the Rift


[JUDGED] See it rise [Training spar, Boom]

Kri the Resolute Posts: 243
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Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3hh :: 10 Buff: NUMB
Boom Boom!
#9
WE WERE STRONG.
we stayed bright as lightning. we sang loud as thunder.
we moved ever forward.</style>

Target.
Lock.
Fire.

My hooves touch down on Midas's shoulders, sliding along his broad shoulders and bruising the flesh, from the feel of the force as we propel forward still. However, I realize now why it is often a bad idea to fly so close to another. Despite my best efforts to fly in time with the General, his actions are not something I can predict entirely. His wings shoot up and lock unexpectedly before tugging the air, his figure sliding from my grey hooves as my chest flies forward toward the back of his head, the same one he may be losing if he is not quick to duck.

It is some miracle that I manage to throw my wings up straight fast enough to avoid them colliding with his own, but unfortunately my flight is disrupted. Like a child cast from the back of a wild bull, I am tossed from above him and out into open air. My frame does not stop and my front end rolls forward ungracefully. I snort in frustration as I begin to drop. That queasy sensation of falling and losing your bearings begins to clutch my gut and twist, a knife in my belly. Damned be unexpected surprises, for they are little more than tools your opponent fucks you over with. After my flash of panic, however, the grit of my soul captures my heart again and sets the violent rush of adrenaline to good use, my wings straightening and catching my body before I spiral down, helpless, toward the earth below.

"Fucking hell," I whisper under my breath before I let out a joyous chuckle, flying forward again. My General has duped me, and yet I am more proud of him than I have ever been. I twisted grin on my face as I glance back in time to see him soaring, wings beating feverishly to usurp my air currents and turn them against me. My already uneasy balance in tentative now that I do not have predictable winds to rely upon, but I am a stubborn bitch, if you know nothing else about me. I set my teeth to edge and throw my wings up, flapping ceasing as my heavy form drops like a stone in the air for a good twenty feet before I catch myself, now underneath my General once more.

Before I have a moment to catch a breath, regardless if it may be ill of me to ignore my rapid breathing, I launch back upward, wings tearing through the sky to pull me up, speed increasing as I tilt right, aiming to rise along the right side of Midas. When my head should be to the level of his knees, I harshly turn back in left, curving my neck to protect my face, folding my wings to evade potential kicks, and throwing my left shoulder toward the soft fleshy underside of the midsection of his right barrel. I pray that thrashing wings do not beat down upon me, but to hell with it already. Reckless, but unexpected.

Two can play that game.
""

[ WC:537; 3/3; SWIFT and AIM. ]
KRI the RESOLUTE</style>
MY FRIENDS, I'M ONLY FLESH AND BONE, BUT I WON'T LET YOU DIE ALONE.</style>

image by ANGEL!


[ OOC commentary:

I just wanted to say that this is the first fight that I can remember Kri being legitimately flustered, and I was also sort of at a loss. SO GOOD JOB. You get brownie points for catching bulky bitch off guard. ^^

Emotion in this post was great. I felt like I connected more with Midas while reading it, and it was not a simple mechanical narration of the fight. I feel like you put him more in the drivers seat rather than explaining what he is seeing. It was a good improvement!

Overall, I did not see any powerplay or any borderline powerplays in your post. I felt like you really adhered to that critique, and you did much better for it.

However, I think you misinterpreted her attack, which may be my fault (I'm known for confusing maneuvers at times). You only mention her hooves landing, but not her back hooves, which was the original attack. She is pushing downward her her back hooves toward his rump first and then out with her front legs. I intended the front legs to sort of stop him from rushing up and headbutting her in the face from the lack of resistance given by open air. You also never mention for sure whether or not her bite lands. You just state that he slows before she bites, but never clarify further than that.

On the whole, I really enjoyed this post and was impressed by it. I think it was fun and exciting. o: I love this spar.



Kri's post:

She basically derps and continues forward as Midas slows, with her chest coming toward the back of his head (since I felt that it would probably hit but you didn't mention the possibility). Then she loses her balance slightly and fumbles around, getting it back just before Midas shows up and ruins her balance again. Then she just cuts flying and drops down, before rushing back up to try and shoulder his right side.]


Messages In This Thread
See it rise [Training spar, Boom] - by Midas - 02-07-2013, 10:42 PM
RE: See it rise [Training spar, Boom] - by Kri - 02-12-2013, 02:10 PM
RE: See it rise [Training spar, Boom] - by Midas - 02-16-2013, 12:05 PM
RE: See it rise [Training spar, Boom] - by Kri - 03-11-2013, 07:35 PM
RE: See it rise [Training spar, Boom] - by Midas - 03-23-2013, 06:05 PM
RE: See it rise [Training spar, Boom] - by Boom Boom - 04-11-2013, 12:51 PM
RE: See it rise [Training spar, Boom] - by Kri - 04-20-2013, 02:20 PM
RE: See it rise [Training spar, Boom] - by Midas - 05-14-2013, 10:37 AM
RE: See it rise [Training spar, Boom] - by Kri - 06-07-2013, 06:35 PM
RE: See it rise [Training spar, Boom] - by Boom Boom - 06-28-2013, 04:54 PM
RE: See it rise [Training spar, Boom] - by Midas - 06-29-2013, 11:50 PM
RE: See it rise [Training spar, Boom] - by Kri - 07-14-2013, 11:46 PM

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