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K r i | A i s h a
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By my verdict KRI is the winner. Kri can now use the battle buff Dance!
Remember Kri, now that you have more than 2 battle buffs you need to specify which 2 your are using in a fight, if any.
KRI -- post 1 (attack only)
[Realism]
+ 1| Attack: shove
+ 1| Attack: bite
[Prose]
+ 2| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
AISHA -- post 1
[Realism]
0| Defense: dodge shove? – you say you twist away, which is plausible, but you do not make any definitive remark if the shove misses, grazes you, or still hits.
- 1| Defense: dodge bite – if you had just twisted away from the shove, and Kri was doing all these attacks basically simultaneously, you would not have the time to back up and lower your head, and if you did the bite would still at least graze something not completely miss.
- 1| Attack: buck – Kri landed several feet away and you never mentioned moving closer towards her, this buck would only hit air.
0| Attack: bite – I can’t tell if this is an actual attack or just a bluff. You never describe the actual action of attacking, or aiming anywhere at Kri, you just say your mouth is open. Please specify.
- 1| Attack: kick – all these circles around Kri, it’s highly unlikely she’s still just standing there, and I don’t understand how you can be close enough to kick but out of reach for Kri to counter-attack. You also say she is over a meter away so not fully sure how you could reach her either.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
0| Flow – your transitions can be a bit choppy
- 1| Easy read – a lot of confusing sections to this
KRI -- post 2
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: took the buck
+ 1| Defense: missed the bite
+ 1| Attack: bite
+ 1| Experience: remembering Elizabeth fight
+ 1| Defense: avoids kick
+ 1| Attack: ram
+ 1| Attack: bite
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
AISHA -- post 2
[Realism]
- 1| Attack: rump slam – you do this in response to Kri’s bite, but Kri’s bite is already in response to one of your attacks so you cannot attack again. It’s never a good idea to backtrack too much in a fight post. Once you have written your attacks the post prior, it’s a good idea to really only defend to anything your opponent may do in that time frame, only making new attacks following the timeframe of your opponent’s newest attacks…. I’m not sure if that made any sense, but basically you’re trying to double back to your actions 2 posts ago which is too much.
- 1| Defense: bite – you make no mention of whether you took Kri’s bite or not.
- 1| Defense: rearing – to dodge a ram with a rear is very unwise as you’ve just made yourself more unbalanced, but to say the ram entirely missed because you reared makes no sense. Your body is still in the same area, just slightly up, so Kri would have a high chance of still striking it unless you had moved first and then reared.
- 1| Defense: bite – you never say if the bite lands or not
0| Attack: rear – Kri would still be close so trying to attack when coming down from a rear is a good choice. Given the circumstances of your rear, however, it makes no sense in this case.
[Prose]
0| Emotion
0| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
KRI -- post 3 (defense only)
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: misses the butt bump – this was not as clear as it could have been
+ 1| Defense: misses the rear attack
KRI
[Bonus]
+ 1| Surroundings
+ 1| Health
[Injuries]
None.
[Creativity]
None.
Comments: I really enjoyed Kri’s head commentary in this fight, haha. I could tell this was a faster spar because you didn’t focus on some of the smaller extras like breed and surroundings, but still you did very well especially given some of the confusing or strange instances that came up in this battle. Not much to suggest for working on in the future, great job!
AISHA
[Bonus]
None.
[Injuries]
None.
[Creativity]
None.
Comments: I did see some improvements over the course of this fight, but you definitely need to research how horses fight a little bit more as some of your mechanics and timing especially were very off. It also concerns me that you didn’t take a single attack this entire battle. It is not avoiding attacks that earns you points, it’s how realistic you are, be it dodging or taking an injury, so keep that in mind in the future! Also make it very clear in your writing if an attack does land or not, as sometimes I wasn’t sure if you had dodged or taken an attack, but based on wording assumed dodged. Your attacks had pretty good aim as far as the body parts of your opponent, but don’t forget that mentioning left or right sides makes a huge difference as well and is very helpful for your opponent and judge to better visualize. As a suggestion for your next fight, you want to avoid circling around your opponent or setting up attacks that take a lot of preparing because your opponent will rarely be standing still, and it can be assumed that once you make one attack they are already reacting and moving, so you need to strategize and word your attacks for the movement of your opponent. You have some potential though and practice makes perfect, so just keep practicing!
TOTAL
KRI - 70
AISHA - 44
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[Judge] Time to test skills [Kri]
