The light in her eyes faded, and in that moment the demon cursed his own inability to weave a pleasant lie. Behind the stoic facade his chest tightened, as though an invisible hand was taking a hold of his heart and slowly squeezing it apart. The quiet breath was too steady, too long, revealed nothing and everything of the joy and regret he felt upon seeing a shadow of the old Ophelia return; a creature, he realized, built as much from sorrow and doubt as she was from unyielding strength.
She apologized again, and Djinn had to clench the teeth together to hold back an urge to tell her to shut up. Why was she apologizing, when he was the one who made her sad? As pure and noble as the white of how coat the lady accepted every word he said, not doubting him for a second. Was he relieved that her faith in him was justified? Would it have felt better to see her bright eyed and relieved, knowing that her state of mind was based upon some well-intended lie?
Afraid that the turmoil within would spill out if he let the expression soften, he looked as hard and cold as stone as he listened to her musings, providing nothing but a curt nod in acceptation of her vow. He would remember it. By the gods, he would remember; even if he forgot everything else, he'd make sure to hold on to that, because as much as it was her redemption, it would be his redemption as well. For casting a shadow upon her eyes, for not stopping whatever it was that caused this entire situation, he would accept her payment even if it caused him to feel repulsion toward himself.
Forced to avert his gaze in order to hide the emotions threatening to spill over, her question was met with moments of silence as he mulled over the question. The black tail swayed gleaming and thick in a faint breeze that was as cold as the surrounding landscape even in this time of spring. Indeed, would it be better to lie? If he'd lied to her, would she have thanked him for it once her memories returned?
"In the end I suppose that you'll have to decide this for yourself" he said absently, "but if they are truly close to you, don't you think they will notice anyway? There is so much to a relationship, not only words. Gestures, the look of someones eyes when they meet yours, anecdotes and common responses... " He shook his head and turned back to her, finally feeling in enough control over himself to allow a softening of the expression and the ghost of a smile to reach the eyes.
"Don't make it harder on yourself than it have to be. Accept the sadness and grief they might burden you with, but don't add to it by lying. Nothing good will come of it, neither for yourself nor for anyone else. Surely, even if this amnesia was caused by your own choices the weight of it will be enough to pay the price."
The words he spoke rang true, but even so there was a small part within that wondered if her sadness would ever make him feel better. It stung that she couldn't recall him or the conversations they'd had, but didn't feel a bit better by adding her pain to it. Rather the opposite. No, what he really wanted was to have his friend back. The mysterious girl who'd laughed for him in a snowy forest, the one who looked at him with steady eyes and accepted him where no one else seemed to have the patience.
Sighing faintly the neck of the big stallion lowered beneath the weight of all the emotions, eyes resting upon Ophelia's lithe frame unawares of the dull pain that rested in the darkness of the gaze. If he'd been brave enough and sure that she wouldn't shy away, he'd have hugged her; wrapped the neck over her back and pulled her close, attempting to chase away that horrible look on her face, along with the cold abyss that spread its chilling poison though his soul.
He didn't think she would allow it though, and so he remain where he was, silently waiting.
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