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06-14-2017, 11:55 AM
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The child's brows furrow, green deepens with worry, sorting through the possibilities - the chances - of her ever exploring the whole of Helovia on her own, without depending on her mother or father for help and guidance. She cannot see it, cannot reach for that dream, finding it just beyond the entrance of her cave, too far away for her to get to it - it's just a dream, and will only ever be one. It taunts her at the mouth, just beyond her grasp with its glittering appeal and all she was turning up with was frustration. This will not be the last time she feels this way. Safiri does not have the courage or the confidence to risk it, to take the leap outside and find her place in the world, to pick up the pace and make it, she cannot run far or walk far at all - her daydreams full of adventure and grand feats are always going to be just that, dreams. She wants to scrunch up her features and spit the sour taste out of her mouth as she thinks about only ever being in her cave, every time she gets excited or scared she's suddenly winded and tired, weakened by her failing heart. When will she be able to be as independent as her brother and sister? When can she do her own things, be her own person and forget all about depending on her parents? Forget about depending on anyone, not a healer, not a friend, just herself. And her mother gives promise of strength, of getting better, of my weak heart no longer becoming an obstacle for me - but she can almost taste the wrong in her words, that although she may go as far as she can, continuing to stretch the distance, Safiri will always be inhibited by her weaknesses. Whether it is she herself who holds her back, the mental restraints tying her down to familiarity in the face of unfamiliar territory, or the heart that cannot handle her. Whatever it is, she knows she will not get as far as mother wishes her to, and it hurts to know it. Even with her mother's soothing kiss planted on her forehead, the princess is withdrawing into herself and feeling the oncoming panic - it's quiet at first, just a whisper that echoes off the walls of their cave until it's getting louder, louder now as she finally pays it mind, and it ruptures into a roar, explosive and frightening, Safiri does not know what to do with it. She's bundling it up, shoving it under the rug, burying it with the rest of her concerns until she thinks it's fine, until she can fool herself into thinking that everything is fine, that her life will be perfect. She knows it won't, but it doesn't hurt to pretend, does it? And Safiri feels silenced, hushed by her sudden distance, even with her magic reaching, writhing under her control - even as it begins to mold the elk tooth into something marvelous, she is falling to pieces, scattered across the floor of the cave with her petite heart yearning for total peace, for her to stop entirely and lay still, to give in. She makes something beautiful, something that should have taken her breath away, and she displays her astonishment, her pride, but if one looks closely they'll see the hollowness in her baby green eyes - she's slipping farther and farther away. She gives her mother a smile, wide and faux as she passes herself off for a proud presenter of her new craft, with the way it listens to her command and suddenly she is a little less alone - Auni, help. Safiri doesn't know if this is what she will need to make it through life, but she knows that she has something now, her light in the dark as she lets her gaze linger on it while her mother speaks. "I want to make more - to get better." Because it is not as good as it could be, even to the distant eye Auni is not as beautiful as it could have been, and the princess vows there to make something amazing. She just needed the material, for she had the time. "I would like that," Safiri looks down at Auni as she stands from her resting position beside her mother, patiently working her way towards the mouth of the cave before turning to make sure her mother was following, feeling excitement twist her gut but her raging sadness crushes it and it gets no farther. So she stands and waits, her golem standing at her side with a patience that reflected her own, blank stare focused on the rock wall in front of it while they waited. a wind in the shadow, a whale song in the deep |
@Rexanna
