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03-20-2017, 01:38 PM
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isopia
As the mare crashed to the ground, Isopia backed away, eyes round with surprise. Nitika was smaller than Isopia was, but even so, she hadn't actually expected her to fall to the ground. Given that this mare was her herdmate, Isopia felt a phantom pang of guilt bloom in her mind. It was phantom, and occurred in her thoughts rather than her heart or soul, because it was only academically that she 'felt' it. It wasn't the way that you might feel guilt, as some sort of icy pang in your chest. For Isopia, it was like the outcome of a math problem. Mare on the ground = should I have done that? in precisely the same way that 2 + 2 = 4. Then, selfishly, as altruism was not an emotion Isopia was likely even capable of experiencing, she wondered if Roskuld would scold her after this fight, for unnecessarily maiming one of her warriors. Even now, as Nitika scrambled back to her feet, Isopia could see a tear of blood matting her pristine fur, and there were sure to be more scrapes hidden from sight, on the side that had hit the ground. Before Isopia could continue to consider whether or not an apology was necessary, the mare was lunging forward again. This shouldn't have surprised Isopia - the mare was a warrior and had asked for this fight - and yet she was. Perhaps it was something about the poetic imagery of the red blood on the white fur, or the way that the mare hardly cried out in pain, but Isopia hadn't expected such swift retaliation. Perhaps that was what made this mare such an asset to Roskuld's team of warriors. Isopia's chest, high and narrow, was once again assault by Nitika. Her teeth found the supple folds of cream and maroon flesh, but Isopia was no stranger to pain. Though she wasn't a highly trained warrior by any stretch of the imagination, she had carefully trained herself to endure physical pain with relative accuracy and restraint. Wanting to keep this spar as evenly balanced as she could (which meant not immediately resorting to magic), Isopia judged that the easiest way to achieve this would be to let her opponent come to her, and when their proximity had dwindled enough, to attack. The only tactical downside was that such a plan almost certainly entailed opening herself up to being attacked as well. Nitika's bites were not particularly painful, despite the flesh that she managed to grip in her teeth. Likely this was due to the height discrepancy between the two, for the folds of skin that Nitika's teeth managed to find were not particularly sensitive, and covered thick folds of muscles that her teeth did not penetrate. Isopia, trying to take advantage of how close the mare was to her, lowered her skull-lined jaw, to try and graze the side of the mare's face or neck, with two out of her four horns. She dared not jerk her head upwards again for fear of doing actual damage; slicing downwards would likely not lead to the type of damage that her horns would do if pulled in the opposite direction. To avoid this, after her head had sliced downwards, she abruptly pulled it to the side, aiming her body away from Nitika, and bucking outwards towards the mare's shoulder or chest - or whatever part of her happened to be within reach of Iso's long legs. Although Isopia was not a creature of pride, part of her still felt as though she had something to prove. Ros had said she could assist the warriors if she was able to, and although she didn't necessarily know if she wanted that nomination, she at least wanted to prove that she was deserving of it. On the sidelines, Babel's onyx eyes took in the blood that Isopia had spilled with a hungry, happy stare. His hands worked feverishly together, his fingers knotting themselves together as a small bubble of drool appeared at the end of his nose. WC: 671 Attack: 3/? Summary: Isopia tries to scrape Nitika's face/neck with her horns as the mare bites her. Then she turns away and tries to buck towards her. TEACHING NOTES Just to note! The wordcount, even if it can be longer that 500, has to be under 800. If you got over 800, you'll get a fairly high penalty! So make sure you stay under 800! And make sure you include the word count under your attack! As for this part, I'd like to see this fight go until the end, when a mare's health runs out and she can't fight anymore; if this happens, it means your character is dead. And I'm pretty sure you don't want that :D So we can definitely keep fighting, but just remember, if you let her health get to 0, she will permanently be dead! It is also helpful, if you don't know how many attacks there will be, to put like 3/? So that the judges know not to close/end the spar. Also, we have a rule about how fights end. If during this fight, Nitika were to say, "Okay! no more! You win!" then Isopia would automatically win. If you want this fight judged but an actual judge, make sure that Nitika doesn't end the fight submissively (i.e., asking for it to stop, running away, laying on the ground, etc). You can just put an OOC note in your comments saying that you'd like that to be your last post! If that isn't clear, let me know! Really good post - I can see where you took some of my previous comments and applied them here, and it made a real difference! I still think you could elaborate a bit more when it comes to pain: you quite often say that Nitika is in pain, but it would be great if there were just a few more sentences actually describing it. For instance, blood dripping down her eye: does that cut hurt? It isn't fatal, but is it deep? Does the blood feel weird? Has she ever been injured like that before? Is it dripping into her eyes? Does it feel hot, or cold? Anything to given a more full picture of what's happening to her. Also, now that we're into more attacks/blocks, be careful about some of your wording. When I judge, I'm more strict on powerplay/declarative language than some of the other judges are, but it's definitely something to look out for. For example, sentences like these: She aimed for the mare's chest, lifting herself off of her front end again and using her knees to block the mare from trying to tackle her again and knocking her off balance and Getting her legs back under her before the mare could strike again both strike me as instance of powerplay. You can't just declare that her knees will prevent/block Isopia from trying to tackle her again, and neither can you say that she got up before Isopia attacked again. Always pepper those type of sentences with words like, "tried to get up before Isopia could attack again", or "she aimed to use her knees to block any potential attacks", something like that, which indicates that you aren't forcing Isopia to act, or not act, in a certain way. I'm not sure how familiar you are with horses when they fight, but it's helpful to watch some youtube videos of them going at it. Rarely do they actually fall down; they're pretty stable. I would have expected Nitika to stumble backwards, but not necessarily hit the ground. It's up to you, and I know these are magical horses who attack in ways that normal ones don't, but sometimes it's nice to see what it's like in real life, to get a good sense of how they move and what they would realistically do when shoved. Also, Isopia is quite a bit taller than Nitika, and has wings in the way - so trying to bite at her wither would be a bit tricky! That would be a good place to throw in an acknowledgement of breed differences, and to mention whether or not it's easy for Nitika to try and reach such a high spot on her opponent. |
