Chico was mad at me and it was over something stupid so I wasn’t even worried about it. He had beef cuz with the springtime came the shedding, and now he couldn’t touch me without becoming a ball of my own shedded hair. And he was mad like I could do something to fix it.

Oh shut up, I growled, cuz he was throwing a petty fit, rolling on the ground (covered in my hair) and itching and blaming me for it, I ain’t like I chose to do this shit, if I were my call I’d be born butt-ass naked, fuck with me.

And it was true that I was going through my own brand of personal hell, because, once again, I was shedding, and it was turning out itchier and nastier than usual. I mean, it was itchy and nasty all the time anyway but somehow I was shedding even more shit than I usually did. It was pretty bad, too; you could see a trail where I walked, see clearly-marked landmarks where I’d rubbed raw my chest, my ass, the parts of my back and withers I could reach with a tree trunk--everything, everything and anything at all that was itching up a devilish storm.

It was only gonna last a few days, thank gods, and honestly I was getting pretty close to being all buffed out and square. There were still awkward tufts here and there all over my body that stuck out, but those would rub away easily, probably in my sleep or whatever. No, the last problem area was also the most annoying and the most difficult to reach.

So like...you’d think having a horn would be super badass right? Maybe you’d be stupid and get it stuck in a tree (shut up) but on the whole it was mostly just a bunch of pros, right? Except what no one tells you is that you have hair on your face and around your horn and on the base of your horn and even though it’s thin, it still gotta shed too, just like everything else. And no one really talks about how utter bullshit it is to find a tree or a branch that sticks out just right, at just the right angle to catch that 90-degree corner on your forehead.

That’s what I was doing now, and I didn’t know the Edge's trees that well, so it was being a really shitty time. I wonder what I looked like to other horses; just watching me stick my face in a tree’s butt for a second, rubbing on it, getting pissed and wandering over to the next one. Chico probably would’ve laughed at it but right now he was pissed and I was pissed and we were both itchy and all in all it was a shitty afternoon.

 "talk"