K a j | M a s k a n
- - - - -
By my verdict MASKAN is the winner.
Maskan has been awarded 1 VP and has unlocked the battle buff ENDURE.

KAJ -- post 1 (attack only)

[Realism]
0 | Attack: Trying to scrape Maskan's left foreleg. I think this is a fine attack, however, this sentence. "There is a moment where he fits in a single stride, for Maskan is at a decent length." -- I have no idea what you are trying to say here, but I feel like you are assuming Maskan is within a stride's length away from Kaj. The distance Maskan keeps is defined as "wide", so I'm thinking like a wide roundpin, which I think there is more wiggle room than a stride. Good directions and tactic.
- 1| Attack: Wing to the face. The angle you are attacking at makes it to where this seems unlikely, since you are trying to place Kaj's wing in front of Maskans face. However, Maskan's head is there or should be assumed to be since Maskan's head is not explicitly ducked. Kaj's wing cannot evaporate around Maskan's head and then reappear in front of it.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Prose: You write beautifully.
- 1| Easy Read: I had a lot of trouble with the statement quoted above. I honestly... do not know if I'm interpreting it correctly or not.

---

MASKAN -- post 1

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Charging left to cut off Kaj's attack.
+ 1| Defense: Halting and dropping Maskan's neck to redirect Kaj's attack to the nape. Originally, I thought the nape was too far of a target, but after considering the turn and the head drop, I figured some part of his neck could be hit.
+ 1| Recoil: Taking recoil pain from the sudden jerk of the stop.
+ 1| Defense: Missing Kaj's wing swipe because of his position.
- 1| Attack: Kick to the barrel or shoulder. I think this is out of Maskan's range, well out of it. Maskan and Kaj are the same build, so I'm assuming the same length. Kaj's front end just hit Maskan's nape, and with your turn left, there is an even wider gap between the right side of Kaj and the left side of Maskan. You would be lucky to hit a hip or barrel, I think, but certainly not a shoulder.
+ 1| Attack: Shoving Maskan left toward Kaj's right side.
+ 1| Attack: Biting at Kaj's neck.

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy read
+ 1| Prose
+ 1| Emotion

---

KAJ -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Continuing with the forward motion to lessen the damage of the kick was good.
0 | Injury: I don't think this detracted badly from the defense, and you also sufficiently describe the wound; I wanted to note that "right side" is extremely vague. Where on his side is this hitting? It's a small detail, but important in determining the actual severity.
+ 1| Defense: Moving Kaj's wing out of the way. A lot of people surprisingly forget about the wings in battle, so it was refreshing to see you remember it.
- 1| Injury: You do not state where Maskan's shove hits Kaj, the severity of it, or any pain associated with it.
+ 1| Defense: Ducking Kaj's head to avoid Maskan's bite.
+ 1| Attack: Biting at Maskan's foreleg.
+ 1| Attack: Throwing Kaj's shoulder at Maskan's ribcage behind the elbow.

[Prose]
+ 2| Emotion: Kaj has tons of presence throughout this entire post.
+ 1| Easy read
+ 1| Prose

---

MASKAN -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Recoil from impact with Kaj.
+ 1| Injury: Bite to the foreleg. While I normally think it's smarter to avoid injury to the legs, I think Maskan's involvement with his own thoughts before this makes it realistic. It's obvious he comes into this fight underestimating Kaj, but I think you play this well.
+ 1| Injury: Shoulder ram to the ribs.
+ 1| Attack: Blind-aim bite vaguely toward the wing.
0| Attack: Rearing and tossing Maskan's front end at Kaj's neck/withers. This is a lovely attack, but you fail to mention which side it's directed to. I am assuming right, but since Maskan and Kaj have broken away, I do not know for sure where you are aiming.
+ 1| Attack: Bite to the head/neck of Kaj.
+ 1| Attack: trying to scrape legs down Kaj's foreleg.

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy Read
+ 1| Emotion
+ 2| Prose: You had some absolutely beautiful writing in this post. It was a pleasure to read.

---

KAJ -- post 3

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Moving backwards to try to avoid the bite, but not being able to completely.
- 1| Defense: Rearing in response to Maskan. I think you had limited options here, with your response to the feint. However, rearing would put Kaj in a state of unbalance, and Maskan is a large opponent. The way Maskan's rear is written is more of a launch of his front end toward Kaj, kind of like a Maskan-javelin. I'm also not sure why you split Maskan's rear and jump when they are writen as a fluid motion. The rear is not an attack, but the preparation for one.
+ 1| Attack: Kicking with forelegs toward Maskan's chest.
+ 1| Defense: Taking the leg scrape closer to the shoulder and meatier upper leg.
0| Defense: Moving with the momentum versus against to minimize damage. I thought this was great, but the timing was off for me. I do not think Kaj would be on the ground and be able to shuffle movement in the same amount of time Maskan is leaping in the air and impact.
+ 1| Defense: Redirection of the bite to the lower neck.
+ 1| Attack: Wingslap toward Maskan's head.
+ 1| Attack: Bucking toward Maskan's ribs. Direction here would have been nice, though I oriented myself through your mention of left turning and using his right wing. I think this area is still a large aim, but at least you used ribs this time.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion: You got too mechanical in the end of this post, but overall it was good.
+ 1| Easy Read
+ 1| Prose

