Into the thunderbird he slams, his chest having the desired effect and causing her to scramble upon the Throat's shifting sands. Those great wings of hers unfurl, and Volterra is once more taken aback by the sheer size of them. He knows pegasi - indeed, he's bedded them - but he's never seen one with wings as huge as Azulee's. Again, he marvels at the fact she can even get them to work, whilst also admiring their obvious power and possible use as a weapon. He'll need to be careful of them, as they undoubtedly hurt when they strike. I'M A WHISPER LOST UPON WIND, I'M THE EMBER THAT'LL BURN YOU DOWN I'M THE WATER THAT'LL DROWN YOU, I'M THE STAR THAT'S JUST A BLACK HOLE NOW |
No worries at all! :)
Prose/grammar/emotion:
Your post was beautiful! I love your use of prose and your sentence structure, and I also didn't spot any typos or grammar errors which is awesome! Getting the writing part of a fight right is half of the battle already won so it's great that you're doing well in this section :)
Attacks:
I loved her wing attack - it was simple, well-written and easy to understand, and using her wings is definitely a good idea as they're a major asset that she has over him!
My only small gripe is regarding her earlier bite attack. It's very unspecific and I wasn't sure if it was even an attack at all or just a throwaway comment. I'd liked to have seen more detail about it, such as where she was aiming for, how forceful she was etc. Also, be careful with your timings. As per my post, both of Vol's attacks - the slam and the bite - are happening simultaneously, however the way it's written in your post, the bite happens before the slam as she has time to take the bite damage and then launch her own bite before he hits her.
It's only a minor thing, but be careful with timings like that, as they can cause deductions for GM/PP :)
Damage taken:
You mention that his bite hits her nose but I couldn't really see any mention of how much damage was caused to her. When taking damage, it's best to be as specific as possible so the judge can make sure you're taking enough for the dice roll. Try to go into detail about whether she's received a bruise or a cut, if it's deep/light, if it'll affect her throughout the fight etc. For a 3 dice roll with Vol's high damage stat you probably don't need to have her injuries be too debilitating, but the bite attack seemed to be really brushed over.
You did well taking the slam attack though! I liked how she stumbled and hurt her leg.
Other:
At the end of your fight post, make sure you put the post number (so it should have been 1/3, to help the battle admin know to roll the dice) and also your word count! You get penalised for going over 800 words, so adding a word count to your posts helps you remember to stay under the limit :)
You made a vague mention of their breed differences but I would have liked to see you go deeper into this. To do this, you're better off going into their profile pages and into the 'fight status' tab, which gives you their base stats. For example, Vol is strength 9, speed 5, agility 6, endurance 6. Azulee is strength 7, speed 6, agility 5, endurance 4. So, surprisingly their strength isn't that much different! You could go into how he's going to be able to land heavier hits and how she'll tire faster due to her endurance. If you also show her beginning to tire towards the end of the fight as well, it'll show that you're using these stats as well :D
I'd have also liked to see some mention of the surroundings, such as the soil underfoot and the heat. It helps to give the reader a good idea of how she's handling the surroundings and also lets the judge know that you're paying attention to where the fight is set. Overall though this was a solid post!
[ you can't stray from what you are, you're the closest thing to hell i've seen so far ]
[ use of force/magic on him is permitted aside from death/maiming ]