A z z a r o n | T r e a n d
- - - - -
By my verdict TREAND is the winner.

Treand has received one VP.

AZZARON -- post 1 (attack only)

[Realism]
0| Attack: You cannot simultaneously run past your opponent and then bite out at them. You should have worded this differently. "As I run past the stallion, I reach out to bite his neck..." Because the way this is written sounds like I run past him, and then magically am in range if his neck still. This was a fine opening attack, but the wording makes it read funny.
+ 1| Attack: Rearing at Treand's back. This is unwise because Azzaron could be knocked over easily from a kick in this position. However, if your character was to make this mistake, there is nothing realistically wrong with it. Just something to think about.
- 1| Borderline Powerplay: By retreating from Treand in this manner, you are assuming that Azzaron is not injured before he retreats, is not knocked over during his rear, and also that Tread has not moved at all for you to be able to circle him.

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy Read
0| Flow: The thoughts and movements of Azzaron are in plain English, but they seem heavily disjointed and do not connect to one another.
0| Emotion: This post left me wanting to feel... anything.

---

TREAND -- post 1

[Realism]
- 1| Defense: Moving toward Azzaron is a good tactic, but ultimately, you never directly mention how he avoids the bite, and, frankly, with this movement Azzaron's bite would likely land somewhere on his barrel. Also, this is an side-note but something I am seeing a trend of in recent fights, so I will address it now: the flank is not a synonym for the side of a horse. The flank is a very specific area near the bottom of the barrel toward the hip of the horse's leg. You can see it clearly here, as well as on the guides we provide to the site on horse anatomy.
+ 1| Attack: Kicking toward Azzaron's legs.
- 1| Defense/Attack: Treand is a much larger horse than Azzaron, and he is also fairly old especially for a wild horse. For him to be able to turn and then barrel into Azzaron during his rear would be an amazing feat. Also, I am fairly certain you got your directions confused here. Your right side was thrown toward Azzaron as he was running by, but now your LEFT side would be facing him and you state the right. You, again, say flank here in terms of what I am hoping is his side, because Azzaron would not be nearly wide enough to hit both the shoulder and flank of Treand.
0 | Injury: You do not mention which shoulder is taking damage, and since you got the direction wrong in your defense, I cannot just assume here.
+ 1| Attack: charging at Azzaron's chest.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
0| Easy Read: you got some directions and terminology messed up in this post that confused me a bit, but it wasn't worth taking off for.
+ 1| Flow

---

AZZARON -- post 2

[Realism]
0 Injury: Having Treand's side hit Azzaron was a good call, but this has little to no detail for me to go off of. Where is the pain? What damage did it do? Was he knocked off balance?
- 1| Attack: Drawing out this fight would help. During this time frame, Azzaron's head would be nowhere near Treand's neck, so the aim is off. Secondly, you cannot go in and add attacks that are not mentioned in your first post. You are already past this point in your last post. You cannot rewrite history.
- 1| Attack: Where are you kicking? "Towards" him is too general, unless you specifically denoted that Azzaron had no general aim. Also, again, you are inserting attacks here that should not be present.
+ 1| Injury: Good taking of the kick to his legs. Redirecting to the thigh was a good call.
0| Attack: Nothing else was wrong with biting after his legs except it's a direct attack and not a counterattack, which you cannot insert here. Fights have a flow. Challenger attacks, defender counterattacks/defends, defender attacks, challenger counterattacks/defends, challenger attacks.... blah blah blah. Notice how the counterattacks and defenses come before any new attacks. Do not insert new attacks before you finish responding to all of the attacks from your opponent, unless they are strictly counterattacks.
0 | Defense: Lifting Azzaron up with your wings was actually a good call in this case. However, I don't have any idea how Azzaron would be quick enough even given the difference in build to take off completely and be flying. Also, I originally interpreted this as a rear aided by his wings, and didn't realize he was flying until later in your post.
- 1| Injury: You mention his horn scrapes his leg, but where? How painful was it? How big of a wound is it? I would usually settle with awarding a 0 here, but legs are very important to horses. This is a crucial area to take a hit, but you sort of write it off as no big deal.
+ 1| Attack: kicking at his head, with what I assume are his forelegs. It was a good idea, so I didn't count off, despite it having some technical issues like... details.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion: Better than the last post. Still, your post reads a little dry.
- 1| Easy Read: the lack of detail in the beginning made this almost impossible to interpret without referencing Treand's last post directly.
+ 1| Flow

---

TREAND -- post 2

[Realism]
0| Sidenote: Treand was not ramming when he hits Azzaron, this was when he swung his backside around toward him. Azzaron's post was very vague and this doesn't affect the fight, so I didn't count off. Read carefully!
+ 1| Injury: Bite to the right back leg. I wish you would have made this hit somewhere on his rump instead of his leg, but it was well written.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy Read: You did good considering Dark didn't give you much to go off of, and left Treand out to dry, so to speak.

