G a u c h o | A r r a n e
- - - - -
By my verdict GAUCHO is the winner.

Gaucho has been awarded one VP and has unlocked the battle buff bulk. Now that you have more than two buffs, please specify which you are using.
Please note that we had to readjust your VP after the ruling of teaching spars was altered.

ARRANE -- post 1 (attack only)

[Realism]
+ 1| Intimidation tactic: I like that you had him rear up, though you may want to avoid such wording as "like a flash". Unless he has time magic, I doubt it would really be this fast. nothing wrong it it in theory, though.
- 1| Attack: Rearing at Gaucho's hind end. There was a lot wrong with this attack, so I'll unpack it. This attack post is written as though Gaucho hasn't moved, even in the face of a threat. That doesn't make much logical sense, as horses are naturally flighty creatures and Gaucho is the sort that would probably get impatient and start attacking anyway. Also, please keep in mind that horses are usually really easily unbalanced during most of the rear, as their centers of gravity are thrown off. Rearing at an area that Gaucho can just kick out at is risky, and should be avoided. Without the rear, it is usually unwise to stand at the back of a horse anyway. They kick without much warning or necessity. :P

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy Read
+ 1| Flow: You're barely scraping by on this one, as a lot of your sentences are choppy! Some transition words would help a lot. :)
0| Emotion: Very dry. You had a lot of surrounding detail (which is great), but you missed out on Arrane. I felt nothing personal or unique from him that would make this Arrane aside from her introduction.

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GAUCHO -- post 1

[Realism]
+ 1| Attack: Windstorm to try and disorient Arrane.
+ 1| Defense: Using the windstorm to speed Gaucho's turn to redirect the attack from Arrane, taking it instead on the back of the thighs.
+ 1| Attack: Bucking at Arrane's exposed stomach during the rear.
+ 1| Attack: Bucking once more at Arrane's chest when he would have been on the ground. "Assuming that he was still behind him." -- This clause saved you, to be honest. Awesome addition.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy Read

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ARRANE -- post 2

[Realism]
0| This is really a side note, since it doesn't affect the fight at all. However, I wanted to point out that you misread your opponent's post. "...with outstretched wings, he reared up on his legs and snorted menacingly to me." Gaucho is not rearing here, he was simply rising into a tensed position. He's a large horse, so he doesn't have to rear to be intimidatingly large. Be sure to read carefully, for had this been interpreted as an attack instead, it would have lost you points.
0| Defense: Being unbalanced by the wind. While this is good and realistic, you just mention that Arrane is unbalanced but do not go into further detail. How is he unbalanced? Are his steps thrown off? How does this affect his movement?
0| Injury: You do a good job to mention pain as Gaucho's hooves hit the belly, and while a buck would certainly unbalance most horses, Gaucho already placed Arrane's attack landing, so you couldn't very well depict him being knocked over. My main issue here is that you failed to describe the injury at all. I think it is realistic how you took the attack in this circumstance, but more detail next time!
+ 1| Defense: stumbling away from the kick. This was actually a great call. I loved that you made it sloppy and instinctual instead of relying upon "cat like reflexes" like some people are apt to during fights.
0 | Injury: this injury was good at first. You mention details, pain, location, and it is taken realistically. However, in the next couple of sentences you change the attack from a nick on the neck to "raking down the chest", so I was a little uncertain if you were continuing the attack or misreading your opponent's post.
+ 1| Attack: Ramming at Gaucho's side. Nothing wrong with this one.
0 | Attack: Turning to kick at Gaucho's knee. This attack was nonoptimal. While you mentioned enough details, I am confused why you would turn around to kick at a front leg instead of just kicking out right away toward his back legs or cowkicking toward his side. It would have made more sense. Even if Gaucho stumbles from being rammed into, I think he will still be able to move forward enough to get out of range of his knee being hit by the time Arrane turns around. Arrane could have bit at his neck or cheek after, or even a foreleg.
+ 1| Attack: Biting at the backleg.

[Prose]
+ 1| Flow: better!
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Easy Read

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GAUCHO -- post 2

[Realism]
0| "Given Gaucho’s height, build, and the addition of wings, he was far heavier than Arrane, and yet no so much so that having another stallion knock into him, didn’t cause an impact." -- This is the starting point for my cause of the taking off for easy read. I just wanted to put this here because it appeared first, and I wanted you to get a good example of what I was talking about. This sentence is one of many in this post that is written in a confusing manner from an organizational standpoint. There are too many conjunctions, and it's really just too wordy. It's easy to get wordy, but just re-read. This sentence easily could have become "Given Gaucho's height, build, and the addition of wings, he was far heavier than Arrane, yet the slender stallion still caused quite the impact."
+ 1| Defense: moving to the right upon impact.
+ 1| Defense: Rearing to escape the kick.
- 1| Attack: Given the difference in height, especially with Gaucho rearing, and the fact that Arrane is aiming for Gaucho's knee, I feel like this would be bringing his ribs directly into the kick and not the flank. I would have rather seen this rear go in the opposite direction away from hooves.
- 2| Powerplay: "Enraged, he threw more of his weight to the left, hoping to knock the stallion off balance given that he was already only on three legs." -- Nowhere in your opponents post does it say Arrane is standing on 3 legs. Arrane does not kick out with just one leg or does not give you enough information to even assume that he is. Normally, horses do not just kick out with one leg but two. This assumes how your opponent is standing and is powerplay.
+ 1| Injury: realistic handling of the bite.
+ 1| Attack: trying to scrape down Arrane's hip with his antlers.
+ 1| Attack: Ramming toward Arrane's flank.
- 1| Inconsistent injury: "Gaucho felt teeth digging into the flesh of his thigh" and then... "...his left hip already felt swollen and bruised from the bite." and then... "...his steely gaze full of contempt due to the bite on his thigh." Which is it? Hip and thigh are not interchangeable places on a horse, just like you wouldn't refer to your pelvis as your thigh.

[Prose]
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Emotion
- 1| Ease of read: this post was confusing, with a lot of poorly worded sentences, mixed injuries, powerplay, and confusion of time frame around the rear and kick. I had a difficult time getthing through it.

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ARRANE -- post 3 (defense only)

[Realism]
0| Defense: No mention of pain or injury caused by Gaucho knocking into him. I did like that you mention being unbalanced. I cut you some slack for this one since the attack was written in a confusing manner, and I do not believe it was a fault of yours that maybe caused you to misinterpret it.
- 1| Defense: No mention of how you evade the antler scraping, you just say the wolves distracted you into being "almost unable to avoid it".
- 1| Defense: No mention of pain or injury caused by Gaucho ramming into Arrane, nor even where it lands or how it lands.

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ARRANE

[Bonus]
+ 1| Surroundings: You started out your opening attack post with a very clear sense of the surroundings.

[Injuries]
None

[Creativity]
Nothing of note.

Comments: All in all, I think you did really well considering how much more experienced of a fighter Gaucho is in comparison. You need to work on your flow, using some transition words really helps! You had good emotion in your posts, for the most part, and I always knew what you were attempting to do, even if I did not agree with your logic. I would work on taking damage, describing the injuries and pain. Be sure you specify where you are aiming, where you take hits - be OVERLY descriptive if necessary. It's better than having points taken off! I look forward to seeing you improve!

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GAUCHO

[Bonus]
+ 1| Breed comparison: You kept Gaucho's breed in mind, and his body type was used against Arrane in an effective manner.

[Injuries]
None.

[Creativity]
Nothing of note.

Comments: You started out strong, but your second post was an absolute mess. Be sure to keep track of injuries, and do not change the names for them. Arrane only bit Gaucho once, yet from the way you described it, I thought for sure that Gaucho had been bitten twice. Also, you had some misinterpretation of your opponent. When it comes to opponents leaving out the direction they attack from, you have some leniency to decide for them, since where you take the hit is ultimately up to you. However, you absolutely cannot determine the position of your opponent as you are attacking them. Be sure to read your posts and take out overly wordy sentences. Keep up the good work!

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TOTAL
Arrane - 57
Gaucho - 60