| Hidden Account |
| Stallion :: Unicorn :: 16hh :: 8 |
| M.E. |
02-03-2013, 08:01 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-03-2013, 08:07 PM by Zikar-Sin.)
....Did that hurt you...?
The ground was warm and vibrant with the growth of new grass and the quenching melts that flowed from the surrounding mountains, and yet Sin knew, outside of the safety of his one and only home, it was a veritable wasteland of ice and snow, even though Tallsun had settled nicely within its domain. It was as though the very earth was mirroring the quandaries of the warring conflicts within his brain-pan.
Sin was stuck. His life was a quagmire, and he was ankle deep within the stuff. Objectivity was Sin’s greatest gift and skill, and he could look at the world around him with a sound, reasoned eye and a fair conscience. He had never felt guilty or ashamed of his actions; he had never made a regrettable decision; he had never made an enemy that was justified in their hate for the dappled stallion; he had never wasted his love on someone who had no merit to their name and blood. He lived honorably in pursuit of the concrete facts of the world around him, so that he only made those honest mistakes that brought growth and transformations to an individual. He made sure to live his life according to those inalienable facts that he had found true to their purpose. He wanted to come correct and humble in his identity. He wanted to discover. He wanted to create. He wanted to live on in memory. He wanted to be.
Somehow…somehow the dappled stallion had ventured into a place that called neither for facts or sincerity. And he was totally wrong-footed.
Around and around his thoughts were spun in his mind, until they became a tangled knot that danced mischievously between each other and melted into an indistinguishable lump. Facts were useless in the realm Sin had stumbled upon; instead, this place called for opinions and the desires of one’s heart, and Sin had never encountered that before. He had passions just like any other creature, and he knew this—but he had never analyzed them before, because they were so straightforward most of the time. He was sure that he wanted to pursue the laws of the earth and to adhere to them, but he had never asked why. He had never needed to. Sin clenched his eyes tight as a wave of emotion rolled over him in in his state of turbulent reflection.
Tolio.
Just the thinking the name of that chestnut stallion sent rippling bubbles of anguish upwards to his throat, very nearly suffocating the Disciple. Anguish is used here for lack of a better term, because Sin didn’t truly know how he felt about Tolio. That was a lie, he knew damn well how he felt about him; it was the most pleasurable pain he had ever felt in his life, as though thousands of icy needles melted his heartstrings and turned his legs to quivering masses of gelatin whenever he saw the stallion. He always wanted to be there with him, having fun, splashing in the icy water. He must keep Tolio happy. But the scent of him was getting faint, and though Tolio had assured Sin that he was, indeed, a Basin unicorn, Sin had yet to see him in the confines of their home. He was getting antsy; he was desperate to see Tolio, and this desperation only exacerbated the pleasure-pain he was feeling for him. Was this love? And was it justified for Sin to love one like Tolio? He couldn’t forget the blasphemous things that were said about his Empress. They were treacherous and wrong, and yet they didn’t quell the flames for Tolio; in fact, they were thriving in spite of it. He had forgotten his disapproval in the moment, and even now, Sin didn’t want to remember his distaste. He wanted to love hate feel for Tolio without consequence, to be right in his affection. But he didn’t even know if his affection was right in the first place.
Mauja.
That blasted King of the Frost tied into Sin’s affection for Tolio as though they were the thorns of an opulent rose. Sin didn’t know how to feel about the return of the Frostheart, but he felt nonetheless—excited and reverent, scared and wary, spiteful and resistant. He was Tolio’s king and great in the words and eyes of that beautiful stud, and Sin believed him. He truly and wholeheartedly believed Mauja was great as a King and leader, and Sin was anxious to see it in life. What he was unsure of, however, was whether he could serve him, as he was loyal to the Empress. Psyche….the elusive Lady. He had only set eyes upon her once, and yet he served her dutifully and with an open heart. The appearance of Mauja only served to plunge Sin in the depths of insecurity, a place he hated and yet he now found himself. He served his Lady willfully, but was she the right one to serve? Was his allegiance faulty?
In the end, would it matter who he chose to serve?
Sin opened his eyes and found himself within the shadow of a sequestered grove of small, dark evergreens. The reason why he found himself here was apparent; Myrddin’s scent was all around this place. Sin sighed. Myrddin. Finally, someone who didn’t cause a thousand migraines to contemplate. He was…absolute. Though he may possess many different roads and opinions and trains of thought from Sin, they all equated to the same identity and the same intention. Myrddin wasn’t shrouded in the mists of vanity and indecisiveness that the rest of the world lived in. He guided Sin on his quest for further enlightenment, and for that Sin would always be loyal and faithful to him. That wasn’t a question or an emotion; it was fact. And it was this fact that Sin supposed he unconsciously found out the old stallion to futher illuminate his path. Sin wasn’t so arrogant to assume to know the correct path to tread. He wanted to learn, and he needed someone to teach him.
Sin lowered his head suddenly, giving a tired snort that shook his sides. He was weary of this headache. He wanted to be well again.
(OOC: First 1000 Word post. Sorry. :B )
...Forgive Me...
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