Arah swoops into the little gathering of horses watching this sideshow of a challenge. And before Lyanna knows it, she’s pulling Gawen away (for which she is thankful, don’t get her wrong) and calling Tilney the best doctor. She feels small and invisible and like she doesn’t matter at all in that instant. It’s not that she begrudges Tilney. Let him be good. It only benefits the herd to have good doctors. It’s just…it’s just that she thought maybe she’d found a home here. And in this particular moment, and really, through so much of what has happened this season, she feels like she hasn’t become part of this place at all.

More come. Iona, displeased at what’s occurring in her ranks. Ru, who for a moment brings Lyanna back to herself, offering a smile to the girl. A filly with cruel words. Lyanna remembers the girl, and notices that she hasn’t changed at all. She could retort. She could say something but she doesn’t trust her own voice.

The fighting ends, and she takes her leave as quickly as possible, making her way to the two fighters. She’s pissed at Toulouse for trying to shove Raeden off a cliff, but it’s still her job to make sure they are okay. So she goes, but she doesn’t want to go. She wants to run. Pick her legs off the ground and leap off that damn cliff and just fly into the horizon that she’s never explored since coming here. To the Edge. To the damn Edge of the World in hopes of finding a home. A second chance. A life.

Arah probably didn’t even mean anything by it. She probably just wanted to reassure Gawen.

Then why do I feel this way?

She keeps walking, almost to the edge of the cliff now. She could just go. She could let the wind take her. She could give up. I could give up. The thought stops her in her tracks, a fearful and tempting thing all at once.

Lyanna. And she doesn’t even know if the voice is her mother’s or brother’s or father’s or hers. It is all of them. Calling her home. Encouraging her to live in this new life. Telling her to try.

What is wrong with me? She shakes her head, trying to clear her thoughts and the damn ghosts that will not stay dead. This is home. It’s home and Frostfall is ending and soon another year will begin and she will be one step further from her past. They will fade. They will quiet. And she will miss them.

She’s taken too long on the cliff; Raeden's already back at the group and Toulouse is somewhere. Idiot, she thinks, wondering if anyone is watching her standing here like a fool. But she doesn't go back. She should. Oh, she should. Raeden probably needs her, but Tilney is there. Let the world's best doctor deal with it. Go back, her brother's voice now, chiding her. But she does not go. He's dead and he doesn't get to tell her what to do anymore. Instead, she lets the wind play with her mane, lets it whisper in her ears, lets it drive away the ghosts.