Calm yourself, Lakota.

A hard shudder went through her body and her face went dead, as if a candle had been snuffed out. Obediently she followed the conscious inside her that sounded so much like Ithrim. Stubbornly she stamped out the emotions that confused and frustrated her, stopping the hysteria in its tracks. Slowly all the lines smoothed from her face as if she was feeling nothing at all, merely a mannequin. Now, once she was calm, she also felt a slow burn of anger. Who was Azura to say that her personality was unlikable? Of course it was unlikable that was the fucking point, but that didn’t mean Lakota had no deeper feelings. There would never be a time when she would succumb to the icy front she held up, because it was just that. A front. A shield that could be willfully lowered. Azura knew nothing, of the situation and of her, and it just made Lakota angry that the girl thought so little of her. Because it is my choice. My coldness, my anger, that is my choice, and it keeps me safe. You have no right to try and change that.” Ah, yes. There was the detached voice she knew. Calm and sophisticated, cool. This was something she could control, even as her legs shook subtly and her tail twitched uneasily. She had reconstructed her wall, but inside she had shattered and it would take quite a lot of time in solitude for her to collect herself once more.

Her apologies echo Thayne’s, and Lakota does not want to hear such words from her mouth. How dare she apologize when she doesn’t understand? When she doesn’t even try to empathize with you? It makes her feel ill and she took an awkward, fumbling step back away from Azura. Herself and Thyane locked eyes, and she was stunned by his soft green eyes. She hadn’t encountered such a color before, aside Phaedra, but these were so different. They were calming and assuring where Phaedra’s were seductive and very come-hither. It made her give off a soft, cracking breath as if she’d been kicked in the ribs, and she ripped her gaze away from him. Azura’s tone of her past disgusted Lakota, and she felt increasingly more ill. Everything was going a bit strange in her vision, from sharp to blurry, and she shook it away. It was merely her brain reacting to the influx of signals that it didn’t handle very well. ”Can you not see our friend here is growing uncomfortable at your words and presence?” Lakota tried to feel indignant, but it was only half at best from what she could normally summon up. Instead she shifted backward, and kept her gaze from the horizon to Thayne and back again. As if she were stuck in a fog, though her eyes betrayed every emotion she couldn’t hide behind her vapid face. Slowly, as he spoke, her gaze stopped moving and settled fully on him in unconcealed shock and even…was that gratitude? Why yes, it was. She made a soft noise again, wondering what in the world he was doing and why. Why would he stick up for her, take her side when it was Azura that normally attracted the protection of such stallions? Why would he defend her when most found her anger and prickly nature unwanted?

So many ‘why’ questions, and yet all she felt was humbled by the fact that he was one of the rare few that cared enough about others to help them regardless of whether he would get anything back in return. Lakota wished she had something to give him, anything. It was a brief thought, and it vanished quickly when his voice continued in the cool and polite manner that made her listeners flickered towards him and tune in. She still felt far too fragile to talk, and so left it up to him, captivated by how kind he was. ”I see no problem with who she is…” Lakota nearly whimpered, but hid it well despite the soft bit that wasn’t able to be cut off at the end. Nobody had ever said something like that before, nobody other than Ithrim and her siblings. Absolutely nobody liked Lakota and her bitch-mode that she always seemed to default to. So why, why why why was he saying such things? It made her chest feel warm and, inwardly shrieking in terror, she stamped down on that emotion, face contorting on the outside with grief and fear. What the hell was going on?! She was no Damsel in Distress and he was certainly not her knight in shining armor because-!

Lakota stopped dead, realizing exactly how that thought was about to end.

He was certainly not her knight in shining armor because Ithrim was.

Lakota trembled, and a stray tear escaped. Quickly she shifted and dipped her head to rub her cheek against the inside of her leg, wiping it away in hopes that neither of the two had seen it.

Ithrim is dead, Lakota. When will you accept that?

Feeling awkward without speaking, she cleared her throat and lifted her head again, eyes darting from the ground to Thayne’s soft forest emerald eyes. Viciously ignoring the thoughts about how they were almost as handsome as the orange ones she loved so much. Weakly, almost bitterly, she laughed. It was surprisingly soft, as if she had no more energy to be cold despite the stillness of her visage. ”You cannot mean that, Thayne…there is everything wrong with me, and nothing at all is good anymore. You have better luck with Azura, kind sir. I don’t think I’m fixable,” she whispered. It was a murmur meant only for his ears, not for the golden mare’s. Her eyes lifted slowly, as if it took quite a lot of power to do so. She looked him in the eyes and gave a tiny lift to her lips, but then her face spasmed as if she were inches from tears and she dropped her gaze again. ”But thank you…” It was a softer confession, one she was very certain she didn’t want Azura to hear. The words were not ones that slipped from her maw often, and rarely if ever did, but they were laced with sadness and defeat. Azura’s words had clearly hit home, and those three words displayed clearly that she had believed the other mare. She really was too cold, and at that point in time, swallowed up in her own self-hatred, she couldn’t see the good Thayne spoke of.

He's not Ithrim, stop thinking like that Lakota. He's too good for you, all you would do is taint him.