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06-23-2017, 04:17 PM
the cigarettes you light one after another
won’t help you forget her
won’t help you forget her
From the Edge I headed towards the only place I knew that had continually and reliably served me as a sanctuary throughout my years: the heavenly fields. I gave up long before I could make it there, though. Hours spent searching for my mother yielded no results, so I had left the Edge at sunset in a flurry of smoke and chagrin, exhausted but impatient. I had to leave, there was nothing left for me in those mists. However, throughout the long and silent journey, apathy crept slowly into my bones, weighing me down till, combined with the lack of daylight, I could fly no longer.
I descended rapidly into the first clearing I saw, landing heavily, stumbling forward and coming to an abrupt, graceless halt. Motionless I stood, blanketed by moonlight, breathing slowly, black clouds unfurling from my lips with my every meek exhale. My hair curtained my head, distorted my vision even further, but I didn't care enough to move it.
Here you are again, alone, I thought sullenly to myself. I joined the Edge so I could be near my mother, but dammit, I couldn't find her anywhere. Finding Shida seemed even less likely, it had to have been a year since I had seen her last. She would never have abandoned me like I did her. Regret rose suddenly in my throat and stung my eyes. I really fucked up.
I reunited with what family I had left only to watch them slip through the cracks in my life again. Did I hold them too tight? Not tight enough? I knew we were a fractured trio, but I thought we were getting better. Broken bones and bruised knuckles are suppose to heal, how the hell did we get infected?
A shaky, nebulous sigh left my lips. Frustration and sadness and anger all ran rampant through my chest, I couldn't shake it, couldn't fight it. For one moment I just wanted to feel nothing, nothing at all. I would have traded it all: the happy, the sad, the beautiful, and the ugly for nothing. I closed my eyes, trying to clear my head, but silencing my thoughts turned out to be impossible. Gods, loneliness is so strange. You would think I'd be used to it by now.
eeeekk sorry for the mopey auri, she will get better...also i might've forgotten how to write her because it's been a million years ^^; @Volterra
I descended rapidly into the first clearing I saw, landing heavily, stumbling forward and coming to an abrupt, graceless halt. Motionless I stood, blanketed by moonlight, breathing slowly, black clouds unfurling from my lips with my every meek exhale. My hair curtained my head, distorted my vision even further, but I didn't care enough to move it.
Here you are again, alone, I thought sullenly to myself. I joined the Edge so I could be near my mother, but dammit, I couldn't find her anywhere. Finding Shida seemed even less likely, it had to have been a year since I had seen her last. She would never have abandoned me like I did her. Regret rose suddenly in my throat and stung my eyes. I really fucked up.
I reunited with what family I had left only to watch them slip through the cracks in my life again. Did I hold them too tight? Not tight enough? I knew we were a fractured trio, but I thought we were getting better. Broken bones and bruised knuckles are suppose to heal, how the hell did we get infected?
A shaky, nebulous sigh left my lips. Frustration and sadness and anger all ran rampant through my chest, I couldn't shake it, couldn't fight it. For one moment I just wanted to feel nothing, nothing at all. I would have traded it all: the happy, the sad, the beautiful, and the ugly for nothing. I closed my eyes, trying to clear my head, but silencing my thoughts turned out to be impossible. Gods, loneliness is so strange. You would think I'd be used to it by now.
eeeekk sorry for the mopey auri, she will get better...also i might've forgotten how to write her because it's been a million years ^^; @Volterra
She walks in starlight in another world.
She is far away. She...she is far, far away from me.
She is far away. She...she is far, far away from me.
