The buckskin mare's legs moved in rhythm, evenly. She felt a throbbing in her right temple but it was nothing new. Every day at that exact time it came back. The mare's black mane hung down her neck, even and beautiful. Her tail flicked away a fly. "Stupid thing. Doesn't it know not to hang around beautiful ladies?" The mare laughed, raspy and fake. Her nose dipped down and nosed the grass, looking for a delicious patch. What a lovely place this was. But it wasn't enough. She wanted company. Tallow stepped forward, mesmerised by everything around her. She dreamed that one day a stallion would sweep her off to his home, where she would be protected from predators. Making sure that that she looked her best if, by chance, a stallion did happen to pass by. She wanted to be memorable. Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, Tallow had gone around for an entire year calling her self Esther. She figured aliases were attractive. But she grew out of her name, and refused to be called it. Tallow, believe it or not, used to be a loner, except for patrolling with her sister.

She remembered, one time, coming across a family of 4 (one yearling) and Lusi saying: 'Oh yes, this is my daughter, Tal. She's a beauty isn't she.' And her and the dam walking off. Tallow remembered playing with those foals, and when she got her coat a bit dirty, the brats had cried out 'Your coat! It's disgusting! Don't you care about personal hygiene?!' That afternoon, she'd told Lusilga.
Horrified, Lusi had exclaimed, 'You don't really care what a bunch of strangers think, do you?' And Tallow found out that:

She did.

Tallow's ears pricked up at the sound of birds. Birds, lovely things. There was no one to be seen for miles. Surely she'd have time to dry off, if she just stepped in the river. It was actually quite deep, up to her knees. Placing one hoof forward, then the other, she was soon standing in the river. Her tail hung on the surface of the water, making her look like a water horse. Once she got down again, Tallow laid her body upon the grass. No one would come. She could rest. When she woke up, her coat was still beautiful. Laughing, the mare did the most childish thing ever; she galloped across the river. Now, that was childish to her, but the mare's childhood had been stolen. Trying not to look down, the mare reached the other side. Looking into the water, she never saw a buckskin mare. She always saw a black stallion with a blaze. Figuro. Snorting, the mare lowered her head, kissing the water lightly. It was her fault he was dead. Yes he had bred other mares, but they had asked for the foals. He hadn't loved them. If only Tallow hadn't left. Then the attack might have been warded off. She wouldn't have found him dying. She wouldn't have had to destroy those false hopes all over again.

When she looked at herself in a metal reflection, or a mirror, she didn't see that stallion. But she still didn't see herself. She saw Mariah. Her friend. She too, had died. Tallow had called her all number of names, the cause she couldn't even remember. Came back, found Mariah crushed beneath a boulder. Why had she had to die for Tallow's own faults? Why had she even died? Tallow already knew the answer. Because Tallow was a hot-headed, insecure freak. Because Tallow couldn't hold her tongue. Because it was more fun, to Mother Nature, to watch her suffer, than die.

Tallow snorted, ridding herself of horrid thoughts that should only come to you at night. All of a sudden the emptiness was too much to bear. "Hello?" her voice hadn't been used in so long, it was barely audible. Raising her voice, a shrill "ANYONE THERE?" escaped into the forest. Sighing, Tallow headed into the forest. Time for a new life. No more deaths because of her. No more deaths that would hurt, at least.[/size]