---

MASKAN -- post 3

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Lessening of the force from Kaj's foreleg swipe by situational circumstances (distance, messy leg tangling, etc).
+ 1| Injury: The way you describe taking Kaj's wing to his head, along with the disorienting effects, was written well and realistically.
0| Defense: Right movement and tucking of the hind to avoid the majority of the blow. I am uncertain about the timeframe of this. His right movement seems more like disorientated staggering, paired with the loss of senses, seems to me that Maskan would not be able to react as quickly to this kick or get out of the way. It was still a good defense in theory, if the time frames correlated better.
+ 1| Attack: Ramming toward Kaj's flank with Maskan's left shoulder.
- 1| Attack: Biting at Kaj's croup. This attack is well and fine, but the order you have these attacks makes this less possible. Anatomically, the flank is in front of the croup, given that you are attacking slight from behind and at an angle, for his shoulder to hit the flank and bite out at the croup, his neck would have to be curved around some, but you don't mention it and the head is by default in front of the shoulder. I think switching the order, croup bite then flank slam, would have made this perfectly okay.
- 1| Attack: Trying to clamp onto Kaj's rear legs while Maskan mounts him. The movement of this string of attacks is wrong. First you are hitting his flank, then biting at his croup, now you are behind Kaj? I thought originally that I was misinterpreting Maskan's movement from the beginning, but you clearly write: "Maskan meant to curve around, following Kaj's movements and staying on his right side." This means Kaj and Maskan are moving approximately the same, and so there is no chance for Maskan to be falling behind because you mention no movement that justifies this sudden shift in direction. Kaj was last stopped to a halt, so even if Maskan is not moving forward, he is still not going to be falling farther along Kaj's side in aim.

[Prose]
+ 2| Emotion: Very, very Maskan.
+ 1| Prose
+ 1| Easy Read

---

KAJ -- post 4

[Realism]
+ 1| Injury: Taking the shoulder ram to the flank and being slightly unbalanced.
0| Injury: Bite to the ass. You minimize this attack, but you do not really have any defense to justify doing so. While realistic, it was just sort of brushed off, I think.
+ 1| Defense: Flailing and squirming to try and get out from under Maskan.
+ 1| Attack: Trying to hit Maskan with Kaj's wings to help dislodge him.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Prose
+ 1| Easy Read

---

MASKAN -- post 4

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Avoiding potential injury from the wings and struggle by dismounting.
0| Attack: Shoving at Kaj while dismounting. I am confused on how you are accomplishing this. Are you pushing with his weight or his hooves?
+ 1| Attack: Trying to scrape Kaj's rear legs in the descent.
0| Attack: Meek bite. There was no defined aim or even an intentional lack of aim for this.

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy Read
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Prose

---

KAJ -- post 5 (defense only)

[Realism]
- 1| Dropped attack: Failure to mention Maskan's shove.
+ 1| Injury: Distraction causes Kaj to take the scrape to the legs.
+ 1| Injury: Taking the mild bite and moving away.
- 1| Attack: Tail swipe. You are not allowed to attack during the closing defense, as your opponent does not have the ability to respond to it.

---

KAJ

[Bonus]
+ 2| Surroundings: You consistently mention the wind and dirt obscuring his vision as well as the sun.
+ 2| Breed Comparisons: You are always aware of the size relationship between Kaj and Maskan, as well as using Kaj's wings to his advantage.

[Injuries]
None.

[Creativity]
+ 1| "Ok. Ok. Keep calm. This surely must be a custom in Helovia. This is a custom. This had better be a custom. " -- Cackles.

Comments: Overall, this was a great fight. Your writing is excellent, and Kaj's personality is really prevalent throughout the fight. I would work on how you take injuries and defense strategies. I feel like you took a lot of avoidable damage throughout this fight to avoid having to describe a defense. You also did not justify a lot of injury, which I feel is selling your character short. Maskan is a good, experienced fighter, so it makes sense that Kaj would be taking damage; however, if you never attempt to avoid the injury, he would take damage no matter who he is fighting. You do not need to dodge everything, but you should think of some way to react that puts your character in an optimal response position. Keep up the good work!

---

MASKAN

[Bonus]
+ 1| Breed Comparison: You sort of ditch the breed comparison after the first round, and I never saw you use it in consideration of attacks. Your writing flows very naturally, but surely Maskan would still be sizing up his opponent at certain points.
+ 2| Surroundings: You mention the gusts of wind, the dirt, as well as the effect of the hard packed earth.

[Injuries]
None.

[Creativity]
+ 1| "Not a snake as he first thought, just a yellow, fluffy, duck." -- I found it very amusing Maskan referred to Kaj as "the duck" the entire time.
+ 1| Mount attack was creative and amusing.

Comments: You are an excellent fighter, and it shows. Even when I have disagreements with your movements, I am never confused about what you are actually doing throughout. I think you got a little confused with movement direction in this battle, but other than that it was a very solid fight. I loved the amount of personality I saw from Maskan, as well as the consistently good responses to attacks. Excellent job!

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TOTAL
Kaj - 77
Maskan - 83