the Rift


[Judge] Time to test skills [Kri]

Kri the Resolute Posts: 243
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Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3hh :: 10 Buff: NUMB
Boom Boom!
#4

KRI the resolute
one cannot stop the wind from blowing, nor refuse the falling rain.


She was quick, almost impossibly so, and my attacks miss her body altogether. As she lunges back, her horn pointed dangerously toward my face, I let out a playful snap, not aiming to land upon her body, almost like a dog would chase fruitlessly after a stick flying about in the air. I let out a joyous laugh, feeling the peel of battle once more as I hit the dirt, my hooves flinging dirt recklessly about, red clouds of dust pluming a foot above the ground, twirling loose as the wind follows me diligently. Aisha as well is hot on my heels, almost as diligent as my wind, but not as fast. I am already moving again, hooves finding traction in the areas of dirt cleared by my wind and slide just moments ago, clattering against harder red stones underneath the thin carpet of sand.

My dart forward does not escape the outstretched stones of Aisha's hooves, clipping my rump and leaving prints of red dirt meddle in with the chocolate. The dull points of her round hooves do not cut, thankfully, but the pain radiating from my rear tells me that I am likely to have some bruising underneath my lush coat of chocolate before nightfall. Letting out a snort of excitement, I push on. My path is not straight, however, as I am not attempting to flee my opponent, so I curve, making a quick throw of my teeth toward the shoulder of Aisha as she bites out at the phantom of myself, my former position, having thought me immobile. I was uncertain why newer fighters assumed that their opponents were unable to move, but I was reminded of Elizabeth's folly during our fight not long ago.

Pegasus, just as unicorns, have legs perfectly capable of fast movement. Maybe that should be a lesson taught by Azzuen and Midas for the Soldiers. I would make certain to tell them after this spar.

My hooves do not stop moving as I twist around, dark eyes following Aisha's jerking movements with interest, but more of a harsh, critical eye. The second kick of my opponent misses entirely, again toward the same cleared patch of desert in which I have landed. I laugh quietly to myself, though with this proximity, I am sure that Aisha can hear me. Now, it is time to begin again. Coming around her side once more, I suddenly burst forward in speed. I slide in toward her right, throwing the entirety of my weight into my left shoulder and toward her right barrel, teeth outstretched to seek the top of the mare's shoulder, hopefully out of reach of the sword neatly stuck through her skull. I am very glad that I am not battling a foe on this day.
""

[ WC: 482; 2/2; 0/2 magic ]




[ OOC commentary; I have more to comment on this time, but I will try not to blab too much. xD

The first warning I have for you is not to dodge too much. Defenses are good, dodging really strong attacks is good, but simply avoiding all of your opponent's attacks will lose you a fight. You have to balance the amount of damage you take with the realistic ability of your character to dodge, which really varies with who you are fighting. You have to constantly be considerate of your character's strengths as well as that of your opponent.

I will tell you right now that Kri will be counted as faster than Aisha by a judge. Normally, Aisha would have the advantage with a slimmer build and longer legs, but Kri has the Battle Buff Swift, while Aisha does not. Her movements will either be just as fast as Kri's or slower, but the fact that you dodge all of Kri's attacks suggests that she is quicker to respond. You will get points taken off for unrealistic dodges - so keep that in mind.

Also, I had a problem with your anatomy here: "Aisha took a hasty step back,arching her neck in a defensive. Her horn was pointed directly at Kri's head..." Kri is flying. Her barrel is sort of level with her neck, if you think about it, and if Aisha is arching her neck, there is no possible way to have her horn pointed down and also at a pegasus's head while she is flying.

Okay, moving on to your attacks.

The main problem with your attacks is that you held no sense of time frames. Your first kick was a very good, very solid attack. It made sense if Kri was behind her to just kick out. That was excellent. Then, it gets messy.

Kri is not an inanimate object. She will move, but your attacks did not account for this. Your "quick turns" will still take time, they are not instantaneous. You lost all sense of time during your attacks. A kick itself may take 3 seconds, but during those 3 seconds, Kri was already moving. You did not adjust your wording to make room for Kri to move, which can be considered slight powerplay or just idiocy on part of your character to keep attacking the same spot. I was forced to either miss the majority of your attacks or act as though I knew your character was following Kri, which would be powerplay in itself.

A pivot, even a quick one, takes around 2-5 seconds. A bite is quick, maybe a second if you're not gripping onto your opponent. The rest takes time. So, here is a break down of your attacks.

Kick: 3 seconds
Turn: 3.5 seconds
Bite: 1 second
Turn: 3.5 seconds
Kick: 3 seconds

In total you have about 14 seconds where you just expect Kri to stand still. In the case that you said Aisha was moving, running, walking, adjusting at all, I would have room to make some of your attacks plausible. However, the way your post is worded, Aisha seems stationary to a small area.

A suggestion I have is to not break up your attacks with movement like that. You should not -have- to turn more than once during your post. If you do, you may want to consider if you are attacking too much! Your attacks should come as fluid movements, either as a way to defend or one, cooperative offense. Rear/bite, ram/bite, kick/ram, etc. It should not be broken up into such jagged, separate attacks.

The largest problem with your post is this:
"full vision of Kri and was out of reach of any bites. She was now had kri in full vision,just over a meter away."

This small pair of sentences has two instances of powerplay. You /cannot/ say your character is out of reach of another directly. You cannot assume the position of a character, which is what you do by dictating the distance here. You should have worded this more loosely. "Trying to keep out of reach of any bites" and "She could see Kri not far away", for instance. The judge will count you off heavily for anything that can be construed as powerplay.

My last tip is to run your post through a word processing program just to catch minor spelling/grammar mistakes that happen. I am not a good example of a proofreader, as I almost never do it. You should not follow my example! Make the judge's life easier and proofread! Doing this can also help you catch any out of question attacks you thought sounded good at the time, but in reality make no sense. xD

Kri attempts to bite out at Aisha while she is biting at the area where she was standing. After the flurry of Aisha's attacks, Kri tries to ram her right side with her shoulder while biting out for her neck. ]


Messages In This Thread
[Judge] Time to test skills [Kri] - by Aisha - 12-25-2012, 03:37 PM
RE: Time to test skills [Kri] - by Kri - 12-28-2012, 11:45 PM
RE: Time to test skills [Kri] - by Aisha - 12-29-2012, 10:18 AM
RE: Time to test skills [Kri] - by Kri - 01-05-2013, 04:47 PM
RE: Time to test skills [Kri] - by Aisha - 01-06-2013, 08:36 AM
RE: Time to test skills [Kri] - by Kri - 01-19-2013, 09:34 PM
RE: Time to test skills [Kri] - by Aisha - 01-20-2013, 04:35 AM
RE: Time to test skills [Kri] - by Official - 01-22-2013, 02:03 PM
RE: Time to test skills [Kri] - by Kri - 01-22-2013, 02:51 PM

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