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L e a n d e r | L e v i
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By my verdict LEANDER is the winner.
LEANDER -- post 1 (attack only)
[Realism]
+ 1| Attack: feint
+ 1| Attack: buck
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
LEVI -- post 1
[Realism]
- 1| Defense: feint – you mention it briefly, but not how you reacted to the feint.
- 1| Defense: buck – wings cannot block a buck and would take severe damage. It’s also unlikely you could be so prepared to block when Leander used a feint right before.
+ 1| Attack: tripping
- 1| Attack: sliding underneath – this is not a viable attack for a horse, nor would you be able to life someone up after sliding beneath them.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
0| Flow
- 1| Easy read
LEANDER -- post 2
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: tripping attack left small bruise
+ 1| Defense: rearing
+ 1| Attack: dive at spine
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
LEVI -- post 2
[Realism]
- 1| Defense: struck in back leg – Leander did not fall, for one, and he aimed at Levi’s back/spine which you do not describe trying to avoid so I’m unsure how this hit your back leg instead or how you could fall backwards.
+ 1| Attack: bite at neck
- 1| Attack: stomach kick – if you were just biting his neck, your hind hooves would not be nearly close enough to hit his stomach. Also hooves cannot slice through skin, they are rather blunt.
- 1| Attack: head kick – again based on position you could not reach his head, nor do you even describe in any way how you led up to this attack.
+ 1| Attack: water flick – the water is a good distraction, but would not be sharp or as fast as you are describing.
[Prose]
0| Emotion
- 1| Flow
- 2| Easy read
LEANDER -- post 3
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: bite to shoulder
- 1| Attack: bite at ear – if he had just bit your shoulder you wouldn’t be in a position to reach around and bite his ear, horses have a hard time reaching that far back especially while running. If you had described some repositioning of the rest of his body for this attack, it would have likely been valid.
+ 1| Defense: dodge stomach kick
+ 1| Defense: dodge head kick
+ 1| Defense: pelted with water
+ 1| Attack: bite at wing
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
LEVI -- post 3
[Realism]
0| Defense: bite on ear – could have avoided this!
- 1| Attack: bucking at front knee – alright first off, you should not backtrack this far to attack again when the fight has long progressed past this point. You yourself already wrote several attacks in this time and moved on to the ocean, so just in that regard this attack is not viable. If it were however, you are not properly positioned for a buck, Leander is in front of you not anywhere near your hindend.
0| Defense: wingtip grabbed – this was a good defense, but lacked description as to how you angled yourself to get only the tip bitten.
0| Attack: buck – this would have been a good time to buck especially as you described spinning around to do it, but you continue and it’s no longer clear if you made the buck or stopped yourself to do something different.
+ 1| Attack: bite at face – there is no foreface.
0| Attack: charge – you were already standing right by Leandor so could not really get any speed for a charge.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
- 1| Flow
- 2| Easy read
LEANDER -- post 4
[Realism]
0| Defense: kicked – you could have avoided this!
+ 1| Defense: bite grazes cheek
+ 1| Attack: rear – rearing up to kick someone quickly charging at you will knock you over, however because they are already so close I think in this scenario it could work.
+ 1| Defense: blocking charge with rear.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
LEVI -- post 4
[Realism]
- 1| Defense: you make no mention of Leander’s rear to your charge I found it down below finally. This entire post was chaos for me with the way you were timing everything, please just respond accordingly to your opponent’s string of attacks and defenses. Either way you do not describe how you avoid the rear attack, only that you do which is not enough.
- 1| Attack: charge - how are you charging right now, I don’t understand this situation at all.
- 1| Attack: hoof stomp on back – I have no idea how a shorter horse could stomp someone’s back from a charge, or how this attack is even happening based on the situation in Leander’s post. You cannot really pin a horse. If timing wise you’re putting this when Leander bit his wing, again that has already long ago happened and you have already written yourself doing things since then. You cannot backtrack that far to attack again.
- 1| Powerplay: “Levi’s heart pounded as he gave Leandor a slight cut on his foreface.” You cannot say you gave him a cut, I’m not even sure when or how you attacked him for this. If this is supposed to be when Leander’s cheek was bitten, that was long ago in the timeline so it’s strange you mention it now, it was his cheek, and it wasn’t bleeding. This is all very confusing.
- 1| Attack: stifle trip – kicking stifles would not trip someone and there is not enough detail here for me to visualize this.
- 1| Attack: rear at head – you do not explain how you went from the previous attack to this and are not in the right position to make this attack. Also consider how you are shorter than Leander, it’s unlikely you’d hit his head.
- 1| Attack: hip attack – not enough detail to visualize how this happening now did you describe getting in a realistic position to carry this out based on the position you were in with your last attack and where your opponent is believed to be.
[Prose]
0 | Emotion
- 2| Flow
- 2| Easy read
LEANDER -- post 5 (defense only)
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: takes charge to shoulder
+ 1| Defense: runs away from rear at back
+ 1| Defense: rump to rump
+ 1| Defense: running from head kick and hip attack.
LEANDER
[Bonus]
+ 1| Surroundings
+ 1| Breed
+ 1| Health
[Injuries]
None.
[Creativity]
+ 1| Loved the way you used his wings throughout the fight.
Comments: You show a lot of skill with your grasp on horse mechanics in fighting and timing. I loved the way you used your wings throughout the fight and played on the ice demon. I would like to see some more emotion from you however, I never felt fully drawn into Leander and all his motives, just a few glimpses of his feelings and his past. You could also benefit more from playing off your surroundings and mentioning your sustained injuries and how they’re affecting you during the fight – in this case I don’t think you had many to do that with but you never mentioned any injury except when taking it. I expect great things from you in the future though with how well you attack and defend!
LEVI
[Bonus]
+ 2| Surroundings
+ 1| Breed
[Injuries]
None.
[Creativity]
+ 1| Unique idea with that sand sliding attack.
Comments: You show a lot of promise with your creativity for attacks and how well you do use your surroundings. I’m not quite sure you have a grasp on how horses fight though, and would suggest doing some research and reading through past fights. Timing and positioning were some of your biggest issues here. You cannot keep going back to add more attacks in when you’ve already moved past a situation, otherwise everything stops making sense, and you need to remember to be specific with what your attacking with, where you’re attacking, and how you’re doing that attack (same for defense). So using right, left, parallel, perpendicular, etc will all help everyone figure out where the characters are in relation to each other. I’d also suggest not attacking as much in your posts. You would do a lot which makes it hard to defend properly or time things accurately. I would rather see more detailed attacks then a lot of attacks. You also need to really improve on your grammar. There were a lot of typos and strange sentences throughout all your posts. Please proof read before posting! I know you can definitely improve if you take more time on your replies and study others a bit further :)
TOTAL
LEANDER - 82
LEVI – 35
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Sharpen the Blades [JUDGE]
