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01-16-2013, 12:14 AM
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Questions have plagued my mind incessantly of late, and I have flown to the Heavenly Fields to find solace. The sun shines brightly above me, and I am reminded of the God of the Sun, my patron god (I suppose?). In truth, I don't know if one meeting would name him that, but I have yet to meet any other gods, so it will have to do. He was brilliant, shining in a blaze of gold and white and fire... but I had not looked upon his face. No, that would never do, for he is a god, and I am but a mortal, and the proper respects must be paid. Nevertheless, he shines brightly on my snowy pelt this day, warming my outstretched wings as I glide. Far below me, I am aware of the changing landscape. I am not sure why I am going to the Fields on a day when I might usually wander, but go I do. I think of Note, wonder what he is doing. Pride swells in my chest as I think of how determined he is, how dedicated. He works hard at his training, and I know that he will work hard at everything in life. Perhaps he is striving to make up for old sins, but I am not one to question such things. It is enough for me that he is determined, and strong, and mine. For another fae, it might be frustrating, the time that he spends away; but I understand that he has obligations to our herd, our family, and I will not fault him for that, though I do miss him at times. But recently, missing him has managed to make its way to the back of my mind, for my foremost thoughts are crowded with the problems of several of my dearest friends. I remember Levi's anguish, his passion as he told me of a day with Phaedra, when he had flirted with another mare to make her jealous. I snort, my irritation returning. I do not understand the appeal of such games, and he certainly should not have played them - still, I cannot judge, for it is not my place. Instead, I urged him to tell Phae of his feelings. You must tell her, I had said, For if you don't, then you will waste your days wandering what might have happened if you did... Phae. A course of sadness washes through me, though it is mixed with determination. Her secret rides heavily on my heart, both because of her situation and the feelings that it inspires in me. I think of her fear, her confusion, and I wish more than anything that I could take it from her, take her burden. That I could take the life riding inside of her and place it into myself. Oh, it would be different, of course - my foal would be Note's born out of love. I don't doubt that Phae will love her child, but I must admit, I do worry - what if something happens to her, or what if she does not adapt to motherhood? I hope I will be a good mother, when the time comes. When will my time come, I wonder? Perhaps it is too soon to be considering such things, I chide myself as I drift lower in the sky. Besides, would Note even want a child? Children? I do, I know that much. I long for a family and the love that they will provide. It's not that Note isn't enough... but I want more. Does that make me selfish? Bi-colored orbs rove the landscape below, searching for a landing spot; a dusty brown form catches my eye. Could it be? Yes, I believe so - Note has landed below. A smile crosses my porcelain lips and I begin to spiral, winding in tighter and tighter circles until I am able to land gently, gracefully on the ground. "Note," I call, affection in my tones as I trot nearer to him. "You are far from the Throat, love. A day off, I presume?" I favor him with a smile, my eyes lighting in that way that they do. Perhaps now would be a good time to speak with him about our future. After all, he has met Azeen, and she is very close to my heart, almost a child, even if she was not borne by me. He didn't seem to dislike her, at least. My heart flutters nervously in my chest, but I am not ready to begin the conversation yet. For the moment, being with him is enough. |
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"Talk talk talk." |
| Sohalia Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried... |
