.svg/2000px-Google_Chrome_icon_(2011).svg.png){kind=icon}
06-13-2013, 05:09 PM
 K r i | H e c t o r - - - - - By my verdict KRI is the winner. Kri receives 1 VP and unlocks the buff HUNTER. KRI -- post 1 (attack only) [Realism] + 1| Attack: trying to slam into his side. + 1| Attack: biting towards his neck. [Prose] + 1| Emotion. + 1| Flow. + 1| Easy read. HECTOR -- post 1 [Realism] - 1| Defense: sidestepping to avoid Kri. She was falling diagonally, and I think she'd at least land on your feet, even if she didn't hit your shoulder. I just don't feel like entirely avoiding the collision is realistic in this case. + 1| Injury: bitten neck. + 1| Attack: tail slap to face. I laughed. + 1| Attack: trying to smash into her shoulder. It's very dangerous to use her previous position as orientation in this case, as a lot of time has passed, and she's unlikely to remain there. It would've been better to use the positioning "aiming for Kri, wherever she was now", or something of the likes. [Prose] + 1| Emotion. + 1| Flow. + 1| Easy read. KRI -- post 2 [Realism] + 1| Injury: tail to the face. + 1| Attack: snapping after it. + 1| Defense: using the awkward positioning wording to your advantage, and avoiding the attack. + 1| Attack: trying to kick him in the head. + 1| Attack: trying to push against his haunches. + 1| Attack: trying to kick him in the head, again. [Prose] + 1| Emotion. + 1| Flow. + 1| Easy read. HECTOR -- post 2 [Realism] + 1| Injury: a few strands of hair pulled out of his tail. + 1| Defense: lowering his head out of the way, and taking the blow to the shoulder. Keep in mind that you have a wing, though, and a blow to the shoulder would be a blow to the folded/extended wing, unless you've moved it up. + 1| Injury: hooves on his haunches. - 1| Defense: raising his head to avoid the kick. Not at all sure how raising it would make him avoid it. + 1| Attack: trying to ram her. + 1| Attack: trying to bite her withers. [Prose] + 1| Emotion. + 1| Flow. + 1| Easy read. KRI -- post 3 [Realism] + 1| Defense: allowing herself to be pushed aside by his ram. + 1| Defense: bite lessened by moving aside. + 1| Attack: trying to kick his shoulder. + 1| Attack: trying to bite his face. [Prose] + 1| Emotion. + 1| Flow. + 1| Easy read. HECTOR -- post 3 [Realism] + 1| Defense: banking to take the blow to his withers instead. You could've described more effects, though, and maybe dropped your left wing after taking the hit to make sure Kri didn't fly into it. + 1| Injury: bitten ear. + 1| Attack: using the advantage of being below her to try and bite her hock. [Prose] + 1| Emotion. + 1| Flow. + 1| Easy read. KRI -- post 4 (defense only) [Realism] + 1| Defense: shoving her leg into his mouth. KRI [Bonus] + 2| Breed. + 2| Terrain. [Injuries] 0| Nothing of note. [Creativity] 0| Nothing of note. Comments: Very clean race! A few of your approach descriptions in your first post had me confused, but they didn't relate to the fight movements, so it's nothing you see in the point score. I just figured I'd mention it anyway, so try to always proof-read and see if it's clear enough! Otherwise, yeah. Very clean race. You're familiar with Kri, and it's great to see improvement in your "wing mind", remembering that they are there, in the way/in danger, and great use of the lack of friction in the air to deal with Hector's charge! HECTOR [Bonus] + 2| Breed. + 2| Terrain. [Injuries] 0| Nothing of note. [Creativity] 0| Nothing of note. Comments: Very good job Imi! This was a really good fight from you, and it's great to see how much you've improved since your first spars and fights! You, also, had a very clean race, with things that made sense - however, you'll see I've left a few comments about wings. Remember that Hector has massive wings attached to his shoulders, and they can be in the way a lot. Try to remember to always account for where they are, and visualize their position! Otherwise, well, yes, great job. And try to keep in mind that even if you sidestep something, it's likely it won't be a clean dodge, especially not with someone coming in with force! Keep up the good work! TOTAL Kri - 76 Hector - 74  |