---

AZZARON -- post 3

[Realism]
- 1| Attack: Diving for Treand's exposed belly. There is a lot wrong with this attack, and I am not going to sugar coat it for you. Basically, Azzaron's body spans three times as much in the air with the extension of his wings. The lithe build of his body doesn't help much in ways of speed, and he would have a difficult time making turns. You write this as if his movements are instantaneous, but they are not. By the time Azzaron began diving, Treand would probably be safe on the ground and beginning to reposition himself with the sun in Azzaron's eyes. It was a good idea for an attack, if Azzaron had been facing Treand to begin with, which he was not.
0| Sidenote: Regardless of whether or not Azzaron had grown up with fire, the intense light of the sun would still be blinding, unless he had no rods in his eyes, which means that he would be unable to see as soon as the sun went down.
0| Attack: Trying to swoop down and ram Treand's sides with his front hooves. Failure to indicate which side.
+ 1| Attack: Trying to bite at Treand's neck.
- 1| Borderline Powerplay: Again, you retreat here. I didn't count off the first time you do this in your post because I figure double penalizing you is unfair. However, you did this in the first post too. By retreating and flying away, you assume your opponent does nothing to stop or hinder Azzaron in leaving. You may not be explicitly stating your opponent does something, but you are implying they take no action, which in itself is a response.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
0| Easy Read: Lack of detail and confusing movements made this difficult for me to interpret.

---

TREAND -- post 3

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Slamming your hooves down to avoid your belly being hit.
- 1| Injury: Failure to mention whether or not his attack lands on Treand.
+ 1| Attack: trying to stab at Azzaron's shoulder.
+ 1| Defense: Swinging barrel away from Azzaron.
- 1| Defense: Again, I am not certain how this movement keeps Azzaron's bite from missing entirely. With a broad neck like Treand's, I think it would still hit, especially since you are putting his head near Azzaron's shoulder.
- 1| Horses may be able to shut one eye, but their eyes are on the side of their head. If Treand was to close his one eye while the other is facing away, he would not be able to see Azzaron at all. Humans can still see with a lack of some depth perception because our eyes are in the front of our skulls, but it is not the same with horses.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy Read

---

AZZARON -- post 4

[Realism]
- 1| Dropped attack: No mention of Treand's horn jab.
+ 1| Attack: Using Azzaron's magic on Treand.
0| Sidenote: If I am reading this correctly, Azzaron is standing behind Treand. Is there are reason you are choosing to have Azzaron standing directly behind a horse aside from wanting him to be kicked? :| I just thought this was a very odd, unnecessary, and unwise tactic.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy Read

---

TREAND -- post 4

[Realism]
+ 1| Injury: realistic response to the magic attack.
- 2| Powerplay: "A lie, a sham, it all was, but this pegasus could not pick up on this, so simple was his disguise." -- You cannot declare that your opponent is unable to do anything. If Azzaron wants to be suspicious of a stallion who was just trying to kill him, I think that is logical.
+ 1| Attack: Using his magic to get close enough to try and stab Azzaron's wing.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy Read

---

AZZARON -- post 5 (defense only)

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Trying to slide away from Treand but finding it difficult under the weight of his magic.
+ 1| Injury: Taking the jab to the wing.
- 1| Attack: rearing and trying to hit Treand with your hooves. This is a closing defense and no attacks are permitted.
- 1| Attack: trying to bite at his face. This is a closing defense and no attacks are permitted.
- 1| Attack: trying to scrape his side. This is a closing defense and no attacks are permitted.

---

AZZARON

[Bonus]
+ 2| Surroundings: Mentioning the snow, shadows and trying to use the sun to your advantage.

[Injuries]
None.

[Creativity]
Nothing of note.

Comments: You seem to have a good grasp on what attacks to dodge and which ones to take, but ultimately, you struggle a lot with fight mechanics. I do not think you understand the speed at which Azzaron can move, and often overestimate it when planning attacks. You also have a bad habit of retreating from your opponent and coming back to attack more, which basically assumes your opponent allows you to do so, a minor version of powerplay. You did not have as many issues with anatomy as I have seen in the past, however, and I can definitely tell you are improving. Try to keep working on it, and maybe have a teaching spar or two. I think you have potential but you are still failing to grasp a few important guidelines for fighting.

---

TREAND

[Bonus]
+ 1| Breed comparison. You are mindful of the breed differences in the first half of this fight, but they slipped away toward the latter half.
+ 2| Surroundings: You mention slipping on ice, trying to use the sun, and the cold.

[Injuries]
None.

[Creativity]
Nothing of note.

Comments: Review horse anatomy. All of the glaring issues during this fight that you made were related to anatomy, so I think you need to have some sort of reference open during your fights. You had good judgment on attacks, interesting tactics, but your counterattacks and defenses need work. Do not be afraid to draw things out, even if they are little stick diagrams just to get a feel of what is going on. I think you handled the often vague posts from your opponent well during this fight, and you are excellent at incorporating the environment and breed comparisons. Keep up the good work!

---

TOTAL
Azzaron - 56
Treand - 65