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A y a k a | G a u c h o
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By my verdict GAUCHO is the winner. Gaucho can now use the endure buff!
AYAKA -- post 1 (attack only)
[Realism]
+ 1| Attack: shoulder bite – her teeth are not razor sharp. Granted they are sharper than a horse’s, but not razors.
- 1| Attack: claws to back – a wolf’s claws don’t grip as well or are as sharp as a cats claws. They could still hurt sure, but it doesn’t seem a realistic attack especially given how tall Gaucho is and coupled with the bite, it seems very awkward and puts you in a vulnerable spot.
0| Attack: biting – zero description about this attack
- 1| Attack: fire howl – this seems wiser to combo with another attack, because you describe it as if she’s just idly standing next to him, after just attacking him several times (therefore safe to assume he is repositioned and probably retaliating), howling fire at his withers. The timing and position of this doesn’t seem plausible. I would have stopped attacking at your claw and bite combo, since that already gives him a lot to respond too and now you sorta have too many attacks given everything you said you did.
[Prose]
0| Emotion – this was a very technical post
0| Flow – a bit chaotic and poor transitions
0| Easy read - typos
GAUCHO -- post 1
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: takes the bite
+ 1| Defense: scratch to back
+ 1| Defense: bite to back
0| Attack: buck – zero description
+ 1| Defense: rears at fire, burned
+ 1| Attack: smoke wolves
+ 1| Attack: antler charge
+ 1| Attack: front leg kick
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
AYAKA -- post 2
[Realism]
- 1| Defense: no mention of the buck
- 1| Power Play: “Putting her muzzle down to touch them, they disappeared in tiny puffs of smoke” those wolves are the magic of Gaucho and therefore his to control.
- 1| Defense: wonder at the wolves – although realistic she’d feel wonder at the smoke wolves and it is good emotion, you should have coupled that with what the magic description says the spirits do, which is to cause fear and numbing at physical touch.
+ 1| Defense: took the charge – be careful, you gave yourself a lot of damage from that attack, so now you are limited in what you can physically do and you must remember these injuries the duration of the fight as they will heavily affect you.
+ 1| Attack: belly bite – risky, but your best option given your condition and common practice of wolves
- 1| Attack: shoulder bite – I already didn’t believe in the realism of this attack last time, but not with a very injured leg and a gashed side, there’s no way she could have endured that pain to do this.
+ 1| Attack: fire howl
[Prose]
0| Emotion – you had such potential but I never felt anything from this thread
0| Flow – poor transitions
0| Easy read – typos
GAUCHO -- post 2
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: jumping up – given her injured leg and thus reduced speed I will give it to you that he’d have the time to react this way, but otherwise it would have been over so fast he couldn’t have done this.
+ 1| Defense: bitten on neck
+ 1| Attack: wing slam
+ 1| Attack: blowing the fire
+ 1| Attack: smoke bear
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
AYAKA -- post 3 (defense only)
[Realism]
- 1| Defense: No mention of his shoulder/wing jab
+ 1| Defense: burned by fire
- 1| Attack: nipped the bear – cannot attack in defense post
+ 1| Defense: chilled by the bear
- 1| Injury: running around so easily on her severely injured leg, that as you said, was about to snap.
AYAKA
[Bonus]
+ 1| Breed
[Injuries]
None.
[Creativity]
None.
Comments: Overall you had some good attacks and defenses, but I felt as though you rushed through this fight which gave you a lot of jumbled prose and attacks you didn’t seem to notice your opponent had made. I’d suggest slowing down and being more thorough, because some of those point loses or zeros could have been easily avoided. I would also really suggest you consider the injuries you take better, because they lack good description and then you seem to forget about them. You took a serious injury this fight that should have impacted every single thing you did or were going to do. Just keep practicing!
GAUCHO
[Bonus]
+ 2| Breed
+ 1| Health
[Injuries]
None.
[Creativity]
+ 1| Enjoyed his response to his first magic use.
+ 1| Also enjoyed the way you described him with the antlers, not being able to really feel her very well.
Comments: You did very well, but I would love to see more emotion. I know with Gaucho being primitive perhaps it’s more difficult for him, but I don’t feel fully enraptured during the fight. I want to know what his thoughts are, what he’s feeling with each attack/defense pretty much. He used his magic for the first time, wouldn’t that be mind-blowing?! Don’t forget to mention scenery too! Otherwise great attacks and defenses and explaining them well.
TOTAL
AYAKA - 48
GAUCHO - 73
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Meet me in the middle | Practise Spar, Ayaka
