WEAVER
Realism [+3]

You touched on their breed differences, and did really well consistently mentioning the surroundings and their effect on her. I liked how she spread her wings to help balance herself, as this was a good way for her to use her assets and also incorporate the surroundings. I liked her taking off in your second post and remarking on how she can fly faster than Erebos can run in the slippy conditions.

Your attacks were clear and concise, although I'd have liked to see her be more specific with her first one on where exactly she's aiming for instead of just his whole left side.

You did well taking damage throughout. Given that Erebos rolled three 1s, you were right to only take minimal amounts of damage and not have it hinder you in any way.

P2: 'When she thinks she’s positioned behind and above him' - I was torn on this, however it does read a bit like a PP due to not having a mention of 'aimed' or 'attempted' etc. The 'she thinks' is probably intended to be taken the same way, but would have been better with aimed etc.

P2: 'When all is said and done, she lands somewhere in front of him' - Be careful with this, as it can be classed as overmoving as well as GM/PP. It's assuming that Erebos didn't attack you whilst you were in the air, which is unrealistic as in the time it would have taken her to attack him and then land, he could have tried to bite or kick her.

Emotion [+1]

In your first post I didn't really feel much of Weaver, and couldn't really get a grasp for her motivations or thoughts. Her comparison of Erebos to her brother was interesting and left me wanting more, which unfortunately didn't come. I enjoyed her mention of the battlefield feeling like home, but again, I wanted to see more. Your second and third posts were much improved in this aspect which brought the score up, with your third post being your strongest I felt.

P2: 'The Basin is a vehicle. One she wants to help. It does not benefit her for the Basin to be weak, for the residents to fight amongst one another. She doesn’t care if it becomes powerful under the rule of another, so long as it becomes powerful. She wants to wield the name of the Basin as a weapon. Wants the name to make others weak in the knees. ' - Love this!

P3: 'Walk in like you own the place and people will assume you own the place. They don’t ask. It’s a magic trick that doesn’t require any actual magic. You don’t need to fend off stupid fire cheetahs, or beg the Gods, or strike a bargain with Kaos for this particular skill. You just fucking decide you own the place.' - And this!

Prose [+2]

Your posts all flowed well, so no issues here. For the most part though your writing was consistently good, with a nice variety of language used.

Readability [+1.5]

Overall your posts were fairly easy to read, with only a couple of minor typos that didn't really detract from the overall quality. I did notice though that you had a lot of short, snappy sentences. These are great to draw emphasis to certain things and to make a point, however there were so many of them that it made your writing a bit jarring and broken up. You also started a lot of sentences with words like 'but', and 'and', which is grammatically incorrect even though I'm fairly lenient on it as long as it's done for the benefit of the overall writing or to draw attention to that sentence. This was sometimes the case, but often I felt you could have used a different word in the same way.

P1: 'Of course,. He' - A comma and a full stop used here when there should only be one, and 'he' shouldn't be capitalised as it's part of the sentence

Finally tally: 40+(7.5*2)= 55 HP


EREBOS
Realism [+3]

You mentioned the rain getting into his eyes, but didn't really mention the surroundings much apart from that until your very last post when it contributes to him getting hit by her. You touched on his superior agility and height in your response to her first attack, but other than this you didn't really mention their breed differences or use them to your advantage. Having read a couple of your fights in the past, you do usually mention this so I was disappointed to not see it here.

Erebos took a few big hits in this fight and mostly around his hind end, and you did well mentioning these and having them affect him. His attacks were all clear and concise, so as I said the biggest disappointment was the lack of breed and surroundings mention!

Emotion [+2]

I got a good feel of Erebos throughout, and could definitely understand his motivations and reasons behind fighting. Your second post was your strongest, with so many amazing insights into his personality that I had to refrain from listing every single one of them here. His feelings of inadequacy came across really well, making me want to jump through the page and give him a big hug.

P2: 'He wanted to know if she, if all his soldiers, felt him inept, felt him foolish, felt him a poor example of a military commander – if everything he ever did was all for nothing, if she could see how stupid, how ineffectual, how absolutely disastrous he truly was.' - Oh, Erebos, my feels! :(

P2: 'He wished for them to topple towers, bludgeon enemies, destroy opponents, obliterate, obliterate, and obliterate until the icy columns and glacial chambers were something to be feared once more.' - This as well, loved it!

P3: 'All he wanted was one fiendish touch, one glorious, infernal course of brutality and ferocity. He could be devastation. He could be ruin. He could be the monster of the mountains.

Finally, he heard Orsino whisper, and the youth began to grin.' - And this!

Prose [+3]

I really enjoyed your writing in this. You're extremely poetic in the way you portray Erebos, which is lovely to read and helped give me a great insight into his mind and the way he thinks. My only minor gripe is that sometimes your wording can be a bit confusing and unnecessary, making it difficult to get to the point beneath all the poetry, but it's a decent trade-off for the beauty of the writing.

P1: 'They could be more than a collection of assembled warriors. They could be more than wicked, conniving souls. They could be the protection, the brutality, the swords in a legion of might and power, dominance over each and every land, an empire to be feared again.' - I loved this!

Readability [+2.5]

No issues here, only a small handful of typos that didn't detract from the overall flow of the post.

P1: 'You’re still wounded too easily, was Orsino’s response through the gloom and haze, a sharpened glare sent to the boy, blunt poignancy.' - This just didn't seem to flow for some reason, likely because 'blunt poignancy' at the end seems sort of tacked on. It may have been better with a word in front of it to explain why it's there, such as 'full of blunt poignancy' or 'displaying blunt poignancy'.

P2: 'hardened from his years immorality and recklessness' - Years of immorality?

Finally tally: 55.5+(10.5*2)= 76.5 HP