LET ME LIVE THAT FANTASY


♕

The world was suddenly very daunting.

She’d stayed within the Throat, except for a slight detour between the thistles and meadows, played amongst her brethren, found new friends beside her twin, chanced for moments of glory and absolute silliness without a single thought. But she’d never truly realized just how wide, just how vast, just how large her homeland was, how many inhabitants she didn’t know, and how ignorant she’d always been – and as she stumbled along, haunted and drawn by the ringing tones of creatures she’d never seen, her mouth dropped, jaw unhinged, eyes widened, and she stopped moving abruptly.

Her first notion was to find mother and Clementine, seek them out from all the endless spiraling shadows, the bigger beasts, the unknown soldiers, the strange Sultans and Sultanas – but amidst the blur of colors, hues, and cretins, she was thoroughly lost, incapable of seeing them past rugged shoulders and undulating muscles. Panic suddenly settled in her heart, and she grasped for anyone, anything, remotely familiar, trying not to cry from the impact of the unfamiliar, head shifting right to left, left to right, gaze catching on fragments of shadows, shifting into them to regain her balance, her fortitude, the little speckles of might that had always pulsed, maddeningly so, from the depths of her soul. This isn’t you, she said to herself, blotting out all the phrases careening around the atmosphere (she couldn’t possibly comprehend what they meant anyway), mulling over her reactions to everything else in the world – she hadn’t shed a tear when she careened and fell down a dune, she hadn’t grown molten and weary when her sister didn’t join her in the oasis.

She sniffled, she pondered, and she heaved one massive breath, fortifying a puff to her chest, a slant of audacity through her membrane (you’re better than this, and it was true – she was better than a sniveling child), and wandered forward, stare catching back over the looming adults and the riotous throng. Her apprehension turned to perusal and study, attempting to confirm or deny the status of the realm – who ruled, who reigned, and who set the jurisdiction for their actions (and did they care if tiny girls pretended to be sea monsters?). Watching, waiting, struggling to find a place where she could view everything and anything (and not be swallowed by the bustling crowd), she glanced over to see the ivory and red colt, bounding over to him quickly, swiftly, unleashing her wings for a moment so she had enough space – but saying nothing, too uncertain, too unsure. Then, comforted by a face she recognized, her examination persisted, eyes dragging over the colossal, sable brute, but he talked a lot and her head began to spin, then to the electric lady, who seemed to sizzle, seemed to spark (and that in itself was awe-inspiring), ensuing a measure of her youthful tenacity as it followed the sanctions with a joyful, exuberant call. “I can help!” She sprouted and shouted, full of broad smiles and hope, not realizing, not grasping, that there was far little she could provide to a clan full of strength (but willing, so willing, to try).