All I can do is simply stare at him, eyes of liquid poison dripping. I cry more by his harsh words; I know this endeavor was foolish. Of course he would show up, come to me and blame me for my shortcomings, for he obviously has none in everyone’s eyes. In his family’s eyes. I laugh, a bitter harsh one, filled with malice and my true anger at him. I want to lash out, want to make him feel the pain he has caused me. But I cannot now, not at this moment. I feel myself shake, and I take what he has given me, and throw it back in his face.

“This is a quarrel I don’t want to start now, but you give me no choice. I came here on a mission from the Gods, questing for cloning magic. My thinking led me to believe that Mirage could help me with a special magic I was told to look for. I was told to find illusion magic, and to have it displayed in front of me or upon myself. Being a leader, you must have some sort of magic, and seeing that this place is filled with mist and fog, I thought it would be best to search here first.” I stop, trying to keep myself steady, but I can’t. I’m faltering, falling down from heaven, and I know it. I am at the bottom, on the brink of insanity. It was because of him. All because of him. And I would let him know it.

“But you. You! Tell me, what have I become? An empty shell of your long lost brother? DO YOU KNOW WHY? Because I had to watch not only my mother, but also yours die in vain as they tried to save me. ME. Do you know how that feels, so sit there and think that you are so worthless as to have two of those I truly loved dead? And what of you, dear brother, and Odin? You scattered away, running, while Mother and I were lost from you. Do you think I wanted any of this? I ran away with my life, I was a yearling, running from horses twice my size, going to stab me through the heart with their horns or stomp my head open with blood hooves. I had to travel for days without food, water, or sleep before I could rest. And I cried, cried and cried and cried. I’ve traveled every single damn fucking day since then to find you and Odin.”

“Oh, and do you know why I didn’t tell you that Amora was dead when I first got here? Because I didn’t want to bother you in your new home. You’ve been here, joining a new herd, doing things with them, and I didn’t want to bother you with that. I wanted to talk to you alone, but I wanted to find you when you were alone, because I thought it would be better then. And about my child, that was none of your business. Yes, my child did die, and you had no right to say anything about it. That was my first child Thor, your first niece or nephew. Oh, but I forgot, since I was such an ass to you and was “sleeping around” instead of telling you, you disowned me. I’ve done so many things to find you, to get away from the war. I still have nightmares and I wake up crying over Amora.” Tears fall in sheets now, and I can’t stop. My mouth still moves, but my breath is in shaky gasps, and my whole body shakes with me. I look at him, glaring at him with my green poison eyes.

“I wish I never found you. I hope you know that. I now know that it was all in vain trying to find you, and I was just being stupid. The one thing you’ve never know Thor, is that I loved you. AS MY BROTHER! You were my only brother, and the only thing I have left, and now I see you don’t need me, that you’ve never needed me. But I need you; I’ve always needed you. You’re supposed to be my big brother…but I guess you forgot. And to think, I wanted to come live with you, to rejoin your family, so that we could spend the rest of our years together. But no, not anymore I guess. I…I guess I have to leave. You don’t want me, and with that I’ll be gone, not just from the Edge, but from all of Helovia.”

I’m still shaking, sobbing now, crying until my eyes are blurry. My head starts to hurt, and all the anger is from me. “I just want my brother. That’s all I want. My big brother, my big brother Thor.” I whisper it, and I fall to my knees, silently crying in the midst of Mirage the Dragonheart and my newly named Thor the Gentle Heart. But he is not gentle to me, and I don’t know if he ever will be again. I think of everything I’ve done for him, all the troubles I went through just to get here. Sure, I’m mischievous, but I’m young. It’s just in my nature to be like this, and I hope to mature out when I get older, but that doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing matters if I have nothing to live for, and even Angora won’t give me something to live for. What does the living have to live for if all their hopes and dreams have died?

“If you have no words, nothing for me, then I will go. I suppose this is goodbye then, my old brother Thor. Please, give your mate and my new niece my well wishes, and I will give you some as well. I’m not asking for pity, for I don’t deserve it. I just want an answer. Just a simple answer…” I look outward up to the moon, which is now covered by clouds. I hang my head, keeping my solemn ebony body on the ground, were my soul seems to be trapped. I wish to end this, to be free, and I consider the possibility. What can I do to set myself free from the traps I’ve laid?