Unable to protect you?! I cannot see the future! You expect me to know the exact moment you are in trouble?! I can protect you! I am a warrior whether you choose to see that or not!

"What the hell does protection mean to you then?!" She screamed at him, unable to hold back any longer. "When it's convenient? Just when you're around!? You SAID you would protect me. Point blank. If you can't see the future then you should have been there! You should have never left me!" She hurtled the words at him visciously. Was she being unfair? Maybe - but then again, he was the one who offered her protection. If it had come with so many caveats, she wouldn't be so angry with him. But it hadn't, because she had trusted herself to him. What was more, was that she wasn't even angry about it at all, was she? No; she felt some odd connection with Leander thanks to the ice-storm he rained down upon her, and she was interested to know the implications of what that bond would entail. His lack of protection wasn't what she was angry about - it was his lack of defence, against a different aggressor.

And how was I supposed to know you did it for me?! You should have talked to me damn it! "I DID" She screamed at him again, her voice cracking with emotion as her body fluttering with each forceful word; then immediately shook her head, trying to recall what she had said. "I TRIED TO. I came to the Steppe to speak with you!" Again she shook her head. Why were they talking about this? Why…why were they even fighting? But just as her anger began to ebb even slightly, his words ripped her wounds open afresh. let her cast you away as you say because you had ripped my heart out and stomped on it cheerfully. Even if I had wanted you to stay, I was hardly in the state to speak at all! There's a thing called shock Phaedra, you should look into it For a moment, she wasn't sure she could say anything. Was this the shock he was talking about? The feeling of wanting to ring someone around the neck for being so fucking stupid? Because that's exactly how Phae felt right now - how Tolio had turned himself into the victim here, she wasn't sure. Although she did think it had something to do with Faelene coddling over him. "Were you even there Tolio? I ripped your heart out and stomped on it?! I barely said anything! All I said was that Leander did this to me, and that you should have protected me. Which! You should have. Whether or not you could have is something different, and not what I said."

She lashed her tail angrily, a scarlet blush colouring her cheeks now, as she listened to his tirade continue. Later, she would look back in awe at how fine a line one could walk between love and hate. If the moment could be paused, she would swear that her heart would never yield to him again not after: I will support her because that is what a brother does…I let her cast you away because you had hurt me…. "Is that also what a brother does, Tolio? IS IT? Was I not hurting? Did I not need you in that moment as well? You failed to protect me once, and then selfishly failed to protect me again, from her. You were the one to cause the rift between us, you. Because although you say you love us both equally you don't need us both equally -" Phae's voice dropped off as comprehension and understanding dawned on her, as it did that day in the Steppe. He did need Faelene, more than he needed her. He needed her strength, and her protection. Her friendship in the Basin where Phaedra could not go. She wasn't jealous of Faelene at all…she was jealous of how Tolio felt about her - the need that he had for the red mare, and not for her. She was not strong, she was not steady…Faelene was the tall dark and handsome that the gay stallion needed. He already was gay, what use did he have for something beautiful, shiny, and delicate like her? Emotion washed out of her, and she felt tears begin to sting her eyes again, as she stared hopelessly at the ground, unable to meet his eyes as he continued to lecture her, although he was speaking more softly now.

He retreated from her a few steps, and her head jerked up frantically. Don't go! her mind screamed, but he wasn't. Not yet anyways: I am saddened to say that I expect you to leave. There's nothing but me to keep you, and you've made it quite clear that you hate me. Whatever you choose, I'll always love you, whether you want my love or not. It was like she was living this moment in slow motion. She felt the breeze gently brush across her skin, cooling the heated and irritated flesh. Her green gaze almost looked through him, only landing on his features for a moment before moving, unable to stare too long. She tried not to fall apart as she fumbled for words. What was it she had wanted to say? That she had planned…? She couldn't understand why her mind was blank, when everything was so clear only seconds ago. Her muzzle began to slowly shake back and forth, as tears began to stream down her face, darkening her sooty pelt and pink muzzle. She felt a sinking feeling in her stomach as she realized that it was all worthless - he had called her wicked, bratty, sneaky and manipulative. What could possibly be said now, to mend this? A small laugh escaped her lips, surprising her for she felt no joy in this moment at all. Maybe it was her self-conscious for laughing at her. Or, maybe it was her future self imposing this laugh for what she was about to do.

She was shaking now, though not from cold. Her narrow frame trembled, but her mental strength was not able to quiet her body and her mind at the same time. "I don't hate you.." She began, her voice soft and wavering with emotion. "I-…" She raised her green gaze to his, her eyes sparkling beautifully as her tears reflected the low light of the Grove. "I…love you." Swallowing hard, her eyes half-rolled as she realized that he likely would not understand. It wasn't just that she loved him, it was that "-I'm in love with you."

I'm in love with you.

Phae could do no more than hold her breath, her eyes pleading for him to say something. Anything. Briefly she considered just flying away. Or maybe she could feign fainting? Pretend this never happened? What had she done…perhaps their friendship was salvageable before but now? Now she would firmly be put in the friend zone. The gay friend zone. What had she even been thinking? But she knew - of course she knew. She was in love with him. She had felt it the first day that they met on the beach - the electricity which flooded her body when they touched. The way she could remain endlessly with his muzzle draped around her withers; her dreams to convince the God's to give him wings, so they could soar together…No. She wouldn't trade any of it, for her heart now truly knew what it meant to love.


And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song

With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

She would regret nothing. She lowered her head, removing her expectant stare from him. "You don't need to say anything" But I wish you would. "I just wanted.." needed "you to know. I know you can't feel the same..." Can you?. As she mumbled, she only said half of what she wanted to, but feared it was already too much.

I did my best, it wasn't much.
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you.
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah