E l i z a b e t h | S n ö
- - - - -
By my verdict SNO is the winner.
Sno receives 1 VP and has unlocked the battle buff ENDURE.

ELIZABETH -- post 1 (attack only)

[Realism]
- 1| Attack: Horn slash for the cheek. The reason I counting for this is because you mention rearing preceding this, but all you give me in regards to a transition from this is: "I tuck my ears into my black skin, and travel". Is she charging forward on her back legs? Running? Walking? Skulking? I certainly don't know. You also fail to denote which cheek.
+ 1| Attack: Kick to the left shoulder.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
- 1| Easy Read: A lot of the action in this post was confusing for me to read. I was uncertain of movement, direction, and intent for most of your attacks.
+ 1| Flow

---

SNO -- post 1

[Realism]
+ 1| Attack: Ramming toward Elizabeth's left side.
- 1| Injury: Horn scrape to the spine. I believe that the movement Sno is making that would change the aim of Elizabeth's attack occurs after the horn slash. Also, assuming that she is moving forward in time, Elizabeth's horn would like scrape her neck, if anything, and not her back. Remember, her aim is for Sno's cheek, and Elizabeth is taller. The chances of her aim being /lower/ than her original intent is slim.
0 | Defense: Kick taken to the left thigh. "With their proximity, Snö is only just able to 'avoid' the black mare's kick." How? This makes it sound like Sno is attempting to break away, though I believe you are referring to her range being cut off to minimize the damage. Either way, this is very unclear.
+ 1| Attack: Rearing for Elizabeth's neck.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Easy Read
+ 1| Flow

---

ELIZABETH -- post 2

[Realism]
- 1| Injury: Response to the ram. "... I don’t feel much as she doesn’t put enough weigh against me to slow down my momentum." Sno is 16.2hh. Elizabeth is 17hh. There is no major difference in size here to make this attack ineffective. I would think a large horse, even in such close distances, would pose a large enough imbalance to at least have noticeable force. I don't know if you've ever been bumped into by a horse, but you certainly feel it.
+ 1| Defense: Half rearing in response to a rear.
- 1| Injury: No mention of whether or not Sno's hooves hit or miss.
- 2| Powerplay: "I turn my body into a half rear, pushing her to the left of me." -- You cannot hit your opponent if they have not already written it.
- 2| Powerplay: "My horn dives underneath her, scraping her stomach, which she so carelessly left open." -- This is directive language forcing your attack to land where you intend.
0 | Attack: Jab to the stomach. Sno never wrote that she was intending to remain in the air for long, but you write as though Elizabeth has enough time to half rear, land, and then jab out at her stomach.
+ 1| Attack: Kick toward Sno's backside.
- 2| Powerplay: "As I run past, I once again use my back hooves to give her a good kick in the backside." -- This is declarative language, leaving no room for Sno to dodge the attack. You can only aim. You cannot directly kick and land attacks.
- 1| Borderline Powerplay: Running away after your attacks, turning around, etc. Who is to say Sno doesn't trip Elizabeth as she tries to run away? This is assuming your character leaves scot free, and also leaves no opportunity for your opponent to react.

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy Read
+ 1| Flow
0| Emotion: Mechanical and very dry.

---

SNO -- post 2

[Realism]
0 | Defense: Curling away from Elizabeth's horn scrape. You do not really make it clear whether or not this attack lands, but I'm assuming not with the lack of injury illustrated. However, the action should have been more clear. "Curling" isn't something that really helps me imagine what Sno is doing.
+ 1| Defense: Dodging Elizabeth's kick by leaping to the side.
+ 1| Attack: Horn lock and attempt to shove right.
- 1| Borderline powerplay: "Right now she has the momentum, while Elizabeth is standing still." -- Elizabeth could be moving right now, so you may not say she is standing still positively.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy Read

---

ELIZABETH -- post 3

[Realism]
+ 1| Counter-attack: Pushing back against Sno's horn.
- 1| Borderline Powerplay: "I push back against her..." -- Time has passed since the original attack where your horns met. For all you know, Sno may have broken away from Elizabeth by now. In which case, you are forcing your opponent to stay put.
0 | Transition: I'm not sure I can award for this or not since it's not an attack or defense, but I wanted to bring something to your attention. "With pushing more to the left, I imagine my black horn slipping underneath hers..." Moving Elizabeth's horn more left while Sno is moving left would not make her horn slip underneath Sno's. Elizabeth would have to duck her head to unlock, especially since Elizabeth is rearing and you have no guarantee of Sno rising with her.
- 1| Attack: Trying to kick Sno. Elizabeth is in a half rear, so I am not sure how she can kick out at Sno while her back hooves are firmly planted on the ground and she cannot hover.

[Prose]
+ 1 | Easy Read
+ 1| Flow
0 | Emotion: Again, this post is dry and mechanical.

---

SNO -- post 3

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Falling back from Elizabeth's push.
+ 1| Attack: Biting at Elizabeth's shoulder.
- 2| Powerplay: "...shoulder, and then moving forward with her..." -- Elizabeth never mentions moving forward. She simply says her body is free to move, but does not move away.
+ 1| Attack: Launching Sno's right shoulder at Elizabeth's left shoulder.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy Read

---

ELIZABETH -- Closing defense
[Realism]
- 1| Defense: "Slipping" below Sno's attacks. You do not describe how Elizabeth does this. I also feel the damage done by the bite was excessive, considering it was written as "nipping" at her shoulder originally.
+ 1| Defense: Pushing back in response to the shoulder blow.

---

ELIZABETH

[Bonus]
+ 1| Breed comparison: You attempt to compare the size and breed of Elizabeth and Sno often, but it is sometimes misconstrued.
+ 1| Surroundings: You mention the surroundings often, but never actually utilize them in battle for ill or otherwise. I was also confused because Elizabeth was in the water prior to the fight, but you never mention her shivering or being cold from it - that could have added a lot!

[Injuries]
None.

[Creativity]
Nothing of note.

Comments: The biggest problem I had during this fight was the way you word attacks. You are powerplaying your opponent and much more often than you should! You must be very careful in your wording to avoid directive statements or actions that trap your opponent in situations that may not have occurred during that situation. For example, running away after attacks prevents your opponent from making realistic counterstrikes they may otherwise have used. Your connection to Elizabeth also struggled during this fight, and I did not feel her character's presence often, if at all in your posts. I do feel, however, that you defend well and have potential to be a good fighter! Keep at it!

---

SNO

[Bonus]
+ 2| Breed comparison: You realistically utilized the differences in musculature and similar breed types throughout the fight.
+ 1| Surroundings: You are mindful of the surroundings, but only use them in the fight near the end, where Sno begins slipping on the wet grass.

[Injuries]
None.

[Creativity]
+ 1| "Psyche the 'Dark Empress' was a bitch and a mule's ass who hardly appeared to care for her." - I found it very amusing to hear Psyche called a mule's ass.

Comments: I believe you struggle most to respond to attacks. I think you need to work on how to describe how you evade or what movements could realistically get you out of a situation. I would pay more attention on how to utilize your surroundings versus describing them. It is all good and great that the grass is frosty and green, but how does that help you with a battle? Overall, I think you did well in the fight. All I can suggest for you is to practice more! Good job.

---

TOTAL
Elizabeth - 49
Snö - 66