Chernobyl

He flew on before her, heels flicking outwards underneath his gait as he went. He looked so beautiful and free. She wondered what it would feel like to cast her worries to the wind and thrive with such a passion for life. Time and again she admired him for his freedom of heart. After all, it was not perpetual freedom that she sought; it was an honest future built above her past where she no longer had to look behind her but instead in front of her. She had momentarily forgotten the slow burning agony that spread presently from ankle to cannon and instead focused on the sailing of his beautiful tail in the wind. He hadn’t realized that she had paused in pursuit, not yet. But when he did, his eyes held a concern for her that she had never seen before. Like a fascinated child she longed to reach out and stroke his face, question the loss in his eyes even if it was just as fleeting as her emotions.

The sun threw rays of light upon his back as he shifted from his ascent. Turning his shoulders away from his powerful haunches he returned to her and upon arrival she proffered him a small smile. A good friend she had found in him despite their differences and it moved something inside her to brew hot and steady. It was a longing to expel her tensions along with the weight of what they both knew but would rather avoid that made her grimace. Her lips parted as if words would come easily, as if her explanation for their friendship would justify it somehow.


But the words never came.

Instead she chuckled at his sense of humor and his sense of comfort in her. She was glad that he was but a mere Outcast- someone that would pose no threat to the Basin and someone who would escape their radar. For a few more hours, a few more days, she would hide his magic from them. But she knew it would not be easy. She didn’t want them to steal him away from her eager vices, didn’t want them to reprimand her heart for experiencing warmth. It was all so strange and far too much to take in in a single afternoon.

“Perhaps you should run for a medic, but if you do, you will lose this game and of course I will win.” She tilted her head slightly after words so filled with confidence and greed had overtaken her previous forlorn attitude. Her throatlatch lie exposed before him in prominent display of her fine breeding and she used the opportunity to look away. Her eyes reached for the heavens and prayed that he would never suffer at her hand and perhaps that’s what made her cringe. She had put him in danger of not only the Basin but the Plague as well. What would they say if they found out? She wasn’t sure and she really didn’t want to find out either. She would surely be ripped of her newly acquired title, but was it wrong of her to feel as if she had earned nothing of real note in which to bear the name proudly?

Her thoughts had gotten enough of her attention this day and she chose to look into those widened eyes once more, eyes that welcomed. They were explorers together were they not? They had much to discover together and much to learn from one another. This was only the beginning of a beautiful friendship. “I’m alright, I think I will live.” Another lopsided grin forced its way to her mouth and for once she didn’t try to stop it.

But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away