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J a c k a l | A r c h i b a l d
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By my verdict JACKAL is the winner.
ARCHIBALD -- post 1 (attack only)
[Realism]
0| Attack: Biting at Jackal's shoulder. You failed to mention which side you were attacking.
+ 1| Attack: Crashing into Jackal's body is a smart move for how large Archibald is.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Ease of Read
+ 1| Flow
JACKAL -- post 1
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Pulling back onto hindends to soften the blow of the bite.
+ 1| Defense: Slight swerve to the left to avoid crashing weight.
+ 1| Using your opponent's momentum to your own advantage.
+ 1| Attack: Biting at the hip.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Ease of Read
+ 1| Flow
ARCHIBALD -- post 2
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Kicking at Jackal's face in defense of the bite.
+ 1| Defense: Leaning head down toward neck to defend face from a possible kick.
+ 1| Attack: Kicking at Jackal's shoulder.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Ease of Read
- 1| Flow: You separated the first thought of the kick by a paragraph of rather irrelevant details before actually completing the attack, which ruined the flow of the post and got me confused.
JACKAL -- post 2
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Jerking backward to avoid kick to the face.
- 1| Defense: Rearing in defense of a kick is not a good idea. Jackal would be very unbalanced, and would likely have toppled over on dry ground even without the kick being at full force due to close proximity.
+ 1| Attack: Dei's fire directed toward Archibald's face and using the attack as a distraction.
- 1| Attack: Rearing at Archibald's shoulder. You do not clearly dictate this attack outside of your summary, and you also do not mention the side you are attacking from.
+ 1| Attack: Bite to Archibald's neck.
[Prose]
+ 2| Emotion: Jackal comes to life during this post, and I enjoyed reading it very much.
- 1| Ease of Read: Unclear attack.
+ 1| Flow
ARCHIBALD -- post 3
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Scrambling left to avoid flames to the face.
+ 1| Defense: Movement causes Jackal's hooves to fall upon his ribcage.
- 1| Defense: No mention of Jackal's bite.
+ 1| Attack: Using Lorretta's magic to return Dei to infancy.
+ 1| Attack: Biting at Jackal's jugular.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Ease of Read
+ 1| Flow
JACKAL -- post 3
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Moving head down to avoid bite to the jugular while taking bite to the muzzle.
- 1| Injury: You fail to mention damage or much pain for the aforementioned attack, which is odd considering how sensitive a horse's muzzle is and the ferocity behind the attack.
+ 1| Dei's response to Loretta's magic is realistic and accounted for.
+ 1| Attack: Biting at the burnt flesh of Archibald's neck.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Ease of Read
+ 1| Flow
ARCHIBALD -- post 4
[Realism]
+ 1| Attack: Biting at Jackal's neck.
+ 1| Attack: Kicking at Jackal's leg with his front leg.
- 1| Taking Jackal's bite to the neck could have been easily avoidable, and I am not entirely certain why you would put your character through so much agony purposefully by allowing a severely injured area to be further damaged.
+ 1| Attack: Use of War Stomp to throw Jackal off balance.
+ 1| Experience: Connection to Birch's fight with Archibald.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Ease of Read
+ 1| Flow
JACKAL -- post 4
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Running right immediately to avoid bite, resulting in a graze of the neck.
- 1| Defense: Taking foreleg kick to leg above the knee. I'm not sure why you choose to avoid the bite but take the much more dramatic injury to the leg.
+ 1| Defense: Stretching downward to avoid falling to the ground during the earthquake.
+ 1| Attack: Using Dei to attack with fire while Jackal is rendered immobilized was smart.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Ease of Read
+ 1| Flow
ARCHIBALD -- post 5 (defense only)
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Wiser to Dei's flames, Archibald tries to run to minimize damage.
ARCHIBALD
[Bonus]
+ 1| Surroundings: Archibald mentions rain and has it affect his sight and sting his wounds.
+ 1| Breed Comparison
[Injuries]
Nothing.
[Creativity]
Nothing of note.
Comments: I would suggest to you in the future that the judge knows about your Battle Buffs and your elevated level of experience. It is part of a judge's duty to count off for an opponent ignoring your Buffs and experience, but it is not your duty to enforce them. If nothing else, it will spare your word count and allow for more important details. I wanted to comment about the Speed Buff mentioned in Archibald's second post to prevent possible future blunders. This Buff does not grant your character super speed, but merely enhances their natural ability. You may want to consider the words "faster than your opponent" as applying only to those opponents who are of similar build. Archibald is a massive draft, and regardless of how much experience he has, his movements will still be slower than that of Jackal's, who's breed is built for rapid bursts of speed and graceful movement. Anyway, you are well experienced and understand how the mechanics of fighting work - it shows. Your attacks were all realistic, well aimed, and usually clearly written. Good job and great fight!
JACKAL
[Bonus]
+ 2| Surroundings: Jackal always mentions his surroundings and has them effect him in his posts either positively or negatively. I also loved that you used water to make his muzzle slick.
+ 1| Least injured
[Injuries]
Nothing.
[Creativity]
+ 1| Defense: The slick of his muzzle reducing the damage he sustains.
+ 1| Incorporated sustained injuries throughout the fight realistically.
+ 1| Recoil of the vibrations to his injured leg during the earthquake.
Comments: You were the less experienced fighter, but you handled yourself very well. Jackal kept his injuries in mind throughout this battle, responded acccordingly, and used his surroundings to his advantage. Your writing was well worded and free of noticeable errors, filled with emotion packed words and a strong sense of Jackal. In the future, I would try to avoid injuries to the legs of your characters. They can be crippling in the wild and in battle. You had wonderful posts! Good fight!
TOTAL
Jackal - 76
Archibald - 73
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david and goliath, archibald challenge
