I'm standing now, and suddenly I feel like a new born child. Standing for my first time, my knees wobbling, my mind slowly processing the stuff around me. Mauja catches my fall, allowing me to lean against him. I look into his eyes, the tears still visible in my eyes. I smile slightly, remembering the first time I came to Helovia. Mauja had allowed me to lean against him as we traveled to the Edge.

The Edge.

That's where home was. But it was over taken with the Quian. I sigh, tears dripping from my cheecks, splashing down onto the earth. I breathe in, trying to remember the smell of trees and snow. I close my eyes, visualizing what the Edge used to look like.

Unicorns everywhere, trees lining the area around them. The very edge of the land is there where I stand, the breeze blowing my mane. My tail touches the snow and I inhale, smiling slightly. Then everything was black. There were horses flailing everywhere, eyes wide and screams ringing out. Blood splashing onto the once white snow. I flick my ears back as I relive the moment. Then I'm back here. Leaning against Mauja's muscular structure in the Steppe. I sigh, still a little shaken from my memories.

When Mauja says home I freeze. I shake my head, smiling somewhat. "I can't go back to the Basin. I-I don't belong there. I'm not racist, that and I'm afraid my daughter hates me now. I can't face her, or Psyche.... or anybody for that matter. I just can't." I lower my head, keeping my side pressed against Mauja. I was being so wimpy right now. How was I supposed to live life like this? Afraid to admit that my own daughter hated me, that my life was as messed up as ever.

I couldn't leave Mauja now. I just couldn't. Not until I received his love. Or I had a child of his in my womb. But that would most likely never happen. Unless I spoke now. But what was I to say? Hey, I want a child from you. Because that made sense. I sigh, my little 'fantasy' would never come true. Ever. Speak now! I scream at myself, shattering my current thoughts. In a hurry I stumbled over the words, speaking in a somewhat slurred tone. "I want a child from you."

What.

had.

I.

Just.

Said!? This is probably the second big mistake I've made since I saw Mauja earlier. I needed to go die in a hole now. Somewhere isolated. Somewhere cold. The Frozen Arch would be perfect. I'd have to stop there later and die. Yes, that made so much sense. That was my plan. But what next? How would Mauja react? Would he say no again? I think this time I was prepared for him to say no. Tears still streamed down my cheeks in an even flow, which was odd because I had been able to push my emotions away for a moment. I guess that moment didn't last. Because I felt all my emotions come crashing back down onto me. I don't want to move! I yell in my head as Mauja begins to nudge me forward. My legs slowly begin to move, my hooves crunching the soft and pact snow.