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04-08-2013, 02:59 PM
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[OOC | Again, skip Skysong] My outburst has left me mentally exhausted and somewhat ashamed. Though, to be honest, I do feel better. Perhaps this is what I needed all along, to be able to hold my mate accountable for his unavailability. Perhaps all I really needed was him by my side through the tears and the heartache. For the first time, I feel as though I really might recover, as though I might actually have more to live for that just my little amber girl frolicking by the water’s edge. I have Note, after all – don’t I? But the little seed of doubt that has grown in my mind whispers in my ear, and I find it difficult to ignore. Do you really have him? it says nastily. Or will he simply let you think so, and then disappear? Will he wrap himself up in work again? Disappear? Even if he retires as a soldier, he’ll still want to do something, won’t he? I am troubled, that much is clear, but I shove the fear and the pain and the worry aside. For now, I have caused him enough pain. I do not need to cause more. Perhaps it is better that I just lock my emotions away. Right now, they are scurrying into a neatly labeled box in the back of my mind. I close the lid and slowly lock them away. Perhaps I will be missing out on feeling anything at all – or perhaps I won’t. Perhaps it is the right thing to do, the better way to live life. After all, if I hold my emotions tightly to myself, it will be much harder to get hurt. All I know for sure is that I will never bear another foal. Not like this. Skysong dances over, then prances away, but I can tell that she is beginning to tire. It has been a long day for her, a long trip in the too-warm Tallsun. And she’s been playing non-stop. I need to get her to the oasis before the silly creature collapses. ”Thank you,” I say simply, a ghost of a smile twitching the corners of my mouth upwards. I touch my nose to his gently, a shadow of a kiss. ”Shall we go home?” |
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"Talk talk talk." |
| Sohalia Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried... |
