It is midday, and I am quenching my thirst in the oasis. The lush emerald carpet of spring has given way to the more withered grasses of Tallsun. It is unbearably hot, and I am more uncomfortable than I would have thought possible. Why? The heat of yesterday and the day before did not bother me so. But today, I am pacing, restless, sweating, panting. Today, I feel wrong. The coolness of the water calms me, giving my parched tongue a moment of respite from the cruel heat of the desert. A sting of pain ricochets through my stomach; at first, I think that I have drank too quickly. But then my eyes widen, and I stare at my rippling reflection in both fear and elation. As another sharp wave hits me, I realize - it's happening. It is intense, but it comes in waves, and I am able to make my way to the slight shadow of a large rock. My knees seem to buckle before I am able to command them to do so, but my landing in the sand is gentle. I clench my jaw, grinding teeth together, holding back a shriek of pain. It is excruciating. And then it passes, only for another wave to take its place. I don't know how long this goes on, for it is all I can do to lay still, to take it, to ride it out. But when I feel the urge to push, I strain with all my might, hoping that it might hurry along, hoping that I would be rid of this gods-cursed pain... And then it is over. I take a deep breath, heave my cranium up, peer over my belly to the small, crumpled shape on the sand. It isn't moving. Why isn't it moving?! I nicked softly, strain to reach, hoping for a flick of an ear, a blink of an eye, an intake of breath, but another nauseating pain washes through me, and I begin to panic. My baby is not moving, I am still in labor, why am I still in labor, the foal is born, ohmygod, it isn't moving, my sweet, sweet child, why aren't you moving?! I shriek my fear and pair and fury, blind with it all, unable to move, in the grip of the newest contraction. I can't, I can't, I can't... My eyes close, screwed shut against the world, and when I open them, I see in black and white. I stand calmly in the spirit world. Where I am the only thing that lives. Before me, my newborn stands; the youngling touches her nose to mine, briefly, so briefly, and then turns, trots away. Perhaps I should have wondered how she was able to stand, to move, to run from me when she had only just been born; but I suppose the spirit world has no such rules. "Wait!" I call desperately, my voice rising to a scream. "WAIT!" I blink, and again I am lying in the sand of the Throat, muscles straining, drowning in the sorrow and the hurt and the anguish. This time, when it is over, I know that my task is complete. When I roll onto my belly, crane my head around, there is no more pain. I lunge to my feet, quickly turning to my foals. A deep sorrow unfurls as I realize that it was not a dream; the small, pure ivory creature lies still, unbreathing. A wordless moan escapes me. My firstborn, dead before she even had the chance to use those perfect little wings, before she got the chance to live, to fly. What did I do wrong? But the second, the younger foal, she was beautiful too. She had my sculpted face, her pelt a perfect blend of mine and her father's pelts, a light reddish-brown, almost pink. She was stirring, and I nuzzled along her back, vigorously cleaning her of the birthing fluids. She craned her head to look at me, and I felt a sharp intake of breath; half of her face matched that of her sister. An icy blue eye stared at me, the other a warm amber. "Skysong," I breathed, and she tilted her head to the side, as though considering the name, approving of it. "I could not protect your sister," I whisper, tears flooding my eyes. "But I swear that I will protect you." |
"Talk talk talk." |
Sohalia Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried... |
a bittersweet heartache [birthing, open]
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02-07-2013, 10:49 PM
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Messages In This Thread |
a bittersweet heartache [birthing, open] - by Sohalia - 02-07-2013, 10:49 PM
RE: a bittersweet heartache [birthing, open] - by Xylia - 02-07-2013, 11:13 PM
RE: a bittersweet heartache [birthing, open] - by Sohalia - 02-08-2013, 11:44 PM
RE: a bittersweet heartache [birthing, open] - by Note - 02-09-2013, 12:40 AM
RE: a bittersweet heartache [birthing, open] - by Note - 02-11-2013, 02:10 AM
RE: a bittersweet heartache [birthing, open] - by Note - 02-14-2013, 01:31 AM
RE: a bittersweet heartache [birthing, open] - by Skysong - 02-09-2013, 12:47 AM
RE: a bittersweet heartache [birthing, open] - by Xylia - 02-10-2013, 01:05 PM
RE: a bittersweet heartache [birthing, open] - by Sohalia - 02-11-2013, 01:05 AM
RE: a bittersweet heartache [birthing, open] - by Sohalia - 02-12-2013, 01:07 AM
RE: a bittersweet heartache [birthing, open] - by Sohalia - 02-18-2013, 02:26 AM
RE: a bittersweet heartache [birthing, open] - by Note - 02-18-2013, 02:39 AM
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