Moments ago, the scene before her had rushed and crashed together in her mind, likes waves haphazardly beating up the shore. Now however, for a few glorious calming seconds, things serenely seemed to pause, allowing for a moment of clarity.

She watched Tolio stumble forward in agonizing emotional pain, surely as wounded as She. Her large green eyes regarded this with sadness, rather than ager, as she finally was able to accept that neither of them was able to change; she had read it all wrong. She was foolish to have thought Tolio would have known about Faelene and Leander...of course it was a secret. Although she had spoken so openly with the Sultan about his relationship with the dark mare, that she had thought Faelene would have been as open with Tolio. She had meant to incite a protective desire within Tolio, and instead she had only wounded him, something she never meant to do - at least, not in this way. She wanted guilt, not tears flowing from the cinnamon stallion. As if in a trance, she watched Faelene move to his side, physically lending support to him, in a way which also soothed him emotionally.

None of them could change.

Phaedra needed a protector, someone to stand up for her and take her side, but Tolio could never be that rock she needed. This realization was solidified as Tolio appreciatively accepted Faelene's physical brace, softly mumbling into her dark pelt. With a cold clarity, Phae realized that it was her emotional attachment to Tolio which had ultimately initiated this situation. Her inner-mind forgave her transgressions, for how could she have known? She had never experienced love before; had never known the ugly side to the emotion which had brought her such joy and inner turmoil. She did however, know exactly what mares were like. She should have known that Faelene would manipulate a moment that should have been just between Phae and Tolio...She listened as Faelene denied her relationship with Leander, but it didn't just stop there - the mare had also decided to insult Phae as well. How could Tolio be so blind to Faelene's malicious attacks of her? Phaedra hadn't said a single word to her, and yet here she stood hurling verbal attacks; and there Tolio stood silently letting it happen. He had defended Faelene simply against one of Phae's looks but would do nothing to protect his other sister now?

But she knew exactly why.

Tolio needed Faelene in exactly the same way that Phae needed him. Faelene provided stability and strength. She was taking his side even though it was not her fight to take, even though really, Phae was not in the wrong here, at least she didn't think so. Tolio had said he would love her and be a brother for her - and wasn't this precisely what big brother's were for? For comforting their own when they were hurt? It wasn't a lie that Leander was the one who did this, and it wasn't a lie that Faelene and Leander were together. Perhaps her budding love for Tolio was to blame for her irrational tears but Phae had not lashed out at Faelene, as the dark mare had done to her - she merely came to her friend, her supposed brother in a time of need, and was now being cast away.

Faelene only appeared to be 'winning' this battle, because Phae could simply not find the words to defend herself. But Faelene was wrong, oh so wrong. The mare knew exactly what she was doing; each word hit Phae as if a hand beating on a drum - but the mare had underestimated just who she was stealing from. Faelene was a cold actress - Phaedra had seen absolutely zero emotion enchant the dark mares features when Phae had mentioned that Leander had been the one to injure her...

But the slow passage of time was dissapearing, and reality was fading in. The reality was, there was nothing she could do. She could not best Faelene, and Tolio had obviously made his decision. I'll fix it, I promise!" Tolio had said; but no, he wouldn't. He could but a final icy grip of pain overwhelmed her heart as she comprehended the truth of the situation. It was done. She wished more than anything she could erase her feelings for him, and go back to being the bubbly baby-sister that he had been so enchanted with, but she couldn't do that either. The only thing left was to remove herself from his life completely. It seemed that was her only option, the one Faelene was demanding.

She turned her green gaze to Tolio now, taking in his deep beautiful features for what she believed to be the last time. Memories flashed before her eyes: Their meeting on the beach, offering Tolio and Faelene a home in The Grey, meeting with Leander for the sole purpose of protecting Faelene and Tolio; the walks they would never have together, the talks..the secrets. Phaedra had even foolishly considered asking the God's for a way to make him fly, so she could share the skies with him. All of her anger had simply faded away, leaving nothing but complete sadness and regret. Phaedra extended her wings, ignoring the pain which etched through her wounded appendages, for it was nothing compared to the agony in her heart. Bright red blooms of blood appeared in between her feathers as the broken skin cracked open. She desperately wished to go to him, to lay her muzzle against his one more time. To feel his warmth on her skin, to breathe him in and cover him with her wings. But he stood barred by the black wraith. Phaedra no longer held any anger towards Faelene, at least not in these last moments - she was doing precisely what a good sister ought to do, but she was still wrong, even if Tolio's love for the dark mare had blinded him to her treachery. Her eyes shimmered as she commanded herself to hold back the sobs that so desperately wished to escape her lips.

I love you. her eyes seemed to say, and; I'm sorry..

Nothing she could say would be enough, it never could be, but she hoped he understood, for she would never have the opportunity to explain. With a final long-gaze, she etched his image into her memory, erasing Faelene from the mental picture as best as she could, but the mare would always remain a black smear marring her image of her cinnamon friend.

Rearing back, Phaedra forced herself into the air, her wings pumping painfully to create lift from a complete stand still. Phaedra was fast, and was perhaps flying faster than she ever had before, having never been fueled by an emotion quite this powerful. As her sooty lithe form dissapeared into the clouds, a single feather floated back to the beach in her wake. It was nearly the colour of the sand, but had one spot on it, connecting it to Phaedra who shared the same odd-spotting.

It was done.

I did my best, it wasn't much.
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you.
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah