TOULOUSE
Realism [+1]
Your first post started off very strong with breed and surrounding mentions and a good realistic attack. However your second post did not seem to take sufficient damage for a critical hit, or at least you didn’t thoroughly explain your injuries. It also didn’t seem realistic you would hurt yourself with your magic, which requires eye contact, without having seen your reflection. In your third post similarly you do not take sufficient damage for a 4; you describe bleeding but your pain doesn’t seem to affect you and bites to the neck would only cause superficial damage. You then go to leap, showing no mention of your previously critically injured shoulder. Your defense post ends with proper damage. Overall provide more explanation to bring in more realism, especially with injuries.


Emotion [+1]
You displayed some emotion, especially in your first post - I thoroughly enjoyed him removing his scarf! Your second post seemed rather weak on emotion but it improved by your last post.


Prose [+1.5]
You have a good flow and vocabulary. This was strongest in your first post, but got very weak in your second post as you ended up unnecessarily repeating lots of words/intentions that really made reading the post choppy and confusing. You improved with your third post. I really loved the below line:

“Next came a feral grin - the kind that remained unaccompanied by his eyes. “


Readability [+2]
Overall you have a lot of simple typos or reading oddness that could have been solved with some better proofreading! But aside from your second post your posts were easy to follow and understand.

Post 1:
...favorite past time however… (pastime)
Of course he had hunted though in these parts sinking your teeth into a grouse daily was not so physically challenging as wearing down a deer. (this reads oddly. I think it’s the inclusion of the though and lack of commas).
...found its was to… (way)
...power held within his hocks croup… (what is hocks croup?)

Post 2:
...it made sense rally the earth… (to rally)
There was little time to think, though; virtually none at all… (either remove the though or remove the comma before the though and turn the semicolon into a comma)
...Toulouses body… (‘s)
Bloodflood, it stained his… (Bloodflow?)
...something a natural… (as)
...T’detan however,... (comma before the however not after)
...had a vastly difference approach. (different)
..his new found magic… (newfound)

“..the gelding stared in the face of the pegasus and began to creep forwards to begin his attack - however, this time he had a vastly difference approach.

Eyes fixed upon his opponent without any intention of moving…” (these are right beside each other and heavily contradict each other)

Post 3:
...he’d shy dodged on… (shyly?)
...was satisfaction enough, however; Especially when… (enough. Especially)


Finally tally: 44.5+(5.5*2) = 55.5 HP


RU
Realism [+1.5]
Your first post started off with a unique attack that I scratched my head about for a while deciding on its realism. In the end I went with her running and leaping over him, as a pegasus, was plausible, especially since she did take injury, insinuating that she barely made it - I would have liked to see more of a struggle written in though. Your second post really lacked injury description so it was hard to gauge if it was enough damage, though a 2 isn’t very high so given she took 2 injuries it seemed sufficient and your attack response was good. Your third post seemed more focused as you brought in good breed and surroundings mentions, used your rank magic, and had a good attack response, but again your injury description was barely there so you did not take enough damage for a roll of 6. Overall you should provide more explanation to bring in more realism, especially with injuries.


Emotion [+2]
I really felt a good connection with Ru during the fight, one that kept increasing with each post in her reactions to everything, great job!


Prose [+3]
You had great flow and imagery, especially your first post was beautiful. I really loved the below line:

“The disturbing voice behind her eyes hums with a - I want more. And in the world that surrounds her mind, trapped by the heat of sparring, she forgets if it’s worth staking her honor on such desires. “


Readability [+2.5]
Your posts were very easy to follow and read, but I’m not sure what happened with your second post because a lot more grammar issues and confusing wording came up.

Post 2:
Sending the feathered mare a short distance, sliding across the loose threshold of the earth, and carelessly uprooting the virgin grasses. (fragment)
She grappled with the sensation that plagued her head that began to dull – though which had made it hard for the mare to see through the initial heat of torture. (reads oddly)
As if it seared through her ears emitting a horrid pitch too high, and exploded into a thousand points of white light. (fragment)
Feel, the shallow skin tears that unravel like loose ribbon, as his head rams gilded horns along the back of her left hindquarters. (fragment)
Lifting her left wing to swing out with her simultaneously – attempting to strike out with the wrists of her feathered arms at his eyes. (several parts of this read oddly and are confusing)
Eager to inhale the fresh, pungent metal that infects the air. (fragment)
Snapping her teeth to purchase the left side of the smooth, arching muscles that lend to Toulouse’s proud head. (fragment)


Finally tally: 38+(9*2) = 56 HP