Questions lingered on both ends of their minds, yet neither had given voice to them. Try as I might, his innocence couldn’t have been defended forever… Just as my little one was growing up, our ever changing world was shifting toward different elements. Already we had seen a battle and the imbalance of magic, in only two seasons. Lord only knew what was coming next, and the fear of unknown was enough to rattle the nerves of even the most heartless parents. Sooner or later Cera would have realized that their existence wasn’t just full of sunlight and quaint evenings; it was a struggle and constant choice to do the right thing—over and over again.

If only this trial had come on a later date, or rather not at all.

There were some wounds that would take more than Onni’s magic to mend, I knew this and wanted more than anything to aid a speedy recovery. Yet, every single time I gazed into those shattered emeralds…anger filled soul to the point of hatred. Fury for the blood bay, but mostly I was bitter against being so incapable of protecting what mattered most. These feelings burned through blood like a flesh eating virus that bore no cure. So I looked away and buried myself in work, to ashamed and bitter against my own failures to see that Cera needed me most of all. This was my fault, had I not been wasting precious time sleeping…if I had only been more direct about the dangers of our world.

Countless if’s, yet none of them offered any semblance of comfort; and I would have none anyways—this soul didn’t deserve comfort. The honor of loving and guiding another had been placed upon these shoulders, and…I had failed. Because of this sin I was forced to watch a child grow wide with fear at even the lightest of sounds. Little body huddled against mine for something more than warmth.

I prayed, but the same pondering arose, “How could this happen to us?”

No amount of asking pried the gods to lift their veils and offer encouragement, their voices remained ever silent to deaf ears. It was an unneeded question anyways; wisdom knew the answer perfectly well. Our lord, though kind and wise—wouldn’t dabble in the everyday happenings of a mortal life. It was our responsibility to guide and protect those that held meaning, through experience we grow—through trial we shed into something stronger than before. This lesson wasn’t beyond what my earthbound knowledge could understand, but it certainly was beyond a child’s inexperience.

Guilt was upon me, for every lost moment that could have been spent readying for something like this. How could I ask for his forgiveness now? What right did I have to even pry for such selfish request? Surely Cera had grown to hate me over the past few days; we hardly spoke when together though we were together very often. I could only fathom how deep resentment was taking root.

When praying seemed to produce plant absent fruit, I turned to the words of an earthly forefather.

My parents had introduced me to the horrors of our world slowly, gently; I had been a lucky one. They taught me the basics of fighting when a bright yearling, and soon after passed from this world during a skirmish. Or so I had been told. I sought their guidance know, not knowing how to approach my son—what would they do in this situation? “Fear isn’t dust upon a leaf that can be washed away by gentle rain….you must have patience son.”That simple statement echoed back to me from a distant time when it meant something entirely different; but the symbolism of such wise offerings were the same.

It was to these words that I awoke from a dreamless sleep, realizing faintly that Cera had gone from my side. Instinctively I sniffed and picked up his tangy essence. Stretching sore muscles I stepped out from under our old magnolia tree and flexed my mind toward reaching out to Fina. She had been keeping watch of Cera’s whereabouts during hours of patrolling and rest.

Response came quickly and with more force than expected, the phoenix shot me pained image after image of a broken soul I hardly recognized as the bright foal it had been only a few days prier. A troubled expression by the watering hole and then tears, hot waves of silver that sent little daggers of ice throughout my body.

Throat closed off and I turned away as the final snapshot came through, my child was in so much pain. This wasn’t a monster that could be physically attacked, and revenge would mean nothing in this moment.

Limbs began to move, shifting toward the crying babe. I followed with scents and sights set toward a direction Fina led. What was I to do? What could I say that would make a difference? Better decide fast, it didn’t take long until we overcame a growing colt and were within ear shot.

“Son?” I called out, softly nearly timid. Fear of unknown reaction was great, but if this didn’t get put to mend now; I feared that a rift would form too wide for either side to heal, “These past few days have been trying and I…” a pause, skull dipped low in shame while limbs ceased movement all together, “I know your angry with me, if you could only understand how sorry I am…” an annoying ball logged itself within the folds of my throat causing normally firm tone to waver, “If you find any amount of forgiveness for my failure…though it is undeserved…. I…..” Breaking off entirely, my voice decided to give out, and unsaid words dripped upon the sands instead.

I faintly realized that little drops of moisture were falling from my eyes, sliding down golden dual birthmarks only to mate together toward the end when they simply ran out of horse. Fina chirped from above, feeling my sorrow as if it was her own…though she remained airborne to offer us some privacy.

“Fear isn’t dust upon a leaf…”