to someone new, Aithniel. She is supposedly the (second) child of the sun, a self proclaimed "better" Sultana and more deserving person for the role of herd lead than Sikeax (I have heard whispers of her disgrace, of her failures). I do not know how to feel on the subject of either, remaining at a distance from herd politics despite the intrigue of it's past - I want to listen to poetic tales of what the sands have seen, what the people living within the borders of the Dragon's Throat have faced, what they've conquered (who has conquered them?).

I catch wind of talk, of the "completion of something grand." It piques my interest, catches my attention, and I find myself wandering about the Throat in an attempt to find the Something Grand. I have no clue where such a thing could be, or what - but what little wisps of conversation I catch give way to an idea. A temple, some will say, beautiful, spectacular - a sight to behold (a privilege I do not have). I am desperate to find it, to seek out this renowned structure and admire it for myself, but where?

This is a time when Yseult would have been a blessing, a gift to adore - she could have guided me to the Temple, have steered me in the right direction. Mama could've described the structure to me, given me some obscure idea of what exactly it was, what made it so grand. Instead I am wandering through the Throat without a clue, wings awkwardly extended in hopes I may brush past something (that Temple, perhaps?), with my throat tied up at the thought of Mama. It's been too long, a countless passage of time since she decided that it was best if she left me to thrive alone, to figure out the world without her help - without anyone's help. She left me with gentle words about the meeting of her and Aurelia, how she buried her sorrows in a woman she knew so little about - how their relationship was doomed to fall apart (it was never anything to begin with). She told me she was sorry, sorry that she'd wasted the time she had with me on moping about something that never meant much to her (she'd wept for months over Alala and Aurelia, but never admitted to it until I became a bother).

She left a weeping child behind, alone and terrified of a world he could not see, a world he could not survive in without her. But he managed - even though some nights he wishes he hadn't.
“talk talk talk.”